When did it dawn that parents are fallible?

Spectrum

How old were you when you realized that your parents were fallible and, that lastest slap you got was unjust?

For me I realised at about 9 years old, neither of my parents understood fairness. In my family there were the haves and the have nots. I remember once my mother promised me a pound (mid 70s - you could buy about 10/12 bars of chocolate with it!!) if I allowed the dentist to extract my molars. I was terrified of dentists as they had tortured me with fillings when I was 5. I thought maybe I can suffer for a pound. I braved it and when it was all over I asked my mother with a happy smile for the pound. She basically told me where to go. I was really disgusted with my mother, and at such a tender age. I never trusted her after that. Her word didn't mean sh*t to me.
I don't have children of my own but with my sister's kids I mean what I say and say what I mean.

Any similar experiences?

Nosferatu

I can't remember any specific point. They've always been unjust. I think my biggest realization was Jan 1, 1987 (I was 8 years old) when I was again beaten for no reason

Ellie

I'm not sure at what age but I think I learned quickly that my mum was a nasty piece of work.

One example, that I was just thinking about earlier, I was about 12, my dad hadn't been dead for very long, maybe a couple of months and we'd had an argument about something, I don't recall what but I couldn't have said much as I was always too scared, she said to me in a very vicious tone "You're no daughter of mine".

That might not seem like a big deal to anyone reading this, but it hurt, at the time she was threatening to have me put in care (this was a favourite of hers) and to remember it to this day means it must've really upset me.

AlmostAtheist

I have two pretty great parents. My dad is pretty sharp, one of the sharper people I know. It wasn't until I was about 23 that I started to realize he could be wildly wrong about some things.

Of course, I grew up somewhat since then, and realized he can be wildly right, too.

I was probably 30ish when I finally caught on to the fact that he's a guy, like me. But better at chess.

Dave

M.J.

I think kids are pretty insightful. In many levels even toddlers realize plenty of fallibility in their parents. It only grows from there. With respect to religious stuff though, kids really don't have any basis to suspect any alternatives to the parents' story until they get a good education from other sources.

diamondblue1974

I'm not sure at what age but I think I learned quickly that my mum was a nasty piece of work.
One example, that I was just thinking about earlier, I was about 12, my dad hadn't been dead for very long, maybe a couple of months and we'd had an argument about something, I don't recall what but I couldn't have said much as I was always too scared, she said to me in a very vicious tone "You're no daughter of mine".
That might not seem like a big deal to anyone reading this, but it hurt, at the time she was threatening to have me put in care (this was a favourite of hers) and to remember it to this day means it must've really upset me.

One thing that escapes many of us is that abuse has many forms; physical, sexual and more often emotional. It is worst when the abuse forms all of the above. That comment made by your mother constitutes (as hard as it is for me to say this to you) abuse in the emotional sense when coupled with her treatment of you in other areas and its not surprising it is still called to memory recently. Its difficult but sometimes parents are just not aware of the damage they do when they cause children to feel rejection or to feel overly restricted but you can take some comfort knowing your kids are well looked after and loved....even though they may drive you batty once in a while You have a PM DB74

Spectrum

" It wasn't until I was about 23 that I started to realize he could be wildly wrong about some things."
You must have had a lot of faith in your parents. Perhaps you never got unjust beatings.

misspeaches

I knew from a very young age that mum was fallible. Be this to her severe depressive episodes, the crazy way she would deal with things, her mood swings, I don't know exactly which or a combination of all. Mum was a JW.

However I held my dad on a pedestal. The non JW. To me he was this amazing man. He could do no wrong. If he punished us it was because we really had been naughty. And the punishment was always just. Then he was diagnosed with cancer. And then I realised he was fallible. That was a turning moment for me. I'll never forget it.

Spectrum

" Then he was diagnosed with cancer. And then I realised he was fallible."
Do you mean mortal?

Beck_Melbourne

Probably the day I started High School, because apparently, according to my JW mother and grandmother, I was never going to attend High School, the big A was going to be here by then.

And now....two of my kids are grown and out of High School and working. Fancy that mum, who would have thought!!

~Beck~

When did it dawn that parents are fallible?

Share this