What is "marriage"?
- A piece of paper?
- Financial provision for another?
- Living under the same roof?
- Sharing the same bed?
To add a personal note: My marriage dissolved long before I left her with the marital home (I felt morally obliged to keep a roof over her head, at that point). Who separated from whom, when alienation of affection was already well established before I left, and my affection continued unabated?
What is a "divorce"?
- A piece of paper?
- Cessation of financial provision for another?
- No longer living under the same roof?
- No longer sharing the same bed?
I take it that we are setting aside the legal requirements of the lands in which we live (though this should be a factor). Are we really retaining ancient Judaic customs and enshrining them in moral law? Does Paul need to be ignored?
What is the purpose of "marriage"?
- Financial and emotional security for two people?
- An opportunity to have kids and fulfil the "creation" mandate?
- An ante-type of the union of God with His people / Christ to his bride?
Methinks there's a danger of overthinking it and screwing ourselves up over things like this. In the case of those raised in a moralistic, legalistic society (or a cult), seeing the wood for the trees becomes even more difficult because our emotions, internal triggers, and "trained conscience" impose their own restrictions on us. We have had our minds literally trained and encoded with a set of principles, and sometimes when we do things because they "feel" right, it's merely because of that.
If one party no longer treats the other as their spouse with all that this entails, then IMHO a divorce has already occured, with or without a piece of paper!
The law of the land acknowledges this, by considering a wide range of reasons to establish such a divorce. Which is the more moral? Which is the more compassionate? Which is the more Christ-like?
