In fact, when droppin the bomb that I intended to leave, she sent me an SMS stating that she loves me and that if this was the right choice me, better go ahead with it. She has never been a fanatical JW.
An unexpected visit
She is however, very much active, having bible studies etc, her husband being a servant.
I guess I was premature as to assume that my family is more "tolerant" than others. It seems my sister did mention do our parents that we had "full" christmas. (We have not been to meetings for close to 3,5 years). When I came home from work today, my father suddenly showed up (instead of my sister, who should pick up the boys). He had a stern look, stating he wanted to have a word with my wife and myself. He looked knowlingly towards the christmas tree, almost satisfied to have seen the evidence personally. Obviously, he wanted to see for himselv before turning us in. His conscience did not allow him not to tell the elders that we celebrate christmas. We have deliberately not DA just not to make it difficult for the immediate family to have at least some contact with us. We pleaded with him what was the point to bring it up, we have not tried to live a double life, just a normal life. So, now, after almost 4 years, we’re about to face "judgement". So if he decided, to go further with it (I think he will, he is a rather stubborn person), the PO will be notified. He is younger than me, and his family used to be our closest friends. So now, he is is sort of responsible of making our fate as related to family connections. I do not fully know my sister’s part in this, perhaps she just made a passing remark, not realizing that our elder father would react that strongly. I am, however, surprised that he was so naive as to think that we’ve been living in som some sort of vacuum these years. We have not done anything to make a false impression, just not mentioning things straightforwardly. My parents have heard our children remarks on gifts, family visits, christmas carols etc. I am not angry, just feeling sad, and disappointed and feeling resignation. I’ll keep you informed on what’s happening.
Jehovah's Witnesses hold first mortgage on the baptized Witness people. The payments due are meetings and service and the elder's jobs are to insure the mortgage payments are made. When a Witness becomes late on mortgage payments (called inactive), they may resume payments without a late penalty as long as they have kept the Watch Tower's property (the Witness person) in good condition.
Appearance and discovery is most important. It can not be discovered that the Witness person in default with their labor payments is enjoying a life without the payments being made on time. A Witness person in default may actually enjoy a life free from debt payments as long as the Witness in default controls the discovery process. Witnesses who are making mortgage payments or who are not making payments but maintaining the property by living as if they were making payments, resent Witnesses who do not make payments and enjoy privileges of being debt free.
When a Witness in default on payments to the Society, joins a church, joins a political party, or improperly observes a holiday, that Witness is indicating that they have filed bankruptcy and they never intend to pay the debt owed to the Society. The Society's agents are required to take action to punish the Witness who refuses payments on debts owed. The Society owns the other Witnesses and the Society can control the Witnesses making payments. Those are required to punish members in default as a part of their payments due the Society.
The reason people have to attend all the meetings while they are disfellowshipped before they can be reinstated is so the Society's agents can see if the person is willing to make payments on time when they are reinstated. Some Witness people see the meetings and the service payments as indicators, but they are wrong. Activity is the goal, not the indicator. Meetings, service, and convention attendance is not a means to an end . . . IT IS THE END! All goals and objectives of the Watch Tower Publishing Corporation are met by active member participation in service and meetings. That's why these are stressed so much. There's nothing else!
So, Witnesses can labor their whole lives trying to pay off the debt to the Society, OR they can just tell em to stuff it . . . and the debt is paid . . . and as an extra and desirable bonus (to me) . . . the Witness people stay away. :-)