Why do churches still make me panic ?

by Aiesha Harley 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • moshe

    Many Ex-JW's end up in a church due to social pressure, or they are helped by the social programs,child daycare, singles groups,etc. A Bible study with orthodox Christians might highlight some parts of the Bible you missed ( like charity and forgiveness). At any rate, there is no need to feel bad about your fear of the Christian church. Many of us now would get ill just setting foot into a Kingdom Hall, and some of us would find the meetings funny! Twelve years after I left the Kingdom Hall I converted to Judaism, my new wife's
    faith. So just enjoy your freedom to think for yourself and follow whatever path makes you happy- you deserve it.

  • bigmouth

    Hi Aiesha.It's not surprising that these feelings of what we've been taught for so long can cause panic automatically.The good thing for you now is that you can begin to challenge what you have just accepted as being so.Being a photographer I've never had much of a problem going for weddings and they've been quite enjoyable but I have such an aversion to religion now that I look on churches\Kingdom Halls etc with anger and contempt.Thanks for posting Aieshe,all the best.Pete

  • LittleToe

    As a regular churchgoer I have to add my Amen to the fact that there's no pressure to go.

    Would it be any easier if you could find one without an altar, though?

  • reaper

    Hi, I was raised a Jw from 4 years of age and my wife was born into it. We left in 2001 after I had 49 years in it and my wife had 52 years in it. My wife HATED Churches and thought that Jehovah would destroy them at Armageddon. I served as an Elder for a number of years, and my Dad was one of the old type Congregation Servants, and even set up a Congregation in the 1950s. So we know what CONTROL and MIND GAMES are all about.

    When we left the Cult, my wife still thought it was the truth, and every time I told her about stuff I had read on the internet, she would SCREAM at me, that I was getting involved with APOSATE thinking.

    After 18 months of praying and searching, I decided to go to a Church one Sunday morning, I had heard that a couple of exJW studies were going there, so I thought it might be OK.

    When I got up early on the Sunday in November 2002 my wife asked where I was going, so I told her that I was going to visit a freind, to which she replied NO YOU ARE NOT YOU ARE GOING TO A CHURCH, and then amazingly she said she did not mind me going.

    When I walked in the old building with all its Gothic Arches, Alter area etc I felt very strange. There was a big banner with a cross on it, which said HE IS RISEN.

    A lady said HELLO, and then I said I shouldn't be here as I was a JW for 49 years. Then another lady said hello, and I said the very same thing. I then sat gingerly half way down the Church and then the music started. Thankfully the Pastor DID NOT HAVE A DOG COLLAR ON as I would probably have walked out. The Church is a free non denominational Church, and is NOT AT ALL FORMAL in fact the opposite.

    When they were singing the lovely songs, and worshipping God how I always thought he should be worshipped, it resonated with my very being. I realised that I had found my spiritual home.

    My wife was pleased for me, but she said YOU WILL NEVER GET ME INTO THE CHURCH. That very week she was rushed into hospital with acute apendicitis, and when I told the Christians at the Church, they all prayed for her swift recovery. I could not believe how much these people cared for my wife. In fact she had not been shown that amount of love as a JW. After about 2 weeks I gave my life to the Lord at a house group and 2 weeks after that my dear wife gave her life to the Lord as well. We were both baptised in that same Church in May 2003.

    My wife loves going to that Church now, and she detests the dark Satanic Kingdom Halls. The Lord has set us both free, but in my wifes case, she will tell anyone that the CONCRETE BLOCKS HAVE BEEN REMOVED from her shoulders.

    Read my testimony on www.witforjesus.org

    Both of our daughters have also come to the Lord and our oldest daughter who is 37 has recently been diagnosed with Lung Lymphoma, but the Christians are praying with her all the time, and the cancer has not spread anywhere else and she is safe with Jesus Christ now.

    We are so thankful that our Lord has delivered us from tyranny.

  • ozziepost


    Many Ex-JW's end up in a church due to social pressure

    Really? You surprise me. Where'd you get your info from?

    I'd be interested to know.

    BTW Mrs Ozzie and I attend churches. There was no pressure to attend, quite the opposite! We 'lost' all our children and every relative for doing so. I wouldn't change going to church but i wonder about the pressure to attend; seems to me the pressure is not to attend!

    Cheers, Ozzie (permanently upside-down class)

  • freydi


    "The primary reason for this debate over whether or not Lincoln was a man of faith can be summed up in two words: William Herndon. Herndon was Lincoln's young law partner while Lincoln lived in Springfield. He shared a law office with Lincoln for many years. To make a long story short, Herndon wrote a biography of Lincoln many years after Lincoln was assassinated, and in it he proclaimed Lincoln an "infidel."

    There is little doubt that Lincoln, as a young man, went through a period of doubt as to the validity of Christianity. But he changed. (Herndon could never understand this.) There is some debate as to when this change took place, and to what extent it went. His wife said that he "was never a technical Christian." But what she meant about "technical" Christian is in doubt. In that day, "born again" was not a commonly used, or understood, phrase. It is likely she found his relationship with God lacking due to his reluctance to join any specific church.

    It is true that Lincoln never did join a church, although he attended church services regularly while President. The reason he gave for never joining a church was that he could never be satisfied with all the dogmas and creeds that the denominational churches of his day required. On this subject Lincoln wrote:

    "When any church will inscribe over its altar, as its sole qualification for membership, the Savior's condensed statement of the substance of both law and Gospel, 'Thou shalt love the lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul and thy neighbor as thyself' that church will I join with all my heart and all my soul."

    One of Lincoln's earliest statements on the subject of his faith came in 1846:

  • ferret

    EX.J.W. df.d in 1980 For the next six years I had nothing to do with religion of any kind (took me that long to get rid of W.T. garbage). In 1988 my father died as a J.W. I attended the funeral at the

    funeral home. The C.O. conducted the service and he spoke mainly about the prodigal son directed

    at me. Those in attendance who were not dubs were disgusted. I have found anew church and am very happy there. Lots and lots of friends.Served in all positions as J.W. including P.O. was never

    happy.Lots of stories to tell at a later date. For now I want to wish every body a very Merry

    Christmas and a Happy New Year. Appreciate all your comments.

  • Aiesha Harley
    Aiesha Harley

    Hi all

    Am back again. It takes a while to respond as I don't have my own computer yet so bear with me if I don't respond straight away.

    Codeblue i'll definitely be looking out for the book you mentioned in the bookshops, if anyone else has other recommendations they'd be much appreciated.

    Ferret, the same thing happened at my father's cremation. Just as I was coming to think that JWs weren't soooo bad, the elder conducting the talk spent a large portion with remarks blatantly directed at myself, my two brothers and my sister and their respective families. Then a friend of my father's approached me after the cremation and intimated that i should take not of the elder's 'thought provoking' words. I refuse to even pass the time of day with this man now if he's there when i visit my mum - how insensitive to say things like that when you're trying to wrestle with your own feeling of bitterness, anger and obvious love that you have for a misguided father who thought he was doing his best for his family but spent more time 'shepherding the flock' and making himself ill in the process than paying his own family attention.

    Oo think I've been ranting a bit too long now.

    Thank you all for your kind words. I'm not looking to join any new faith of any kind, i'm just developing an interest in what else is out there, i don't even know what i think about there being a god. It'll take time.

    I'm always happy to chat to people who are perhaps struggling themselves and need someone to talk to, i'm a very good listener and have no intention of telling people what they should do, after experiencing that for so long i'm very much an advocate of finding your own way without being bullied by people who have obviously been blinded by lies.

  • Aiesha Harley
    Aiesha Harley

    By the way, come someone please tell me what this dub business is all abouty? I've never heard it before.

  • under74

    dub means Jehovah's Witness or JW which can be pronounced jay-dub-ya from that we get "dub"

    Didn't welcome you before because this is the first time I'm seeing your posts--so welcome. Happy you're here and hope you stick around a while.

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