"Fluff" Cheesecake in Hell?

by Sparkplug 1 Replies latest jw friends

  • Sparkplug

    Ok, yesterday I found out by a co-worker that I am going to hell because I have not accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior. So I thought I would help this lady understand that not all people are the same and it would be a crime, possibly insane to judge a confused person to death in hell when they are just not sure about this God thing. I used the example of driving home last night and on the way I see that I am going to be hit by a semi and die. How hypocritical I would be to to call out to God just to cover my bases (in case I die so that I do not go to hell). I also asked how we in our imperfect wisdom can be so smart to see that we cannot condem a crazy person to the death penalty, but God who is able to read hearts will kill us, when he can see that we just have no faith and have had hard lives. How can one force oneself to believe. I cant do it. So?.....Nope no deal, I am still going to hell!

    So in order to difuse the situation I ask her to please show me where the verse is saying that I am going to hell.

    I Today, I walk into work hoping to myself she has forgotten...No Way. She is there with the "Word." So for the first 45 minutes I hear how the word says this and that, but I still have not seen the scripture. She cracks open the word and reads somthing very unconvincing to me and closes it. So I figure she can hold the faith that I am going to hell for me. I think to self that I cant even find faith which would possibly be a good thing...so I surely am not taking on the burden of hell.

    I sit down and find a stocking and 2 cards and a ton of chocolate on my desk. I think to myself, "This is not Hell food!"

    I start to work, but then comes gift exchange. Someone gave me a great pair of ganster earings and they shine like real plastic. It was cute, but now what is my son going to get me to bling about?

    Then when I get back to my chair I see that Santa brought me a huge bag with Pajamas and a Juneteenth shirt and another huge box of candy! Cherry Sours. I think The devil is lacing my path to Hell with the yummiest stuff!

    Then I go to the store and do a final run for a forgotten sweetie who did not get a present. My messenger of condemnation rides with me. She makes no mention of Hell so I am happy!

    Then we have a group lunch. More hell food, slathered in butter and followed by bad fats. The service was so bad that Bible Gal gave the manager a quick taste of his own personal talking Hell! So we were given huge slabs of Hell Cheesecake and followed by free meal tickets.

    I waddled back to work and looked at all my loot, softly prayed for lots of good kissing before I go to hell even though I have quite a round body due to all this lucious hell food,............. and thanked the Good Lord for making my pathway to hell such a loving and happy one!

  • Eyebrow2

    "The Road to Hell is paved with cheesecake."

    I too, have travelled that road. And will many times in the future. I think it is well worth it.

    Besides, we from Texas can handle hell...after all, it cannot be much hotter?

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