Double Standard with gender???

by under74 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • under74

    OK--this came up because of another thread. It didn't really belong on the thread in question so I thought I'd start a new one.
    My thinking is that there is a big double standard not just because of religious beliefs but because people are taught that-- men are more sexual than women, Men think more about sex than women, Men take advantage of this way of thinking and women don't. Women get hurt by having sex without commitment and men don't. All men think the same way...and all women think the same way.
    There's also this thing about women being more peaceful/less violent than men...maybe this is a different subject all together but I think it to be false. I guess I'm just tired of all the stereotypes, although I know much of it's learned and a lot of it comes from other women....I'm not blaming any one gender for it...I blame both in my US society.

  • serendipity

    Great topic, under74. Thanks for starting it.

    Both men and women exhibit *nearly* all those behaviors on a continuum, if the trigger exists. It isn't accurate to claim "all men" are/do xyz or all woment are/do abc.

    However, we can't ignore biology and that the brains of men and women operate differently. There are going to be differences, generally speaking. There are also exceptions to the rule. And people can and do change over time. I was quite an unemotional woman - until I had a child.

    I have to go now, but I'll be back later, with more to say on other double standards.

  • under74

    serendipity- glad you found the thread.
    hmmm...I'm glad you stated all aren't the same. I know I've read about brain differences BUT I haven't seen them. I've seen differences but I know what I've seen can be attributed to learning, not nature.
    I'm not saying there is a wrong or right here. Just stating what I think and know first hand. While some of it is clouded by having people tell me how I should feel as a woman, I can honestly tell you now that as a female having my closest friends being male for years now...I don't see much of a difference. Also, that being said, I've been told (because I'm female) I should feel a certian way about things because I'm female....I don't. I don't think I need to get married. I don't feel the need to have kids. I think a lot of the crap I thought about at 12 was taught to me as ytadition or part of nature was really more paternal or christian mindset.
    Is it just me?

  • under74


  • Confession

    Wow! Talk about a subject right up my alley... I've felt this way for years, Under74. I wrote the following a few months ago...

    My two cents. I believe that temperament is a better indicator of behavior than sex, but there are some aspects of temperament that identify differences between the sexes. I'm here referring to the Myers-Briggs Temperament Index.

    Interestingly out of the four elements of human temperament, only one of them shows any significant difference among the sexes: that of Thinking versus Feeling. In one study it was determined that 43% of men show a preference for Thinking versus only 24% of women. Please understand this is not suggesting that 57% of men and 76% of women don't know how to "think." It only means that they pay at least a bit more attention to their feelings than to their thoughts. Decisions and behavior come more from emotions and desires than from logic. One interesting thing I've noted is that the difference here (between men and women) may not be as big as most think. Nonetheless there is a difference.

  • under74

    ah, confession- thanks for that post. It makes a lot of sense. I guess as to the last thinking keeps falling back on the difference (or main differences) being taught and not natural.

    But again thanks very much for the post. I'm glad all people don't think there's an extreme difference in people's thinking based soley on gender.

  • TD

    I don't think people can or should be "pigeon holed" by gender or anything else. It doesn't matter if the "rule" is valid or not, there will be exceptions to it. That said, I don't agree with the idea that there are no inborn differences between the genders and that everything is learned behavior (Not that anyone here has said that -- I've heard it from others.)

    I thought this was humorous:

  • Confession

    I think a LOT of it has to do with the things we are taught--both by our parents and by society. I recall a news program several years ago that examined the way school teachers spoke to their young students. Although the teachers agreed in the importance of treating all children the same way, a huge majority were found to be encouraging children along stereotypical sexual lines.

    Boys were usually called on first in class participation. Comments made to boys concentrated on the concrete and the logical. Teachers were often found telling girls how "pretty" their writing or drawings were. Things like this.

    Having had experience with a great variety of women, I can positively state that LOTS of them are every bit as sexual and sexually driven as any male. That said, I still believe they are in a minority. Societal training? Sure, to a degree. But you can't deny the effect of testosterone on males.

    My conclusion: Yes, men and women are different. But not nearly as much as people believe they are. Temperament is a much better indicator of behavior.

  • Spectrum


    "good freakin lord, I'm a woman and I've lived with men my whole life. I'm sick of jackasses telling how different I feel even though my closest confidants have been me on's not all that different.

    This is one of the those differences Under74, neurotic outbursts when they don't agree with you.

  • under74
    under74're filling the jackass role very well. If you don't see how stereotypical your original post was I'm not going to be able to help the way pay attention and you'll better understand where other people are coming from. But you're apparently looking to put all women in the same slot....go right ahead...and good luck in the future.

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