Collateral damage

by dinah 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • dinah

    Hello folks, this is the first topic I've started, so bear with me please.

    I had searched the internet to try and find my way, made a stop here a couple of years ago but just now decided to join. Anyhoo, in all my searching I've realized that many ex-jws aren't dealing well. That raises a question for me, because after finally reading the gospels I realized Jesus would never treat people the way the GB does EVEN in the interest of keeping a congregation clean (Which is a JOKE, btw).

    The anger seems to come out of nowhere. Ive been out for 20 years, but spent my first 18 in the organization. When you leave it, it leaves a big hole somehow. Not that we needed it, we were just taught we did. I wonder about the ones who were kids when I was a kid----how are they doing?? I know of several who stayed in (my potential marriage mate *gag* is one. He was a nice guy--just not the kinda life I want). Anyway, I'll think I've put in all behind me but NOOOOOOO--here it comes to knock me down again. I'm tired of it!! Is there anyway to "unwash" your brain??

    This place seems cool, lots of diversity. I may have "met" some of you before under a different name. Y'all be cool, and let's all take care of each other. No one else could ever understand unless you've been there.

  • Dune

    I think apathy has helped me, lol.

    A part of me still clings to the orgo because theres a part of me that thinks "This really might be true, and God really might be angry that i'm letting these wonder..i mean sly,cunning postates change my mind" But i remember a guy saying that even if it is true, he wouldnt want to spend eternity living in the Physical paradise if its anything like the "spiritual paradise" that we have now.

  • daystar

    I think we take a spiral, elliptical path around, and away from, our pasts in the WTS.

    I was out for fifteen years, having simply covered over many of the issues that I should have dealt with then, before I realized that I was not quite really over it all. I don't know that there is an "over it completely".

  • confused_101

    I don't know if I will ever be totally rid of all the "teachings" that I was taught. I was raised as a dub. I remember the threats of spankings for falling asleep (when I was like 5) I remember of always being afraid if I did something wrong. I always felt like an outsider at school. I remember thinking that we (JW) were special, that God only listened to our prayers and that we were the only ones that knew the "truth". Now I think it's a huge load of SH*T! It's men teaching their interpretation of the bible. It's us trying to prove a faithfulness and devotion to other men. Why do they have the right to judge anyone else? I also feel that for the most part JW are hypocrites.

    It's so hard to push all the thoughts about this man made religion out of my head. It's hard to unlearn all that we were forced to learn. It's funny that I was talking to my sis (she is a JW and she was trying to preach to me lately) and I asked her a question and she stated that she just finally has a relationship with Jehovah and that it has taken her years and years for the information to be "pounded" into her brain and for her to comprehend what is trying to brainwashed. Funny thing is that this was her defense and she didn't see what is wrong with that. Oi Vey!

    I still pray, I pray that God will give me guidance and understanding. That some how I realize what is the "truth" and how I need to incorporate it into my life.

    "The Truth Is Out There" "Trust No One"

  • AlmostAtheist
    But i remember a guy saying that even if it is true, he wouldnt want to spend eternity living in the Physical paradise if its anything like the "spiritual paradise" that we have now.

    This sort of comment makes me sad, because it says a guy is suffering needlessly. The watchtower DOESN'T have the truth. They AREN'T the "true religion". They DON'T follow the Bible 100%, as they claim. To sit around feeling guilty for leaving, or worried that "they might be right after all" is to needlessly waste your life.

    Knowledge is power. In order to "unwash" your brain, go un-prove their doctrines. Prove to yourself that the 607BCE date is an unsupported date, made up by the Watchtower to fit their pet chronology. See for your yourself the inherent contradictions in forbidding one practice with pagan origins (holidays), while explicitly condoning another (pinatas). Read "Crisis of conscience" and see how decisions are REALLY made by the Governing Body (apparently the Holy Spirit can only garner a 2/3 majority vote among the members). Ask yourself why God's One True Holy Organization would allow members to die rather than accept a blood transfusion, while allowing the many component parts of blood to be used medically?

    Consider the logical impossibility of the task they've assigned themselves. There are more people born every day than are reached by the preaching work every day. Would God really assign an all-important, life-saving task to a group so small that it is physically impossible for them to complete it?

    Look at their judgemental attitude, their litany of rules, and ask yourself how different they really are from the Pharisees Jesus condemned. Consider the many, many books they've written to explain what was allegedly the same "truths" communicated to the Ethiopian eunuch during a single chariot ride.

    Could you imagine Jesus telling Mary to SHUN Martha? (Is there any record of Jesus ever instructing anyone to shun anyone?)

    Could they possibly have the truth? No, not a chance. You'll win the lottery a hundred times and lose all the money in a string of freak bank crashes before JW's will have "the truth".


  • atypical

    I totally agree with Dave. Read for yourself, learn for yourself. Stop reasoning with emotion, and start making decisions based on reality. That's what I have been trying to do. When I started having doubts about the "truth", I thought the answer was to research and prove to myself that it was really truth. I found nothing but the opposite. At that point, I had the choice either to ignore what I had learned and choose convenience, or act based on what I knew to be true.

    After you have proved to yourself what is the truth about this particular religion, then you have to figure out how to be true to yourself. My wife tells me that I have got to start learning to be "selfish". She says not all selfishness is bad, sometimes you have to protect yourself or you will be used up and thrown away.

  • amused

    atypical.....Good point about learning to be selfish. I can't speak for anyone else raised as a JW as I was, but even at 54 yo and having been inactive for over three years now, my personal boundaries are all over the place. I have a terrible time knowing when to say no and I feel guilty anytime that I do.

    These are lessons one should have learned early on. I am learning them now but find myself often regressing to old habits. One day at a time as they say. It is getting better.

  • Gretchen956

    It sure does take a long time to work through the damage! Just when you think you have finished some little thing will cause a reaction, "where did that come from??" All you can do is take them one at a time as they come up, work through the feelings, examine what's really the issue, and work it out. It does get better and better and further and further apart.

    And guess what, life outside is GREAT!!!!


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