I have a keen interest in minority rights. My identification with the poor and oppressed can be traced directly to the Witness influence. It hurt! It was particularly bad in elementary and junior high school. I coped by fantasizing that I was a Purtian girl with strict parents. Any historical fiction written for girls was eaten up. I certainly was not raised as a present day kid.
I hated the Wt experience so much I became very driven. Grades were my only measurement of self-esteem. I am addicted to being around bright people and competing civilly. Perhaps I would also have a drive w/o the Witnesses. Repeatedly, I overstudied to the point of hysteria and would break the class curve by knowing trivia. I did not think deeply.
I feel as though I am constantly running in life away from the Witnesses. Altho I left decades ago, I feel they are chasing me. When I am at a pleasant event, such as a rock concert or working in the Senate, my mind thinks how blessed I am.
My life was also determined by severe paternal abuse so I don't know how to separate the elements. I heavily identify as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic or Dysnfunctional Family. It seems I spend much time trying to limit the damage. Until ACA, I thought good grades, education, sexy job were signs that I was free. Now I see how it is not the case. KH attendance caused my disassociation.
Yet to be fair, compared to others in my parents' socioeconomic bracket, the Witnesses exposed me to a lot of written material. The Awake! mag exposed me to much. It is easy to discount it from where I sit now but it served a good purpose during my formative years.
When I see Sunday school classes in session at church, I tear up. Oh, to be loved and to be special just for being. People tell me I am bright and I want to explode. Nice, fun, attractive are also adjectives that can be applied to me. Yes, the Witnesses helped shape me into a doing machine.