I've felt different much of my life, but I can't attribute it to being a JW. We moved around a lot as a kid, so I never fit in, even before we became JWs. When we first became JWs, I was very zealous and walked the straight and narrow. So much so, that the JW kids thought I was a square. There were no other young fanatics like me in the cong. so I didn't fit in with my JW peers. Then, I realized as a teen I didn't want to be judgmental and self-righteous and fanatic like my JW family, so I became an outsider even around them.
As I entered college, still a JW, I wasn't into partying and drinking and drugs, so I was an outsider there. When I started my first professional corporate job, I realized I didn't want to climb the corporate ladder, because of the questionable ethics and lack of integrity I saw among the bigwigs, and especially they're disregard for the peons. So my lack of ambition made me an outsider. Currently at work, there are other unambitious ones like me, but they're at different stages in their lives. So I don't feel I fit in.
I certainly don't fit in my JW congregation, being the only 40ish single parent and "professional career woman" who's definitely on the bottom rung of the social ladder, due to being marked and being inactive.
I don't know if it's my thinking or deeply entrenched patterns of keeping a distance, but I know that I'M the one who will have to change. Once my daughter gets a bit older, I'm going to join a book club and will also volunteer for a charity to get out and about, getting hobbies and making some friends. I may also get brave enough to meet up with some of the ex-JWs in this area. I'm still hopeful that I'll overcome whatever restrictive habits I have, round off my square peg and find a round hole to call home.