what do you think?

nicbic

i'm getting the feeling my friend is going more into her jw life and very slowly cutting me out. i have been maintaining contact whether or not i get responses so far. is this the right action to take? if this was a non-jw friend i would get the message & not contact her either (you know the kind of 'fine then' attitude with people you grow apart from?) however, i feel i am her only contact with the outside and want to show compassion no matter what. any ex-jw's out there who know how to handle this? THANKS.

defd

what do you mean that you are her only contact with the outside?

D.

nicbic

sorry, i meant like i'm her only non jw contact, in my view i see that as the outside but i probably said it wrong. she works with non jws but doesn't mix with them, i just wondered if i wasn't in her life and circle at all, she would have no balance to see outside her 'religion'

defd

Do you have feelings for this girl?

D.

nicbic

no - she is my friend, i have caring feelings for her welfare. i would like to maintain the friendship as we have been friends for a while and been through a lot together.

defd

Do you think it is a bad thing for her to rekindle her relationship with Jehovah?

D.

under74

nic- defd is still a Witness and somehow it's cool for him to associate with apostates on line but he'll still defend JW rhetoric to the line.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. It could be you're the only showing her how "worldly people" can be good and caring. Just keep being a friend. She's going to do what she's going to do--whether it be give into the fear drilled in by the JWs or maybe at some point make a break. Just remember there's only so much you can do besides being her friend and letting her know you're a "true" friend.

Enigma One

Nic, sorry but if your friend goes back into the cult she will continue to see you less and less. It's part of the control mechinisms they use. That way for anyone to leave they must lose everything. Also, it filters any non-WTBS info that they get. You have 2 options. One let things be as they may, seeing her rarely while trying to bring up valid points when you do see her. Or two, do an intervention and explain everything that is wrong with the religion. But you may lose her as a friend as she thinks you may be trying to mislead her.

Some people just want to suffer. They feel suffering means they are working to the great good of God's glory. Tell her to become a Catholic.....twice the fun and only 1/2 the guilt. Tastes great, less filling. But I digress....maybe it will take her going back to see all the hypocrisy who knows. Maybe not. Maybe it will take her another lifetime to reach enlightenment.

yaddayadda

"If it don't fit, don't force it...just relax and let it go".

tetrapod.sapien

is this the right action to take?

hey nic, welcome to the board!

i am sorry to say as well, that your friendship may die off.

i knew that i would be shunned when i DA'd myself, but i tried keeping email contact with my best friend as well. and after a couple of emails with no replies, spaced out over a couple of months, i just stopped and went on with my life. i know, it's rough. but that's the way it is. it still makes me sad, but he doesn't want to be my friend, so what can i say?

i wish you the best on your journey...

TS

what do you think?

Share this