Question regarding my nephew

caz

I'm the aunty of 3 the boys i wrote about a few weeks ago who had lost their jw father to suicide.

My (16 year old) nephew has come to live with me and he has been brought up as a jw all of his life, although not baptised yet.

He hasn't made one mention of them or meetings at all since his father's death, ( 4 weeks ago) other than to tell me he was very disappointed in the lack of support shown his Dad by the elders of his congregation during his lowest moments of depression and to the boys since.

But tonite he told me he was going to the mid week meeting. Apparently his cousin was doing a talk and had called him to ask if he would like to attend and she would pick him up. He said that he would go but decided at the last moment not to, I didn't push as to why but i'm just wondering, what can i say to him if he does decide to start attending again?

His Uncle is an elder and has a lot of influence on the boys, I know he is just biding his time in getting his hooks back into them. He was very unhappy about my nephew coming to live with me, being a 'worldly person' but he hasn't actually offered a place for any of them at his home!

I would hate to see the jw's get to him, i know what a miserable life he will have if they do but, scriptually I do not know where to start in being able to convince him, ( if I need to) that the truth is in fact..... a lie!

Can anyone suggest some simple points that I could make? I myself know the basic beliefs after studying with them for several years and still have most of the books given me during that time, eg, The reasoning book, All scripture, Insight on the scriptures etc. Could I use these to show him the errors and lies?

I would appreciate any help and advice regarding this. Thanks.....CaZ

garybuss

Treat Witnessism like a bad habit and don't enable it. Reward him for missing meetings by scheduling things he loves on meeting nights. Make it easy and fun to not be a Witness.

jgnat

A the same time, I'd be careful about forbidding a teenager from anything. Teenagers have a habit of rebelling against unreasonable (to them) restrictions. He likely feels a lot of guilt about missing the meetings. Gary Buss's idea of filling his life with other activites is good.

If he does decide to go, go with him. Afterwards, uncritically, ask him about things you observed during the meeting.

I am a bit worried that the boy is not talking. He likely has no-one to share his misgivings with. He won't share them with you, because you will just answer, "Well of course, it's a cult." He is not expecting you to have the sensitivity to understand all he's going through. For the same reason, he can't talk to JW's because all they will tell him is, "You must forgive ~~the Watchtower Society~~ Jehovah. Everyone is imperfect. The answer to your pain is meetings, field service, and study." And he certainly doesn't need THAT.

Can you find him an objective third party, a counsellor of some sort, that he could talk to?

AlmostAtheist

I agree with Gary and JGnat.

Also, teens hate to be lied to. They are just coming out of the "adults know everything" phase and entering the "adults have lied to me" phase. If he can see even a glimmer that JW's don't have "the truth", it might help to innoculate him against it. Do you know what JW's teach, and why they are wrong?

I'm afraid if all he sees is that it's fun not to be a JW, he'll still have those niggling doubts that he's on the "wrong course" and will eventually return to the cult.

Dave

jstalin

Log out and leave the JWD home page up on your pc...

darkuncle29

Log out and leave the JWD home page up on your pc...

I like this idea, but I also think that if he should ask, you should be gentle yet bluntly honest. If he initiated a conversaton, you might be able to go over some of the simple facts about the WT, but in such a way that he can reason it out on his own.

Enigma One

Gary has good advice. But also this would show him how "normal" worldly people are...and that they do care about one another, and do have moral codes. As JW's they are taught all worldly people run around fornicating at every opportunity. If he sees "true love" amongst your group of friends...it would further challenge his beliefs he has been taught.

misspeaches

First of all Caz I think it's great that you are there for this poor kid in such a tragic time...

It appears he is quite disillusioned with the witnesses at the moment. I suggest that you do not hide that you post on this board. Secondly when it is meeting night why don't you arrange to do something fun/interesting on that night in advance. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant but a distraction more than anything.

Teenagers aren't silly. They have very analytical minds. Giving him the space and the resources and the support he needs may just open his eyes up to the truth about the dubs.

I wish you and your family all the very best!

theinfamousone

yeah i agree enigma one... take him out, let him see that the "world" is not all about drug, and drinking and murder and evil and bl a bla bla... this willhelp him see the lies for himself...

the infamous one

caz

Thankyou everyone,

You have all given me some good, sound advice for which I appreciate very much.

I like the idea of planning stuff to do on a meeting night and will be working on that suggestion.

I too believe that at the moment he is enjoying his time away from the association but I think they have him in the 'guilt grip' and he may well go back to it all if he feels too bad.

Yes he is dissolusioned with them but he has so many family on his late father's side that are jw's, including his elderly grand pop whom he looks up to, that I am sure before long, they will be hounding him to return.

Once again thankyou for the help .

CaZ

Question regarding my nephew

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