RE: Should Parents With Genetically...............

by ladonna 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • ladonna
    ladonna

    Hi All,

    I am after a little input on something.
    I am wondering what your thoughts are on parents not preventing pregnancies from occurring when they have already produced a child or children with a genetic defect???

    Is it fair or even moral to bring a child into the world when you have already proven that one or both parents genes are defective. I am speaking here of children that suffer and will not live normal life spans.

    I personally could not do this. I would love a defective child if I gave birth to one, but I definitely would not be so cruel as to go and have another, even if the risk is only 1 in 4.

    I am amazed at the amount of people who deliberately do this and use the excuse "I didn't think I would fall pregnant"
    I know someone personally who has done this and the subject actually gets me a little riled up. I just wonder when selfishness ends and the ability to rationalize a situation like this becomes a genuine need for thought and discussion amongst parents.

    Sad for the children

    Any input most welcome,
    Ana

    edited for typo's...should be sleeping !

  • dedalus
    dedalus

    My brother-in-law has multiple genetic defects, the details of which aren't important. What is important is that he's an individual with as legitimate an existence as everyone else. He has personality, character, intelligence, emotions, all of which are expressed differently. It takes a lot of effort and time to sustain him, and to get to know him, something I'm still doing.

    What strikes me as immoral is the suggestion that his parents behaved immorally by bringing him into this world. Frankly, I think most people who use the word "immoral" don't know what the hell they mean by it, anyway.

    Dedalus

  • dedalus
    dedalus

    Post Script -- I just reread your post and saw that your original question is more nuanced that the one I imagined you asked. That makes my answer somewhat irrelevant. Sorry!

    Dedalus

  • ladonna
    ladonna

    Dedalus,

    I think maybe you misunderstand my post. I would gladly take care and love a child of my own with numerous defects.

    What I am asking is "would it be right for me to keep pro-creating with full knowledge of what I was doing"? With todays technology.

    Ana

  • Hojon
    Hojon

    IMO, no they shouldn't have children. Obviously the degree of defect matters, if a person has a tendency to have cataracts that's not a big deal and is easily fixed. If it's something like (I am not sure what is a genetically caused disease and what isn't so I'm guessing here) Muscular Dystrophy or some other "severe" defect then I think they should not have children. I wouldn't, and plan to get screened before we start having them.

    For a person to have a child knowing that it's very likely to be born with a condition that will either kill it shortly after it's born, or cause massive physical/mental defects is selfish. The parent's desire to have a child in that case outweighs their concern for the well being of the child and that's not right.

    Of course, IMO having children is mostly a selfish desire anyways (not that that's wrong, I plan to have a couple myself). I think it's a biological drive that manifests itself that way.

  • dedalus
    dedalus

    Ladonna,

    You're right, I did misunderstand your post, or rather, I read it too hastily before replying to it. Again, I apologize, and I hope I didn't imply that you wouldn't love and cherish a genetically disordered child of your own -- I realize that you would.

    In response your topic as I now understand it -- I think there are too many contingencies and qualifications to the scenario you present to make a certain, general statement about the morality of the parents' decision.

    Dedalus

  • Cowboy
    Cowboy

    Sadly enough,I know where Ladonna is coming from.I have friends who have three children-all with pretty major genetic problems.The second one I could understand,they were hoping it would be better,but by the third one it was obvious that they should not be having more kids.
    It is not the childrens fault,and it is so sad that they will have to face a world that is hard enough for everyone much less with the problems they have.

    'Nuff Said
    Cowboy

  • bitter mango
    bitter mango

    hi ana! good question.

    if i already had a child who was born with birth defects and there is even a little chance that a second child would have defects as well, i wouldn't become pregnant again. don't get me wrong, this has nothing to do with the responsibilities, etc., just a chid's health and welfare. i would love the first child more than anything, regardless of any defects.

    if i really wanted another child, i would definatly look into adoption.

    peace, mango

    i know the pieces fit because i watched them fall away...

  • MrMoe
    MrMoe

    Huh... I suppose it is all in how you look at it. I have mixed feeling on that one. It is more or less and ethical choice. I think it would depend on the condition. I know a good friend who has a degenrative muscle disease who got a snip-snip so that he would not have children that could suffer from his affliction. Having children is not a right. My personal feelings: If I had a condition I may choose not to have children out of love--so that my children do not suffer. Hereditary baldness is a far cry from degenerative dehabilitating diseases that cripple and inflict pain/suffering, such as the poor babies born HIV positive.

  • ladonna
    ladonna

    Thanks all,

    You have all made very valid points.

    Dedalus....that's ok....it's easy to skim a post.

    I was speaking as I believe all of you understand : A child that has "serious" defects....eg...rare conditions that can only result in early death of the child and cannot be helped my medicine.

    I could not, as Mango said, out of love do this to a child.

    But of course this is a personal decision. I as a mother find it quite emotionally disturbing.

    Hojon,

    To have screening done is extremely mature.....I wish it was around when I was giving birth. Fortunately I have not had a child with defects.

    Ana

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