Why stay married to a JW?

by kid-A 28 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  misspeaches

  my wife told me to basically stop talking. i tried, i really did.

  Tetra my friend. I'm so sorry.
• 

  atypical

  Personally, I try hard not to resent my wife for being a jw, because I am the one who has changed since we got married. Originally, we were both active in the religion. As much as I now understand and don't agree with the organization, I try to remind myself that I can't expect everyone to change with me at my pace. We have done very well so far, with just a couple bumps. I found out early not to try to force her to agree with me, just let her figure things out at her own speed(good advice I got on this board). Besides, the major problem I have with the jws is exactly that; they want to force everyone to think a certain way without allowing for individuality.

  We even discussed it at one point; my wife said she would not give me a hard time about staying home from the meetings, and all she asks is that I give her the same consideration and do not make it hard for her to go. I thought that was reasonable. I'm just mostly worried that the brothers will try to take the "he's endangering your spirituality" tack with her, but it hasn't happened yet. I think maybe one reason we are doing ok is that my wife has immediate family who left the organization in their teens, and she refuses to believe that they will be killed in armageddon. The fact that she is willing to believe differently than what the society says is encouraging to me.

  I can't speak for everyone else, but I definitely have no desire to get out of my marriage even though she is an active jw. Time will tell whether or not it works out, but we have a good relationship even with this huge difference.
• 

  Darth Yhwh

  The fact that she is willing to believe differently than what the society says is encouraging to me.

  Very encouraging, indeed. Most drones don't question the WBTS period. The fact that your wife thinks outside of their box is fantastic.
• 

  jgnat

  One big difference I've noticed is that hubby and I talk a lot and negotiate a lot. My involvement on JWD is no secret. He LIKES the energetic banter.
• 

  twinflame

  There is an elder in my hall whose wife is an "unvbeliever" He talks about her all the time in his talks.

  This is deplorable! If I ever had an inkling that happened with me, I would go ballistic. I'd have to really give him something to talk about.
• 

  kiddotan

  I guess, it's different for everyone and life's pretty uncomfortable and not fun alot of the time. My parents are'nt JW they have been together for 32 years with no religon, but some of that time has been hell. I quit my marriage on a lot less than they went through. 2 different people living together will never be 100% wonderful in anyway.

  My partner is a JW. I just tell we have to make the most of this time, cause i won't be around after the end of time stuff.

  I belong to Riding Clubs, play Netball. I take him along to all social events. I am learning to Negoitate
• 

  jgnat

  I brought up this thread to hubby last night. He asked, "Did you tell them about the rest of your baggage?" I laughed. It's true. I'm surrounded by crazy people.

  Hubby has had two sleepless nights after my son confessed that he knifed somebody completely unprovoked. Now, my schizophrenic son is remorseful, but he also can't explain what set it off. I suggested he stop carrying a knife, but he says "It's too useful." Now hubby's asking how much it would cost to buy a metal detector.

  Compared to all that, tackling the WTBTS is a walk in the park.
• 

  googlemagoogle

  my wife told me to basically stop talking. i tried, i really did.
  
  same here, buddy.
  
  actually works, i don't talk much about religion with anyone anymore, only within a very small "circle of trust".
  
  every month or two i have to endure a nervous breakdown of my wife though... which is pretty hard, but well. as long as it's only once a month...
  
  luckily i've managed to not go to bookstudy and field service anymore. she neither. that's not a bad compromise. although i'd really love to skip the rest too. but doesn't always work...
• 

  24k

  Atypical:

  I'm just mostly worried that the brothers will try to take the "he's endangering your spirituality" tack with her, but it hasn't happened yet.

  Your kidding, right?