Elder Abuse and Special Committees

by twinflame 17 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • twinflame
    twinflame

    I thought I would share an experience from the congregation I was assosiated with in Utah. About 17 years ago I caught my 15-year-old stepson molesting my 3-year-old daughter. Of course, the first action taken was to call the elders. A couple of the kind brothers showed up and asked a lot of questions about the incident and they decided that the best action would be that he would not be allowed around young children at the Hall any longer. The general tone from one of the elders was that perhaps he molested her because he was forbidden by his father to masturbate, essentially blaming us for the act. Since this instruction came from WT teachings, I was livid. There was no comfort given and no mention was made about reporting it to the authorities. They felt they had handled it and my role was to work on forgiveness towards the boy and keep a better eye on things at home. I might mention that in this area, the elders were even more opinionated than the norm and treated people on the whole, very badly with little recourse.

    I refused to allow the boy to live in our house any longer and insisted on going to the police along with taking my daughter to a doctor for an examination. The examination showed that this was not an isolated incident but had been going on for some time. Utah was pretty backwards at the time and during the first meeting, even the police chief suggested to me that perhaps the boy needed a hug from his mom after undergoing such an ordeal and feeling so bad. I was not real receptive to that invitation and stood my ground and said I wanted him out of my home, no matter what it took. Long story short, he was placed in a foster home and we paid child support for the next couple of years as he bounced from one home to another and in and out of juvenile detention for a variety of things. As a side note, in spite of the minimal amount of counseling he had while in State custody, to this day he still shows no remorse for his actions and blames his dad for not allowing him to masturbate. I wonder where he got that idea....

    In the meantime, I fell into my first JW bout of deep depression and could not figure out how to forgive him for the act, especially after finding out he had also been abusing our 5-year-old daughter. I was continually made to feel like I was weak spiritually because I was unable to forgive him for what he did. I felt like a very bad person. The rogue elders continued to treat the 'flock' very harshly and when the CO came for his next visit, many members, my husband and I included, went to him with complaints of harsh treatment over a multitude of incidents. There was a lot of nodding of the head and pseudo-empathy, but nothing ever came of it.

    Over a year went by and we tried again with the next CO. This one took notice and the next thing we knew, a special committee was formed by elders from all over the state. Secret meetings and interviews were held for weeks. It was the most exciting event I ever saw in all my years as a JW. There was an elder body of about 10-12 and all were removed except 1-2, along with several of the MS. They actually had to import some elders from other places and brought in an old time special pioneer to serve as the new PO. Of course it wasn't long before the new PO brought his own set of partialities and prejudices, but that's another story.

    A couple of years later, we found out that 2 of our sons and a nephew were being abused by an MS in our congregation that we thought was a close family friend. Yeah, too close. My husband was an elder then and took the brother to the other elders. He was removed from being an MS and that was the extent of it. I still beat myself up for not reporting it to the police but was convinced by the elders that it was best handled internally; assured that it would not happen again. I feel like such a fool now, and now that my sons are grown they rightly feel resentment towards the JWs for handling things like that eternally. I shudder to think how many more young boys that man molested.

    It's been almost 7 years since I first started to fade and I keep asking myself why I can't let go of all this and heal. I can't help but wonder if it's even possible. I know that KHs across the country are full of stories like this and it just makes me sick. I wish that I could just let go.....

  • coolhandluke
    coolhandluke

    Letting go is the hardest part. You have a right to be angry. I would be. That said, you have a long commitment to something that at least at one point in your life you believed to be your salvation. That is a powerful feeling that cannot be easily disconnected. When ready, you will just jump. Then the answers and such will come on their own, just by you pushing forward.

    CHL

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee
    I keep asking myself why I can't let go of all this and heal.

    I see two separate and yet intertwined issues here.

    1. The abuse of your children
    2. Mishandling of the situation by those in the WTS with authority.


    1. You have every right to be angry about what was done to your children. You bear no responsibility ofr the problems the stepson had once he left your home. The demand for forgiveness is unrealistic. There are many issues involved here. You did everything you could to protect your children. Recovery and treatment of sexual abuse issues was still in its infancy 15-20 years ago. You may find the book Families in Recovery by Beverly Engel helpful.
    2. The second issue - the elders and others - can be harder. You know, when we trust someone to protect us and they fail to do that and then insist the problem is ours instead of their actions (or inactions) we naturally get no satisfaction or resolution for the problem at hand. Those in authority really did nothing that was of real help. Removing a MS from hus position does not stop him from moving on to others. People here have said that many of these abusers became very friendly with mothers who had children and no JW role models. They would encourage the child to go out on service or say they would study with them - all to gain access and trust to yet another victim.

    All of this leaves you with no real support and left with a lot of anger. Something that a lot of people have done is write a letter to those who have hurt you. The letter is not to be sent. It is for your recovery.

    In the letter (each one separate or one to all) include 4 points

    • This is what happened - describe in detail what happened
    • This is how I felt about it then - in detail how you felt
    • This is how I feel now - in detail how you still feel about this
    • This is what I want/need now - be very specific about what you need to help you feel better

    When you are finished the letter put it away for a few days. Take it out and read it again. Make any changes (add some new aspects or delete others). Then put it away again for another few days. Keep doing this until there are no more changes and you have said exactly what you needed to say.

    Than and only then you can decide what you want to do with the letter. At this point you may decide to mail the letter. But you may also decide that it doesn't matter anymore. Or anything in between (I did this exercise once andit took me 6 months of rewrites before I felt it was "right". (My first draft was 33 pages but I narrowed it down to about 6) Then I decided to meet with the person and had her read it in front of me. After she read it she realized finally what she had done and how it affected me. She could not deny it and didn't even try. I walked away from this feeling good about myself. I had finally confronted an abuser face to face in a way they could not deny.

    This process can be used for any kind of hurt that we have experienced. And we can also use it even if the person has died or we have no idea where they are. The healing comes from the writing not the presentation.

  • GoingGoingGone
    GoingGoingGone

    (((((((((((twinflame)))))))))))))

    I can't even imagine what it must have been like for you to discover that your children were being sexually abused. Absolutely cannot imagine.

    I was continually made to feel like I was weak spiritually because I was unable to forgive him for what he did. I felt like a very bad person.

    One thing I do know, is that you cannot keep blaming yourself. It's not your fault. You were a victim, too.

    Hang in there.....

    GGG

  • twinflame
    twinflame

    Thank you Lady Lee, for your suggestion. I think I have read about this method before but have never drug myself up far enough to actually do something about it. Isn't it amazing how easy it is to wallow and not take action. I suppose my first step is to identify who I would address the letters to. After 20+ years and so many painful memories, it will take some digging around.

    I know I am but one of tens of thousands who share the same experiences and I admire those who have been able to move on. When I first left I spent a lot of time talking to others but then stopped, thinking I was done. After coming here, it reminds me that all is not forgotten and I'm not sure if I'm not healed or just reopening new wounds.

    I feel I should be at the point of helping others but sometimes find myself almost back at the beginning. I've wondered if one is actually able to put it behind them when they live with an active JW and the constant reminders that accompany that, but I think I have seen others here who have overcome that hurdle and adjusted. Must be the old 'what's wrong with me' mentality that is so hard to shake.

  • DannyHaszard
  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee
    Must be the old 'what's wrong with me' mentality that is so hard to shake

    The WTS reinforces this whole idea that it is US and not THEM. It's part of the programming. And yes it is hard to shake.

    But the more you know (keep reading in here especially The Best OF section of the board) and the more you talk the less you will feel those old chains

  • outoftheorg
    outoftheorg

    TF you mentioned helping others. Helping others is an old and approved method of healing ones self in a variety of situations.

    With a still active jw in the family it is a touchy and difficult thing to do.

    One way you can help others is to participate in this forum and use your experiences with the jw's to help others that come here with more or less the same problems you have lived through.

    I would recommend that you stay around and become a useful, helpful, person helping those who need help and come to this forum.

    That way no one other than you have to know what you are doing at this time and as you grow more and more confident in yourself you can maybe make use of your new knowledge to help your husband and family.

    Outoftheorg

  • bythesea
    bythesea

    Hugs to you!!!!!!!!!!!!! ((((((((((((((((((((twinflame)))))))))))))))))))))) What a horrendous ordeal to have had to go through, and when you aren't able to put it behind you then you are, in effect, STILL going through it.

    You have every right to feel anger, and to express it safely here, for what happened to your children, and also for the betrayal by your elder body in handling this correctly. Lady Lee has good suggestions....the letters can be an effective way to help heal. I did a ton of research on sexual abuse/molestation when my bible study's husband was accused of molesting their young teenage daughter. I attended 3 mos. of very informative classes on sexual predators and now realize, as do so many of us, that our congregations have been harboring them for a long time! Its sickening and disgraceful....and I'm so very sorry that your children, and you, were victims of these men.

    Please continue to post here...let us be a safe place to vent, and to receive our love and support to you. You WILL get past this....it will just take some time. Hang in there.

    bythesea

  • Soledad
    Soledad

    Twinflame I am so sorry what an ordeal! The very first sentence of your post shook me, made me stop and take notice. I gasped in horror!

    I can't even imagine what this has done to you and your children. Can't even picture it.

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