Hi
Several month ago I finally got up the courage to speak to my parents about the reasons I left the Borg. Up until then things were brewing up inside me to the point where I thought I would explode in rage.
Even though they were aware of the basic reasons they still had no idea about how angry I was.
Friday afternoon I started by asking my mother that I would like to arrange a meeting between the 2 of them and my wife and I to discuss the 'T'. I didn't want to get into detail at this stage because it would be unfair on just her without my elder Dad being there. Also my wife is much more diplomatic than myself and we had already decided to let her do most of the talking.
Things deteriorated straight away however as my mother and I became more heated and agitated. We were both upset.
The next morning Saturday I rang to ask when could we meet as a foursome. My mother refused to answer her phone so I rang Dad's mobile. He said they don't want a meeting, there is nothing to discuss and Mum is very upset. I could hear her in the background and could tell that she was as upset as me. However I kept on and explained how upset I was and I really need to just discuss things. Dad eventually capitulated but said we can't meet today as they are going shopping to get foodstuffs for a JW couple they had invited over that evening. It couldn't be tomorrow Sunday morning as, guess what, they were going to the meeting and neither in the afternoon as, guess what, they were going on the service. It would have to wait till next week.
I came off the phone and was upset that they were still going to put all that before their family . My exact point.
My wife was having none of it and promptly rang back and said we have to have the meeting asap. They agreed to that afternoon.
I took my Big Red File of quotes from the CD-Rom that I always keep handy. (It's a mini version of the old Quotes website but only from the CD). I wanted to leave it with them to read but of course they stated straight away that they wouldn't read it . (Even though it is all from the Watchtower with nothing added.)
I did manage to read one quote and that was Blondie's favourite W89 1st Sept, only JW's have any hope of surviving Armageddon. This was after the usual 'the Society have never said that'.
Lots of things were brought up. One thing my mother said was ' Do you want me to leave my religion? Is that what you want?' I said it's up to you of course what you want to believe but I just want you to know why I have left. Being their son I felt I had a right to tell them. I said I know it's not easy to say or listen to but that's the way it is.
As the blood issue was what directly lead to me deciding I couldn't take it any longer we did discuss this issue at some length.
I brought up about the Society saying that organ transplants were until 1980 viewed as cannibalism. She didn't believe me. She didn't want to believe me.
'They never said that'
'Do you want me to show you the quote from the WT?'
'No'
We explained what actually happened the night my wife was rushed back into the operating theatre and how the blood issue was involved. By this time the conversation was calmer and more respecful than the day before as they were finally able to see how I had been affected.
I said 'Dad. You know how upset you both were last night and today? That's what I've been like for the past 3 years'
Dad finally acknowledged how I felt when I said;
'Dad, imagine Mum had needed a heart transplant in 1979. You check with the Society and they say 'No it is cannibalism'. Mum dies. 1980 it's now ok. Too late though. How would you feel towards them?. Well that goes some way to explain how I feel towards the WTS'
The conversation went on for a couple of hours but it was left on a feeling of mutual respect.
They said they would try to be more aware of my feelings with regard all things JW and we will all try and move forward as a family.
All in all I have to say it was the best thing I've done. I spoke to my mother a few weeks later about it and said ' I know it wasn't easy for you to listen to but I appreciate you listening'
Ever since the meeting I have felt a massive sense of relief. I am nowhere near as angry as I was before. It was getting to the point where all I could talk about was my anti JW stance. Now I am much more at ease with myself.
Before, whenever I would read about JW stuff in the news and here on this site I would be boiling with anger inside. ( Now I'm just simmering).
I know everyone is different but for me talking to my parents about my reasons for leaving was the best thing for my health and well being I've done.
Thanks for listening
Thomas Covenant