I have received a few PMs on what our status is, so I figured I would enlighten.
It's been an exciting couple of weeks for both of us. Scary sometimes, sad sometimes, but also lots of happiness and excitement for what is to come. Sometimes we will be cracking jokes about the JWs, and then other times we are paranoid, then other times we are just sad - especially after some of our JW friends come over to visit.
We continue to talk about a lot of stuff, and I am still stuck in my old habits and tend to still be a little secretive - even though I really don't have any secrets anymore. I'm working on it though.
I enjoy seeing my wife seem to grow more assertive and more self-confident. I mean, she wasn't lacking in self-confidence at all really - but I guess her self-confidence has changed in some even more positive ways (if that makes sense). She is also so good at research - like a shark at feeding time. Sometimes she will just be relaxing on the couch, and 5 minutes later she has a couple Bible Interlinears out, and a bible and some WT publication. I am so amazed (and happy).
I have learned that my wife had been doing ALOT of research after finding some of my 607 BC stuff laying around. She had already come to many many conclusions on her own before I even told her how I felt about the JWs. Additionally, with some JW family stress it really made the leap for her a little easier. My wife does have a strong and sincere mind, and she had been reading alot of books about female empowerment - for the last year or so. It turns out the sexist nature of the Society has really bothered her for quite some time.
There is still a lot of unknowns. In some ways I feel like the "net" is gone. A couple months ago when we were still supposedly a JW family, I knew that being in this religion kept my wife from going anywhere - even if I was turning into a non-communicative reclusive jerk. I know that sounds bad, but it was a nice protection for our family while I was trying to figure out how to approach her with this stuff.
Now ... all that is gone and we are having to reconstruct a new relationship of trust from scratch. It is kind of scary knowing that we are doing this on our own. I don't really have any plans to go buck wild, and I don't think my wife does either, but it is just the "great unknown" that is scary. I guess like last week's LOST episode .... it is just going to have to be a "leap of faith". I believe my wife still loves me very much, and I love her sooo much too. I feel that combined with honesty and genuineness will go a long way.
I have showed my wife JWD. I showed her one of Blondie's WT Study articles. I haven't shown her my posts - or even that I have an account on JWD. Mostly that is because there are a couple of things in some entries that I haven't told her yet.
I may have said this in a previous entry, but she has recently found some of her friends from her teenage years that have "faded" and that has helped her to have someone to talk to. I hope that if she becomes a member of JWD that she can find the same kind of solace here that I did. Maybe?
Right now our house is up for sale and we are just going to concentrate on that for now. We need to get out of town.
The bills continue to come in, and the regular stresses of life are still there. There is no real magic pill for that. However, it is so nice that as a couple we don't feel the guilt of not making all the meetings,field service, etc. It makes facing some of the other stuff a little better (in my opinion anyways).
I don't know if my wife has noticed, but even though I am absolutely disgusted with the Society I still tend to act like a JW husband sometimes. It is just a gradual thing to get out of that kind of attitude I hope. I need to ask her more about that. I would often shirk stuff around the house just because I could I guess. I need to change that.
All in all things are pretty okay. My wife is already making plans to go to a gym in our new town, and even do (gasp!) yoga.
I hope to introduce her to this list soon. She can probably clarify a lot of my posts about her. Who knows? I might have been 180-degrees off on alot of my opinions of how she was feeling about things I told her.
-ithinkisee