OOPS. I didnt mean to post this in relationships, so here goes again. I dont get me. I have been faded, and successfully so I thought for many many years. but it seems now lately, within the last year, I have so much anger and issues related to being raised a dub. Things I missed out on, things that happened to me, hurt pain frustration I went through. Why now after so many years, I dont get it?
Successfully faded, and anger issues now many years later
by Netty 19 Replies latest members private
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Gadget
I've got a clean break, I was df'd, tried to get reinstated but decided not to. I've got so much anger, and want to find a vent for it. At least I got a few parting shots, for someone to fade they must keep everything bottled and must be so much harder for them.
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Satanus
It seems that the anger doesn't go away. If it's not dealt w and released somehow, it remains, and settles. So, now you have a chance to unpack it all and discuss it. I think it's healthy to do that, as hidden anger does have effects on the heart, and some other areas of the body. Many xjws have gone for therapy to help w this.
I have pretty well gone through my anger at the wt stage, since coming on board. However, i have issues that come from my parents that are harder to deal w. Therapy beckons.
S
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Netty
Satanus (gee was gonna abbreviate but then you would just be Satan I should have clarified, that is where my anger/resentment/frustration is directed at, my parents not the society at all, its all at my parents.
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Satanus
Netty
Satan would be ok. It's english, satanus is latin.
There are some books like 'toxic parents' by susan forward and some by john bradshaw, and 'trauma and recovery' by judith herman that get into this. But, at least for me, it's tough to do by myself.
S
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Netty
Thank you Satan, yikes that feels weird! I am thanking Satan, spooky!
I will look into those two books.
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Corvin
Netty, I am so happy that I am no longer in the organization. I feel so free and liberated. But I can tell you that I still have some anger issues as well over a couple things. I can only hope that once the kids are grown and safely from the reach of the org and their JW mother's fanatical clutches, I will rest and the anger will diminish in mere zephyrs blowing through my emotional states of mind. Hang in there.
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Netty
Hi Corvin, I think raising children, as you are, has alot to do with the anger coming up. As I live through their experiences, it makes me reflect on when I was their age, and I think to myself how could my parents have put me through that. I look at my innocent, shy, mild little boy and think for Christ sake at his age in school I was having panic attacks every single day, because as the class stood up to salute the flag I would have to sit on my butt like a fool, but the worst part was the anxiety that I would be questioned and put on the spot and have to "defend" my faith. As I was taught and trained and practiced these things at home, at the same time we were being taught that one day we would have to defend our faith and things might happen to us like happened to the jews in the concentration camps, torture, family being killed right before your eyes. etc. but we would have to still defend. THings were way more fanatical when I was being rasied a jw, in the 70's and early 80's. There are plenty more examples like that one, but I mean as I live through my childrens expereinces now, it brings up anger issues towards my parents.
Will be nice for you, when you no longer have to deal with a jdub being involved in the raising of your children. I cant imagine the frustration you mus go through. You hang in there too!
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blondie
Netty, Susan Forward's books are excellent. I can see them on my bookshelf now. I re-read them at least once a year. They have helped me deal with my feelings regarding my parents abuse of me and my siblings. I had a great deal of anger that was eating me up.
We had alcohol issues as well and I attended Al-Anon and eventually ACOA (Adult Child of Alcoholics) meetings.
I can say that I am anger free now. I am glad that I am free now, free at last.
Blondie
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johnathanseagull
Netty
Maybe I'm in the same boat as you, I was d'fed many many years ago, complete clean break, never really gave it a second thought, until just over two years ago, when I decided to type "watchtower" in google.....I was astounded to say the least, since then, I've immersed myself in "on line" information......yes admittedly, I've had some not very nice "flashbacks" particularly with regards to shunning and all the anger that follows, but all in all, this on line community has helped me get rid of those ghosts from the past, and I'm very grateful indeed.
Jgull