What do you teach your kids when you no longer believe the lie?

shotgun

If you have children what do you teach them when religiously the home is divided?

If one mate teaches about paradise, Jehovah, Satan and to shun wordly association as truths should the other mate (ME) offset this and totally confuse the child.

Recently I heard a JW say Christmas was not for christians because it is not honest. To teach that Santa Clause was real and later for children to find out he is not destroys their trust in parents and can also lead to them questioning everything including the existence of God.

Now I know that is a stupid comparison which the JW's use to justify their position because the same pattern could be applied to all those who later learn almost everything the WT taught is untrue.

The problem is I don't want to teach my child something which I know is not true but do to my circumstances it's difficult not to.

What did or what are many of you who have children and live in split belief home's doing?

Especially the ones trying to fade or trying to hold weak family ties together?

I try to instill in my child love, caring and respect without the paradise carrot. The wife uses all the tools provided by the unfaithful and indiscreet slave class.

morty

((((((((((((((Shotgun)))))))))))))))) sorry that your in this situation......

I was lucky enough that when mom and dad left the "troof" they bailed out together....I am sorry I have no advice for you on this matter, but maybe another poster might be able to shed some light on it for you...

My only advice for you is, to love your kids, uncondituionally....They will have all the respect in the world for you in the end...

chin up my friend....

Morty

Nosferatu

Well, I'll tell you what happened with my parents for the longest time. My mother would beat Bible Principles into me, while my father would tell me not to listen to my mother. It seemed as though my parents were allways pulling me back and forth (they still do till this day). My dad, at the time, seemed to be more loving since he didn't beat me if I didn't choose his way.

My suggestion is to let the kids know that they have the option of making their own choice. I'm not sure how old your kids are, but you might want to get them to gain trust in you and be truthful. Ask them if they have a crush on anyone at school. Since you're not the JW parent, you're not going to council them for doing so. They'll feel more comfortable telling you their deeper secrets that they aren't supposed to have according to the WTS. You can give them an outlet for this instead of them keeping it all inside.

Just my 3 cents.

Odrade

Shotgun, your child will know you don't believe the same as Mom. You might consider telling your kid, "Daddy doesn't believe quite that way." Leave the serious discussion till later when they are older. The best thing you can do is to teach your kid to be a logical and critical thinker, expose them to arts, culture, different ideas and philosophies. If your kid has a specific interest or hobby, help to pursue it as much as they want to.

"Allow" (read, encourage) extra-curricular activities. Just make sure your child is as well-rounded and thinking as possible. Then the kid will be able to resist the indoctrination. When the time is right, you'll get all the questions.

One other thing though, If it were my kid, I would try and get your wife to cut the particularly offensive pictures out of the bible story book. I know of several faithful party-line dubs who have done this because the pictures gave the kids nightmares. You can express to your wife that she doesn't have to scare your child in order to teach.

Just some ideas, I'm sure the parents here will have plenty more...

Odrade

czarofmischief

I would encourage the child to pursue the things they are naturally good at.

Teach them natural selection theory. Teach them about the universe. Teach them about science.

Tell them stories. Just spend time with them. Be the one that they can trust. Let the other parent be the heavy.

Time will tell, but I don't think that dubdom has much longer to stand on... I hope, for your sake.

CZAR

Scully

So, according to JW Logic?, if a person celebrates Christmas and tells their children about Santa Claus and Christmas, they are being dishonest. If you extend that JW Logic? buying and reading ALL works of fiction - from Dr. Seuss to Tolkein to Clive Cussler - would be viewed as supporting liars.

Perhaps a better way to teach them the truth about The Truth? (you might want to refer to the Quotes website for research purposes, without letting Mrs Shotgun know) is to REALLY study the WTS publications with your children.

A good topic to start with is Theocratic War Strategy?.

Love, Scully

shotgun

My child is only three so I do not get into anything too deep.

Still the WT indoctrination starts immedietly and even small children retain so much from these young learning years.

Thanks for all the tips.

Scully

shotgun

Perhaps a strategy you could invoke with Mrs Shotgun could be that exposing your child to various points of view will help them know how to appeal to others with The Truth? when they are old enough to do so. Kind of like when Paul said "To the Romans I became as a Roman, to the Jews, as Jew" and so forth.

Of course, when you expose a child to various points of view, they also become tolerant and more compassionate of others as well, rather than a self-righteous and judgemental JW, which will help him/her immensely in a year or so when it's time to start school. It also makes them more likely to think about what others believe and compare those differing beliefs to what they are being taught at the KH, which will be useful later in life when your child is in a position to choose for him or herself. But your wife doesn't need to know that just yet.

Love, Scully

Nosferatu

Still the WT indoctrination starts immedietly and even small children retain so much from these young learning years.

The thing is, young children tend to ask very good questions. I remember one that I asked on the blood issue. When I was losing my baby teeth I inquired about the blood that came from a removed tooth and the possibility of swallowing it. I asked "Will I die at armageddon if I swallow the blood". I was told "No, that is different".

I also remember (around age 7) my mother told me that this system of things won't be around for another 5 years. That stuff just doesn't leave your brain.

Lady Lee

Some good suggestions here.

I think being honest with your child and still being respectful of the other parent is a good possibility.

I think telling a young child that "Mommy believes with her whole heart that her way of soerving God is right. Other people believe just as strongly that their way is right.. I believe there is some right and some wrong in everything. And our job is to try to learn as much as we can about those beliefs. As you grow you will learn about many different things - mommy's beliefs, some beliefs from the kids at school, other things on TV and some of my beliefs. You will learn what works for you."

Saying this in words appropriate for the age and understanding of the child of course. If you have strong beliefs - share them with the reminder that no one really knows how right they are about God and things like that regardless of how convinced they are that they are right.

As for the JW in the house - well if they are so right then exposing your child to other beliefs should help them see the truth - Right? So therefore there would be nothing for them to fear by allowing the child to learn.

I sent my girls to school in Quebec (Canada). There moral and religious instruction is mandatory. The course is more about respect and understanding of varous beliefs and is not about indoctrination. Appeal to respect and the power of truth with the JW parent. That makes it a bit hard for them to object too strenuously.

Well unless the child is clearly seeing the real truth and going in some other direction.

What do you teach your kids when you no longer believe the lie?

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