Do you ever feel stupid?

by Sassy 22 Replies latest members private

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  Sassy

  Its funny because when I was a active JW, I never even thought of it 'not being the only way'. You sacrifice living a normal life, fitting in in school, missing proms and parties and all the things normals kids do growing up because you 'can't do that'. But you do it because it is the right thing. Or as an adult, you try to raise your children to think this is the 'right course' and put them on this same dysfunctional path. But we were all doing what we were suppposed to do right?

  Now that I am out and away, a conversation will roll into religion or beliefs and since I haven't figured out what I will believe, I start to answer the old 'familiar answer' (i.e. I think 'xxx happens when you die') but then i stop myself and rephrase by saying, well I USED to believe or JWS believe and explain it that way. But because none of it makes sense any more by the time I am done with a conversation the person I am talking with looks at me like all of that thinking is ludicrous, and I find myself thinking, yeah it does.

  So here I am an adult and finding myself feeling crazy that I fell for all of this for so long and feel 'stupid'. Why does something seem so plain and clear as NOT the way, when for all my life it seemed so? How can I feel I am a fairly intelliegent person and yet lived my life with valueless sacrifices for nothing?

  I feel like I am beating myself up over it in a way. Is this natural?
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  Phantom Stranger

  Beating oneself up may be normal. It's not natural - we all learn to do it.

  Look forward. What are you doing now? What do you want to create in the world? You're not dead yet - the more you look forward, the less you feel bad about the mast - and we all did the best we knew at the time.
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  shotgun

  It natural...I hope so anyway because there have been many days when I say how could I have been so stupid.

  My natual inclination is to over examine things ...yet I didn't do that to dub teachings.

  Then I think of the people that blow themselves up for a cause they have been taught and think at least I didn't do that.
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  shamus

  It is so natural, sns. I posted the exact same thing some time ago... it was called feeling ashamed.

  It's okay to feel this way; it's traumatic to go through what we all have and believe the lies... that we are better than everyone else... that we will live forever wheras everyone else are corpses... it's hard not to feel emberassed after all is said and done.

  The way that I turn these feelings around is when they say something negative about witnesses and when they come to the door, just tell them that you're sorry. Tell them that you used to be one of them, and that not all are meaning to be that way.

  When the light finally hits, they will probably be in the same boat that you are. Please don't beat yourself up too much; think of the future and what you are going to do to correct your wrongs at every opportunity! That is what life is all about, friend.
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  Stacy Smith

  People don't become JW"s because they are stupid. It's because they allowed their emotions to overrule their brains. You aren't thinking when you sign up. If you were you would have done the research ahead of time. Most do the research after things stop making sense.

  The dubs weave a good fairy tale. It's only when you've been around while do you discover the truth. Anyone can buy into it. But once you buy in there's no easy way out.

  Then there are those of us who had it force fed. I'm one who honestly never was a believer. Not once.
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  shamus

  Stacy,

  That is an excellent statement about how ppl fall into "the truth"! Holy crap, that explains it 100 percent! Exacly how I got trapped in it!

  Jeez, you are becoming one of my favorite posters!
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  mineralogist

  Now i feel real stupid! Why did i not look into these sites some time ago?

  Mind control prevented from doing it.
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  simplesally

  I think I still feel that when you die you are dead, conscious of nothing. That's what made me start looking to JW's because I did not believe in the immortality of the soul. Now that I don't really believe in Armegeddon or a paradise earth, I feel so much futility, so impotent. Feeling that life is so short and I got cheated somehow --- even though everyone dies, I guess I feel so sad to know that life will go on, I will be completely out of existence and miss seeing oodles of grandchildren and the near future. Most of us don't live to be 100 --- so that really puts a limit on our time left.
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  morty

  Sns,

  Dont belive that your a stupid person...Your not! You are a very intelligent lady...You were taught to think this way.....Thats why you acted the way you did...The dubs brain washed us to think that way....Yes it is easy to beat up on ones self,but know you have seen the light and that is what counts...I will say though,that once you get out, you wonder what the hang were we thinking to indulge such bs.....
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  franklin J