Recently, I posted my letter to the body of elders, totally and irrevocably stepping aside
as one of them, and rejecting their offer of assistance to get back in line with the organization.
That was the last real communication I had with my BOE. I have seen the men since then,
but have only been asked about the weather, or if I could clean the toilets in the Kingdom Hall.
Then I stopped going altogether to the hall more than 6 months ago, and have still not been
contacted by them. I have wrote how they avoided eating with me at a restaurant gathering.
The secretary includes me in his emails reminding the congregation members to turn in their
field service time (still to this day). But no elders call me. Many of the individuals have called
and continue to want to befriend me, but those calls are dying off.
I posted how my best friend continues to call, and got some opinions on that. He still calls.
Our conversations are mostly the same type as the one I posted, so no point in posting each
of those.
I thought I would now reveal my first letter to the BOE. This was written before the already posted one.
This is the letter that said, "I am done being an elder." It started the fade, using doubt as an excuse.
This letter really summed up my feelings so well. While it leaves room for doubt, there wasn't
any doubt left by the time I delivered it. I thought it might help some of you lurking elders or
men and women trying to summon the courage to take another step toward freedom. Here's the
first letter I sent (with minor editing to be able to deny it's origin).
Dear Brothers, I have carefully and prayerfully considered my path and have come to the following conclusions- I must immediately step down from serving as an elder in the congregation and I ask to be removed from the Theocratic Ministry School and all other responsibilities in the congregation . While keeping up with world events and how they fulfill prophecy, I have always maintained that religious leaders who get involved in sin, should step down from their positions of authority. They may, indeed, be repentant, but they should be humble and allow others to take the lead. The scriptures say that the overseers should be irreprehensible and free from accusation. To better align themselves with the scriptures, I have always felt that adulterers and scheme-makers, along with other sinners, should not be the leaders in a spiritual organization, and their followers should insist upon that. For many years now, it has been the position of the Watchtower organization that an elder involved in secret sins, who has ceased sinning, and has kept his secret for a number of years, can remain in his position as an elder, under certain circumstances. I often felt that this position might encourage an elder to keep quiet instead of coming forward for help. Now this position has been clarified to include elders viewing pornographic materials. I wonder if this position will encourage more brothers to refrain from getting help with their sins, try to keep them quiet for a number of years, then reveal them only to clear a guilty conscience in the future, at a time when they can remain elders. It concerns me that, in most cases, a publisher in similar circumstances would lose privileges and an elder would retain them. Elders are to be given double-honor- they should be held to a higher standard than publishers. It is my feelings that such persons should be humble and step down. The current position concerning sins among the elders, might, in my opinion, encourage secrecy and allow unqualified men to remain on elder bodies. Even though I am not involved in secret sin, I feel that I cannot serve on a congregation's elder body under such conditions. I have also been meditating upon the things I took in at the District Convention. A newer member of the Governing Body was speaking. I knew nothing of Brother [XXX]. When I strove to find out about him, there was also [other brothers] on the Governing Body whom I had never heard of, and the recent deaths of Albert Schroeder and Daniel Sydlik that I had not remembered being mentioned. This caused me to think deeply about my feelings about the elder bodies of congregations. The Governing Body is the elder body of the worldwide congregation, so it would be important to know about these men. The Watchtower, Sept. 15, 1989 makes this reference on p. 21: “Today, we can observe those making up the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses, other anointed overseers, and men of the “great crowd” who take the lead among us. (Revelation 7:9) Although we are not urged to imitate their voice quality, posture, or other human traits, we should be able to make our conduct turn out well by imitating their faith. ” Also note this reference from the Watchtower, Feb. 1, 1984 , p. 19: "A third factor that unites us is that allofusbenefitfromthesamespiritualfeedingprogram. We recognize “the faithful and discreet slave” as the agency that Jehovah is using to provide spiritual food at the proper time. (Matthew 24:45-47) There is no question in our mind that this “slave” is made up of spirit-anointed heirs of the heavenly Kingdom who are found today only among Jehovah’s Witnesses. We appreciate what that “slave” and its Governing Body are doing to care for our spiritual needs. And we thank God for the abundance of fine spiritual provisions we have. (Isaiah 65:13, 14) Are we also taking sufficient time to instill appreciation for this arrangement in persons newly associating with the congregation?” I cannot say that "there is no question in my mind" about a body that I know nothing about. I know of nothing that the rest of the "slave" apart from the Governing Body is doing to care for our spiritual needs. Does the Governing Body keep track of who the spirit-anointed are? Do the "slave" members outside of the Governing Body have a voice on present truths as the light gets brighter? I don't know, and I have found nothing that explains the role of spirit-anointed ones outside of the Governing Body in Theocratic adjustments in present truth. One other important reference I used was the Watchtower, July 1,1965 article, What Is Required to Understand the Bible? Here is one quote from p. 391 : “But in looking to God for his holy spirit we may not overlook God’s manner of imparting his spirit. Not only must we study God’s Word, have the right mental attitude and pray for God’s spirit, but we must recognize God’s visible organization. God is consistent, a God of order, not a God of disorder, even as his Word assures us. (1 Cor. 14:33) He does not impart his holy spirit and an understanding and appreciation of his Word apart from his visible organization.” I don't know if I can find out more about these men than their brief histories, but I am certain that it would be necessary for me, as an elder in a congregation, teaching their understanding of scriptural truths to the publishers, to learn much more about those currently on the Governing Body and their modern-day history. Another paragraph of that Sept. 15, 1989 article goes on to say, “In view of their God-given assignment, they deserve our full cooperation, even as the first-century governing body had the cooperation of the early Christians.” I have no idea how this body is chosen from among the "Faithful and Discreet Slave." I don't know how these men contact the rest of the "Faithful and Discreet Slave" when making important doctrinal adjustments (such as "this generation"), or if they do not do that at all. Further research led to many articles such as this from the Watchtower, Dec. 1, 1981 , p. 27: "No matter where we may live on earth, God's Word continues to serve as a light to our path and a lamp to our roadway as to our conduct and beliefs. (Ps. 119:105) But Jehovah God has also provided his visible organization, his "faithful and discreet slave," made up of spirit anointed ones, to help Christians in all nations to understand and apply properly the Bible in their lives. Unless we are in touch with this channel of communication that God is using, we will not progress along the road to life, no matter how much Bible reading we do." I cannot say I am "in touch with this channel." I do not personally know any members of the "faithful and discreet slave," so my channel of communication would be from the part of the organization known as the Governing Body. I am certain that I, personally, need to learn about these men and the way they work before I can stand on the platform at a Kingdom Hall and share their explanation of deeper truths, as an elder or on the Theocratic Ministry School. The Watchtower, Feb.15, 1981 tells us on p. 19 that, “We should have confidence in the channel God is using.” The Watchtower, June.15, 1957, p. 370 states, “Let us now unmistakably identify Jehovah’s channel of communication for our day, that we may continue in his favor.” Also note the Watchtower, Oct. 1, 1967 , p. 587, “…the Bible cannot be properly understood without Jehovah’s visible organization in mind." (Please read the context of that one to understand how important it is to be able to identify the Theocratic organization used by Jehovah.) Another point that I need to apply to myself is found in the Truth book, p. 13: "We need to examine, not only what we personally believe, but also what is taught by any religious organization with which we may be associated. Are its teachings in full harmony with God's Word, or are they based on the traditions of men?" This would be true of Catholicism or Jim Baker's Ministry, it would be true of the Mormons, and it would be the same for Jehovah's Witnesses. I feel that I have done the congregation a disservice by not keeping in touch with the channel of communication that God is using, not fully examining my religious organization and it's teachings. It is quite possible that my being slightly apart from Jehovah's visible organization has caused his holy spirit along with an understanding and appreciation of his Word to be lacking in me. My meditation on the matter has made me realize that, yes, I could teach clearly stated Bible facts, but teaching deeper truths not directly found in the Bible (ie: 1914, “spirit-anointed” remnant, “this generation”) is a great responsibility. Many of the things that can lead to judicial proceedings are based on doctrines from the Organization (the Governing Body, not the "faithful and discreet slave"), and not from clear violations of God's Law as spelled out in the Bible, gambling or smoking or involvement in politics being some of the most outstanding examples. Note again, The Watchtower, Sept. 15, 1989 on p. 23: “Instead of feeling frustrated by their limitations and treating their counsel lightly, let us appreciate and accept the Bible-based direction of the elders as coming from God.” “Coming from God,” is a weighty responsibility, one that I have not lived up to, and therefore I feel that I am not living up to the directions at Acts 20:28: "Pay attention to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the holy spirit has appointed you overseers, to shepherd the congregation of God, which he purchased with the blood of his own Son." I fear that I may have a personal weakness brought about by focusing too much on secular matters. I miss meetings for work. I also have neglected the ministry on several occasions, with the excuse that I am tired from work, or that I need recreation to recharge myself. Despite the fact that I have studied the Bible, itself, deeper than ever before, this may be due to my not delving deeper into spiritual matters and “knowing” the organization better. On p. 12 of that Sept. 15, 1989 Watchtower, these sobering words had a chilling effect on me: “Since a teacher stands as an instructor before others, they have a right to expect much of him. If an elder should err seriously in his teaching and this causes problems for fellow believers, he comes in line for judgment by God. Yes, teachers ‘shall receive heavier judgment.’ (James 3:1, 2; Matthew 12:36, 37)” The Feb. 1, 1983 Watchtower, p. 14 tells us: “As an example, Paul wrote: 'An overseer must be ... loyal.' Such loyalty is demonstrated by 'holding firmly to the faithful word' as expounded in the publications of Jehovah's modern Christian organization.” This means to me, that I should accept and teach whatever is written in the Watchtower publications because I have every confidence in the men who oversee the publishing. While, as an elder, I have always taught that way, I don't live up to that application of Paul's inspired counsel in my own mind. In other words, I don't fully accept what I teach, making me a hypocrite. Further, our June 1, 2006 Watchtower, p. 29, paragraph 14 stated: “As we allow Jehovah to mold us through our personal study and application of his Word, we gradually put on the new personality. We become more meek and malleable, making it easier for us to stick loyally to Jehovah because we sincerely want to please him.” I have stuck loyally to Jehovah, but otherwise do not feel that I fully apply these words. After the doctrinal understanding of “this generation” was changed in 1995, I have gradually focused my emphasis on retirement and old age in this system of things. This is one of my highest priorities. After years of service as an elder, I don’t feel more meek and malleable, but rather, more rigid. I think of other changes in understanding that might come, and I rigidly believe that young ones today should get an education and have a family if they desire, because we could be in “this system of things” for quite a while. In our more recent study articles, there have been an increased number of comparisons of our day with the days of Noah. If our organization will allow us to reason that we could have up to 120 years (or so) in the last days, I would be 70 years old before that threshold arrived. There was also this scriptural counsel at Hebrews 13:7 to make me realize how important it is for an elder to be held to a higher standard- "Remember those who are taking the lead among you, who have spoken the word of God to you, and as you contemplate how their conduct turns out imitate their faith." I am certain that a spirit-directed body of men would understand that a brother who feels that he no longer measures up to the qualifications for elder, has a duty to step down, and that a brother who has not carefully guarded his heart needs to relinquish his privileges. I will continue to focus my studies on deeper spiritual things such as our current understanding of the last days in which we are living, and I will strive to learn about our organization’s modern history, especially that of the Governing Body. Thank you brothers for your spiritual assistance. Sincerely, OTWO