Fear Factor used to control JW children.it is nothing short of child abuse

by LyinEyes 19 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

• 

  LyinEyes

  I was thinking of this the other day,,,,,,, feeling guilty of putting my kids thru this, even thou it was not my intention at all,,,,,,,all the meetings, all the service , ,, fear was the motivating factor in doing all of the things JW's do every week.

  Five meetings a week JW children are subjected to hearing in graphic detail of how the birds will eat the eyeballs out of those who die in Armeggedon. Then they are told they better keep on the cramped and narrow path or they will end up the same.

  Then they hear all the things God did in the past for those who didnt do what he said,,,,,,,terrified they will be his next victims. My son is 16 and he tells me how he felt. I was shocked that he was that afraid . Being raised JW myself I understood too well what he meant but being a faithful JW , I didnt see it that way until I myself got out from under the JW mind control .

  My own father, used this fear factor on me ,,,,,,, not only in pleasing God , but I had to be totally perfect, obeidant to him or it was if I was hurting God too.

  Every punishment was supposed to be an act of love by my father, and he had the Bible and the WT publications to back him up on it.

  I was afraid of him so much. ANd to this day I still fear Armeggedon even when my logic tells me otherwise.

  I guess being raised this way as a child , I have along way to go to get rid of the fear that invades my thoughts , my dreams and even my subconscience. I am so afraid of things, I don't know how to deal with the fact that some things may happen that are out of my control. I still feel I have to do things a certain way or something bad will happen and it will be my fault. I would to love one day not fear anymore....... but I have only been really out of JW a year and I am still trying to cut the emotional ties that still bind me to them. I stilll fear I might be wrong...... no matter how much I read they lie about, the child abuse,,,,,,,, I still wonder if God is the way I was taught and that I will be destoryed by him. I am not even afraid to not have life,,,,,,,, or the pain of dying, but I do fear displeasing God, even being angry at Him,,,,,,, makes me feel guilty and scared.

  I really think that all cults ,,,, use this fear factor to control the children and the children grow up to be adults who are always afraid,,,,,,,not learning how to trust anyone or even themselves.
• 

  Gopher

  Exactly right. I was raised in it too, so I can verify that fear is a great motivator. Of course they tell you that it is not uncontrollable fear but a "healthy" fear. But as you have documented, in their actions and doctrines, the JW's contradict their teaching of a "healthy" fear.

  Here's a scripture that shows such fear has no part in a loving group of people (be it a religion, or whatever):

  1 John 4:18 -- "There is NO FEAR in love, but perfect LOVE throws fear outside, because fear exercises a restraint. Indeed, he that is under fear has NOT been made perfect in love."
• 

  archangel01

  Me too.That is so true ,just hang in there ok .We are all here for you or at least I am.
• 

  wednesday

  Yes, i remember it well, as a 5 year old telling my cousin how jesus would come riding out of heaven on a white horse with a sword and kill all bad people. She looked at me like i was crazy. To me it seemed perfectly ok. of course at that time i just accepted that somehow i was not one of the "bad people'. later as i grew a bit older, i did feel afraid when i would see the horrible armageddon pics, and hope if i did not make it i would die quickly -but thinking that probably God would make me die slowly and terribly b/c i was bad. Children should not be thinking about such things. Of course, many will say, as my hubby does, that being told u will burn in hellfire frightens just as many or more children.
• 

  A Paduan

  For sure -

  One day mum and dad took kylie and david for a ride to their uncle george's place - on the way mum and dad explained how they must be very, very nice to uncle george - because he is the most powerful and wealthy person they knew, and he was very nice too.

  Sometime after they arrived, uncle george showed kylie and david around the grand castle and told them that all this would be theirs - and then he showed them the dump at the edge of the grounds, where fires burnt, and said "but if you don't please me, then you be discarded and burnt - and in their hearts they didn't really know uncle george anymore, because there was a scare in there now as well - but they went back to the castle and tried to think of only the good things again.

  On they way home, mum and dad said, "don't you just love uncle george" and the children said, "yes we do" - but they weren't sure what love was anymore, and simply agreed.
• 

  waiting

  Actually, it's not just cults who use the fear factor on their followers.

  The Catholic Church has been warning of hellfire since it's inception.....over a 1000 years ago. Other established protestant churches use hellfire and/or not being saved as the incentative to obey. The Roman & British world powers didn't rule without severe laws & punishments.

  The Taliban goes without saying too much. Soviet Russia used the fear factor on their followers through their government - so did Hitler.

  Lol.......our jails are full because people break laws (usually) and are punished for it.

  To be honest, many things (animal & human) respond obediently to negative conditioning. It's been the way of the majority of things since written history. Punishment begats obedience. Notice I didn't say it was necessarily healthy or worked.

  Positive conditioning or re-inforcement works better, but seems harder for humans to grasp. Perhaps we're still prone to violence, negativity & punishment?

  JW's aren't alone - just one of the many. I'm not condoning them as I was a Catholic child & then jw parent. Just saying JW's are more similar than unique in their engrossing negativity.

  Perhaps the next generation will do better? Btw, didn't mean to sound soapboxy.

  waiting
• 

  OUTLAW

  Hey Dede,I agree with you.Threating your childs life on a daily basis is child abuse.Cowardly bastards,each and everyone of them that participated in this crime against children..I have nothing to do with my parents for this,and many other reasons.....OUTLAW
• 

  WildTurkey

  All of my family on my dad's side are Catholic. I can tell you from MY experience that being Catholic would have been a lot better as a child than JW . The reason is ......... at least in MY experience, I am not saying this is every Catholics experience........ but Hellfire was for the very very wicked. I had cousins that lived together, smoked dope, drank, in jail,,,,,,,,,and no one ever said they were going to hell. In fact the priest would come by my grandmother's house and pray with her,,,,,,never once did he say they would be condemned to hell. It seemed there was so much more room for error in the Catholic church, as long as you repent. The Catholic church made it easy to repent...... there were no restrictions, or fear of being disfellowshipped for all the minor sins, like smoking, or even living together without marraige.

  My Dad's family would always say , it is God who will judge and he gives everybody a chance if they try to be the best they can.

  But being a JW ,,,,,,, that would never be good enough, you would have to confess to the elders who would judge you as men,,,,,,,,they didnt say you are forgiven by Christ for your sins,,,,,,,,no way,,,,, they wanted to know the gorey details, then sit as a group and discuss it and then say they prayed for Holy spirit to guide them . Then if you were lucky and didnt get d/f you got put on restrictions for a year. Then everyone knew you did something wrong, because you made every meeting,,,,, couldnt miss one , or that put you getting your privledges back another month.

  So as a teenage with an elder dad,,,,,,,,,I know I did nt tell anything I did, towards the end of the time I lived at home. If I would have told any little minor things, my dad would have beat me , I would be punished to my room , I would not be able to go anywhere alone, He would loss his position as elder and I couldnt not have lived with that. That would have been too much for me to bear. My dad would use the "you disappointed me" card, and he did it all the time. I wasnt allowed to sin,,,,,,, but we all know we all sin, especially teens,,,,,,,, I had to hide it and pray and cry that if armeggedon came, That Jehovah would read my heart and how sorry I was. But how much easier would it have been to not have that burden that you have , you must confess to the elders? It would have saved me so much emotional burdens, not to mention stomach ulcers.

  Being a JW child , as compared to my 35 cousins ( grannie had 10 kids, so big family) , my homelife was the worst. There was no freedom, there was no choices, I was like a little robot,,,,,, and I hated my life. I hated the ideas they feed in my brain about everyone , even my cousins and grandma, would all be bird food. I would pray all the time that they would be spared. Then when I got older and got in trouble I just held my secrets in,,,,, every nite going to bed thinking surely this is not going to help, Jehovah says you must tell the elders....it was miserable.
• 

  LyinEyes

  Sorry that was my reply...............I forgot how this logon thing works,,,,,,,, Dede
• 

  SheilaM

  Yep, I feel the same guilt. I can remember my son being in Kindergarten I went to pick him up and the teacher was angry at him. He had told a little girl he liked, that she needed to come to the Kingdom Hall or she would be destroyed. I scolded him and feel horrible to this day!!!! He just didn't want her to die and that was the only way he knew that she would be saved

  I feel so horrible KNOWING I was the one responsible for him fearing that eventuality.