I have a friend named uhhh... Timmm, who is in a bit of a quandary.
He has decided to go public with his apostate leanings, because it is becoming too hard to play the role of a meek, spiritually weak Witness--complete with looks of pity and concern from his mother and siblings, and contempt from his sister-in-law.
Timmm is sure one brother will have nothing to do with him after this, and he can live with that. Hes not positive what his mother and sisters will do. If they decide to shun him, it will make it very difficult for him to assist them, but he'll do what he has to [edit].
This is his dilemma: He doesnt know if he should try to get the rest of his family out. Hes a 3 rd generation dub, and wont even bother with extended family, but:
His father has been bed-ridden for the past few years with a degenerative debilitating disease. Because of his work schedule, Timmm's father never seemed all that strongly indoctrinated, but does his father look to the new system to heal him? Also, he seems to enjoy the occasional (every few months) visits from the brothers at the hall where Timmm's mother and sisters attend. These visits will probably peter off anyway, because Timmm's brother just moved from that hall, and they'll probably become one of those quiet familes that fall through the cracks. Would dad be crushed to learn that there is no panacea on the horizon? What else is there to offer him?
Timmm's father worked long hours on the midnight shift all during his childhood, so father and sons have never been all that close. Possibly because of that, the other two sons rarely visit. Timmm stops by to cut the grass and say a quick hello, but he's also busy trying to catch up on all the years he threw away on the Watchtower altar, and doesn't visit nearly as often as he should. Dad must be incredibly lonely, and Timmm worries that the disappointment of learning that the New System is not around the bend might push him over the edge into despair.
Timmm's sisters both have learning disabilities, and live at home with their parents. They are both extremely trusting, and have been taken advantage of by worldly people countless times. They're virtual prisoners in their own home. Their only social outlet is people at the hall. Yes, Witnesses can and do take advantage of people, too, but they do enjoy a measure of sheltering in the congregation that they need. What would happen to them if the family stopped attending?
Last but not least is Timmm's mother. She grew up in a dysfunctional Witness family and has deep emotional scars from her childhood. She also has a great burden taking care of a sick husband and two daughters. She has a lot of baggage that she carries around, and she feels that nobody understands her. Because of this, she has the worlds biggest persecution/martyr complex. She is not a strong woman on the outside, and takes anti-depressants (but shes far stronger than she'll ever realize). The problem is that Timmm and I can only see this problem getting worse as time goes on and the society keeps pushing the date of her relief back.
She has never been strong in the truth but has started attending more frequently in the past few years--ironically, she started going more as Timmm started going less. He suspects that much of her depression is a result of squelching doubts and disappointments of WT prophecies past, and he worries that her walls will come crumbling down around her if she loses all hope of a release from her present-day drudgery. Will she pack it in and leave all her responsibilities behind (she would have divorced years ago if it weren't forbidden) for a chance to live her own life in her twilight years? If so--and I think Timmm is a selfish bastard for even thinking this--will the responsibility fall an Timmm, as it always has, to take care of his father and sisters single-handedly?
Many people say that if you want to get loved ones out of this group, you have to give them something to take its place, but Timmm has nothing to offer. He wiped his theology slate clean years ago, and still has neither the time nor inclination to research and decide if he even believes in God (capitalized just in case), so he wouldn't feel comfortable offering a different religion or belief system as an alternative to the JWs. Because of their physical/mental/emotional handicaps, hobbies outside the home, beyond the bowling league that the women-folk belong to, are pretty much ruled out. His mother is too fragile even to come to this site!
This is so distressing to Timmm that its making his hair fall out! (At least thats the excuse he uses... I dont believe it.)
What do you guys think? Will he cause more harm than good if he tells his family the truth about the truth?
Hmmm
[edited because Word ate my formatting]
Edited by - hmmm on 23 July 2002 12:52:23