Part 1: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/163998/1.ashx
Part 2: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/164136/1.ashx
Part 3: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/164163/1.ashx
Part 4: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/164402/1.ashx
Part 5: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/164488/1.ashx
Part 6: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/164546/1.ashx
Part 7: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/164668/1.ashx
My Story: Part 8 – An American Wedding
Names and places have been changed.
You’ve Got Mail
One September morning I was checking my email and I noticed one particular message. It was from a sister who lived in America. The message was warning me about the dangers of one particular JW website which we had both visited – H20. It was a generic email and I wasn’t sure whether to respond or not, but I decided to write back. This sister, who I shall call Amanda, wrote back.
Soon, we were telling each other about our lives. Amanda was not raised in the truth but she came into in her late teens and had only been baptized for a couple of years. She was also an auxiliary pioneer. Although we were from different backgrounds, we soon became fast friends and were emailing each other every day, several times a day, even at work.
Something must have clicked because before long I had decided it would be great to actually meet her in person. I informed my parents who weren’t quite sure what to think – Internet dating was a relatively new phenomenon. I had never been to America before and what little I knew came from watching American movies.
Her congregation was a cut above the rest. It seemed like everyone was pioneering and the young ones had a good time, unlike my stuffy old congregation which did nothing. Of course, there were certain formalities that had to be taken care of.
You Can Do Better Than HimAmanda contacted an elder in her congregation to obtain a character reference on me. This elder promptly contacted one of my elders. Of all the elders it had to be, it was the one who threw me out of his house a couple of years ago. I feared the worst. Up to this point, Amanda and I were getting on very well and we became more than just friends.
One day I called Amanda and she sounded very cold on the phone. I didn’t know what was wrong. I had told her my background and she had told me hers. What had changed? She informed me that her elder had obtained a reference on me and it was not good. He told her “you can do better than that.”
My Hours Weren’t Good Enough
I had never been disfellowshipped before, neither had I been reproved. I had auxiliary pioneered on three occasions. I read every week at the book study. I commented at the meetings. I was regular in field service. So, what was the problem?
My hours were not good enough. They were below average. I was only “making” six or seven hours a month, instead of the UK average of eight or nine.
All future hopes to court this young lady were horribly dashed – it felt like a Jane Austen novel – instead of money and breeding it was hours and Bible studies – clearly I had no prospects.
Prior to meeting Amanda, I had never given much thought to marriage. My background and situation in the congregation made it impossible to even consider the subject. I wasn’t ready and my priorities were getting an education and moving to another town for a fresh start.
Before I knew about this reference, we had already agreed to meet. I had recently bought my plane tickets. After talking to her on the phone I had second thoughts about going; I even thought about getting my money back.
I did my best to reassure Amanda but it was hard to know if she would come around, but eventually she did. I called the elder in question and asked to meet with him. “Are you coming as a friend or are you coming to slag me off?” he said. I told him I was “coming as a friend.” I told him the situation and he told me what he had said. We left it at that. I asked him if he thought I was doing the right thing and he told me to take it easy.
Off To America
A few weeks later, I was off to America. Amanda and her family were waiting for me at the airport. A family in her hall had agreed to put me up for the week. The congregation was very nice and seemed amused at the idea of a Brit coming to visit. I got tired of the requests to hear my British accent, but it was all fun. The week went by very quickly and soon I was back in England.
Married and Homesick
We decided to pursue the relationship further and before long we were engaged. I was going to move over to the USA and started to apply for my visa. The whole immigration thing was nerve wracking to say the least. There were times that I thought it would never happen, but in the end we were married. My parents and a couple of friends came to the wedding.
Married life was not easy. For starters, I couldn’t legally work until I got my work permit and it would be almost six months before I did. I felt useless as I could not contribute to the household. I also had to adjust to American culture. I was homesick for several months but Amanda helped me to get over myself. The congregation we were serving in was very zealous for the ministry. They had meetings for field service twice a day. Everything was new and exciting and I looked forward to serving in the congregation. I was soon given the privilege of microphone duty and was regularly giving talks. The brothers were using me in the congregation and there was talk of appointing me as a ministerial servant. I was invited out here, there and everywhere. I felt as if I was making up for all those wasted years. Perhaps this was the answer to my prayers.
The doubts that I had about the organization were put at the back of my mind, but the more I tried not to think about them, the more I wanted to learn why I had them.