To All Lurkers - Feel the LOVE........

by AK - Jeff 16 Replies latest jw experiences

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    When I first found this site I was overwhelmed by the diversity - Jw's are not accustomed to diverse ideas and thought.

    I was obligated by the vast VOLUME of information that condemns the religion I had practiced for 4 decades - Jw's are not accustomed to facts and logical argumentation that defies the official position[s], to begin forming my own opinions from what I saw here.

    I was speechless when I read the similar posts about things that I could have written, things that bothered me for the longest time.

    I was overjoyed to realize that I was not alone in the world in my decision to leave the religion. I was terrified that I would be 'discovered' by lurking members of the organization, who would turn me in for disloyalty. I was impressed with the outstanding character of some individuals whom just months prior I would have considered evil to extreme. I was afraid to think on my own, to be challenged outside of the confinements of my closed mind, still heavily Jw. I was reticent to participate, as if the actual act of putting my fingers to the keyboard and making a comment crossed a line of some sort, making a return to the safety of the religion and the box it put God into more difficult from thereon, or impossible.

    I was magnatized to the people, subjects discussed, and openmindedness I saw here. I felt an immeasurable attraction to those who understood precisely from where I was coming, and understood all the above conflicting emotions. I was impressed by those willing to defend the Watchtower, even though they hated the Watchtower, when facts did not support allegations against them. This was a significant impression for me. It convinced me that, although there are 'Watchtower Bashers' here, there was also deep character here, and integrity. I discovered that the motives were not what I thought they would be - that the motives were honest, often painfully deep seated, and amazingly similar to my own motives, though at first I did not recognize that too clearly.

    Though fear gripped me in those days - I kept coming back - I finally posted and showed my face here. I have gained far more than I lost by becoming a member of this discussion forum. It has been worth years of therapy to me. It has condensed my exit process.

    I hope that you - Dear Lurker - will allow the same in your life. Some of you may still believe the Watchtower dogma, most do not, and some may not be sure at this point. Yet - if what you had/have/want is the Truth, nothing here is a danger to that. Truth cannot be overturned with reason, discussion. If it is - then it was never Truth to begin with.

    The Challenge

    I do not challenge you to put you in danger. Only you can do that - and generally danger is only a relative perception to begin with. The healing process is vastly increased when we 'work through' the issues ourselves, divest ourselves of the mental roadblocks, and allow ourselves to begin thinking our own thoughts. You will not find 'unity' here - that is, of the Jw variety, where all agree on everything. You will find great diversity of thought, lifestyles, opinions, religion here. That is what terrified you at the start - Right? The very thing you seek, is the thing you fear the most - thought that is unfettered by a filter of suppression. Yet it is the only gateway to freedom.

    So - are you willing to take the plunge? Pick a screen-name, one that is untracable to you. Register. And begin to heal with us. I believe you will find what you were looking for when you found the site - Truth about the Truth, and Truth about your Truth.

    Jeff

  • Zico
    Zico

    I posted my first ever topic (an apologist one) just before heading off to a meeting at the KH. I was terrified at what kind of response I would find when I got home, I don't think I paid any attention at that meeting.

    I expected to be flamed and criticised, because I had sensed bitterness while I lurked, but I wasn't, I didn't get ONE nasty response, the people here weren't like I had judged. It was a while before I started getting involved in other discussions, for the first 4 or 5 months of my own membership, I hardly posted outside of my own threads (literally only a few times) as I didn't feel worthy of it, but I did come to admire the great concern people here showed for each other, and intelligence they had. I was coming on almost every day, and learning something new almost every day. It was difficult to challenge my faith, but at the same time, it was exciting to learn so many new things.

    It really is a great place. Good post Jeff.

  • avidbiblereader
    avidbiblereader

    Well put Jeff, thanks for posting to those who are having trouble.

    abr

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Thank you Jeff for taking the time to help keep JWD a great place to learn, grow and heal.

    Open Mind

  • RollerDave
    RollerDave

    One thing that always kept me in line when I was on the WTS treadmill was the strong show of unity they are known for.

    It just never seemed like anyone at the hall could have any doubts, even if it had been permitted.

    They just present themselves as being such a homogenous block of solid belief and spiritual strength that it is easy to feel you are the only one having doubts or resenting the harsh unfeeling counterfeit 'love' they beat you with.

    This board has so many that are 'still in' faking it for their family, fading at various paces, or just crying out for understanding that even the most cursory visit should have the lurking JW looking with new eyes at their fellow WTS captives.

    The person sitting next to you at the hall could be a JWD contributor and you would never know it.

    If you are questioning the position, authority, or practices of the WTS, you are NOT alone even at their bastion of unity, the kingdom hall! Fellow dissidents are there with you, they just aren't allowed to admit it.

    Take heart lurkers, there is nothing wrong with you for questioning, you are simply responding to your inborn spiritual need that is not satisfied with the tortured logic that places the men of the WTS on the place of Christ.

    Keep lurking, work up your courage, and post when you feel up to it, we're here for you because we have been there and know how scary it can be.

    We gain nothing by extending ourselves in such a fashion, but do it anyway.

    'love among ourselves?' maybe. Certainly more than you are currently getting in the WTS.

    Looking forward to meeting you, dear lurkers,

    Rollerdave

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Really well put as always AK-Jeff.

    When I first found this site I was overwhelmed by the diversity - Jw's are not accustomed to diverse ideas and thought.

    To take just this point alone - this is the most freeing thing about the board - it teaches and enables multidisciplnaty thought. I came back to work from Dallas today two days late as I was struggling with a university assignment with a deadline. My boss called me in to ask me about what I was studying and why. And I explained that being brought up in the confines of dubism I never learnt to think adequately for myself and I am using my taste for academia to broaden my understanding and refine my arguments and he was very congratulatory.

    I still had to take the extra study days as annual leave though! LOL!

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Dang Crumpet - sure wish Dallas was closer than it is for us - would have loved to make your aquaintance there.

    Jeff

  • moomanchu
    moomanchu

    Nice topic and very true.

    I was speechless when I read the similar posts about things that I could have written, things that bothered me for the longest time.

    This was and is my favorite thing, to hear other people express the exact same concerns about the JW religon. Hearing other people with the same issues about so many different topics is very reaffirming.

    In the begining there were a lot of hmmmm's, huh's, oh man , ha's , and I'm not crazy.

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    I can't see how posting here can be dangerous if someone doesn't reveal too much info about themselves. It is possible to debate questions and request information without any danger. The whole idea is that unlike in the JW world there is freedom of speech.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Perhaps the Lurkers are looking and lurking, but can I entice at least one to join us here?

    Jeff

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