From the files by request: JWs & 'discipline'

by Mommie Dark 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mommie Dark
    Mommie Dark

    Someone asked me to post some of the material I have collected regarding how JWs treat kids during their meetings. The following was culled from my raw files. Those with tender sensibilities might want to read with caution. Have a barf bag handy...

    ***
    These are some of the scriptures that are used to convince JWs that it's fine to use corporal punishment on children:
    "Bruising wounds are what scours away the bad; and strokes, the innermost parts of the
    belly." (Prov. 20:30)"

    "Do not hold back discipline from the mere boy. In case you beat him with the rod, he will not die. With the rod you yourself should beat him, that you may deliver his very soul from Sheol itself." (Prov. 23:13, 14)

    "The one holding back his rod is hating his son, but the one loving him is he that does look for him with discipline."-Prov. 13:24.
    ------------------------

    I am deleting my editorial comment from the article; what follows is a bit of the testimony I received via email and message board when I mentioned the 'wooden spoon' routine so beloved of elderettes. It speaks volumes without any commentary:

    "I don't have any really bad horror stories but I do remember being beaten with wooden spoons, ping pong paddles, switches cut from trees, rulers, yardsticks, bare hands, a fist once, and mainly a belt.
    If they were not in a blind rage I was forced to pull down my pants so they could get a shot at my bare ass. Blind rages were horrible beatings as we(my brothers and me) were chased through the house while being beatin. More than once the weapon of choice was
    broken on us."

    ***
    OK, one editorial comment: this guy didn't think he had any horror stories! I cried when I read that...

    ***

    "Yes, physical punishment was the norm in our house. My stepdad was supposedly "anointed" so of course he had to put on a real good show for the other "brothers" and "sisters" each meeting.I was always very good, quiet and still-never moved, took notes etc. etc. but my little brother just couldn’t be robot like enough for the jerk who was our
    stepdad and got hit a lot. I remember one meeting my brother was sitting there as still as a statue only thing he seemed to be doing was blinking and breathing.Well the jerk took him outside during the meeting! I asked my brother who was about 12 or 13 at the time why
    and he told me it was because he blinked too much!!! The jerk took him outside and beat him in the parking lot for blinking his eyes 40 times!!! "

    ***
    "I was pregnant with my daughter at the time, and my son was 3 1/2.
    Another new 'sister' had an 8 month old baby girl. They had to sit in
    the library often, because the baby wouldn't be quiet (obviously). She wasn't screaming.. she was the most sunshine-y baby I've ever seen. She would babble and laugh and giggle and just be a cutey-pie the whole time. It would disrupt things, because everyone would be goo-gooing at her, of course! She was beautiful.

    Well, anyway, the woman and man who studied with myself, and also this
    other sister, told the mother (and me, since I was about to have a
    baby), that it's better to train the baby to be quiet in Jehovah's
    house, than to give in to her and sit in the back room. They said she
    should sit in the main room and give the baby a smack when she makes
    noise. EIGHT MONTHS OLD! SMACK HER FOR LAUGHING?"

    ***
    "I knew a young family with a baby girl eight months old: she needed a foot brace to correct a problem. The brace was a metal bar with special shoes attached at the correct angle, and it was held to her body with straps. Her feet were held perfectly still on the bar
    and the straps were pulled tight to keep it from shifting. It looked horrible, and it was obviously uncomfortable, because the baby cried and fussed a lot. One Sunday she cried more than usual and her father kept taking her into the restroom and smacking her thigh.
    By the end of the meeting she had quite a red welt on her leg from all the smacking. I was in the restroom when her mother brought her in for a diaper change after the meeting, and when her mom took the wet dress and diaper off the baby there was a huge raw spot
    where the strap had gotten under her t-shirt and rubbed a big patch of skin off. This guy was smacking her repeatedly for crying in genuine pain at the wound. Her mother looked at me with a stricken and really guilty expression and rushed through the rest of the
    change and hustled the baby out the door and into the car in record time. The next Sunday it was business as usual, and baby got smacked several times for crying during the meeting."
    ***

    "I cannot remember exactly when the beatings started, but I remember
    hating the meetings because I knew it was where we went to get smacked.
    I can remember as a little child, and I must have been under 6 because it was before I started school, being taken out and smacked for sleeping during a meeting.

    Usually it was trousers and underpants down, bend over, and 3 smacks with an open hand. If we had been particularly bad, like drawing pictures in the Watchtower or something like that, it would not be the open hand but a shoe, or a belt. But always 3 times.

    Another regular was if I talked with --- (my elder brother by 1 yr)
    during a meeting we would both be taken out to the annexe to receive a
    punishment which even now takes my breath away to think about it. My dad would grab my hair in his right fist and my brothers hair in his left fist and bang our heads together...again 3 times. The pain was excruciating, even after the 1st bang. I can remember seeing stars and the room spinning. I can also remember the swelling that would come up on my head.

    I can also remember we always used to wear shorts, unless there was
    bruising there when we would have to wear long trousers to cover the
    bruising up.

    It wasn't only my dad that dished this out, but my mother also. Her
    favourite was to pull me up and down the stairs dragging me by the ear.

    At times it was worse than others, but it never stopped.

    I always dreaded my dad coming home from work, because that was when
    my mum would tell him what we had done during the day. She rarely told
    him we had been good, so it was usually a thrashing followed by being sent
    to bed early. Occasionally mum would stop him if he went too far, others she would not. Other times she would be the one to go too far, but dad never stopped her. Mum if she went into a rage would grap anything at hand to hit us with. I remember having a wooden spoon broken over my head."
    ***

    OK, that's enough. There is lots more, but I am getting nauseated so I know it's time to quit.

    I wish any of the JW apologists here could be one of those little kids for a week or so.

    As always,
    MD
    who knows the babies are still being terrorized

  • Had Enough
    Had Enough

    Heelo Mommie Dark:

    I appreciate your posting here in a separate thread these experiences of others.

    I saw them in my post on the Canadian family whose children have been removed by the Children's Aid Society (CAS) because of their religious beliefs of corporal punishment which just mean they feel they have scripturally admonition to use a "rod" like a switch, belt, stick or whatever to discipline their children. I'm glad this info is not going to be buried in my thread and deserves one on its own.

    Thank you for having the "stomach" to post these. I hope it will cause some JW lurkers to realize their childrens' welfare is more important than living up to the image the borg. presents of the perfect little family serving god. These men setting the standards of what our children should be able to endure and how they should behave, do not live in the real world...and it's very easy for someone who has never raised a child from infancy to sit back and make judgements and rules for others but they lack the experience to know how a child behaves on a day-to-day basis.

    Thanks again for bringing these stories out.

    Had Enough

  • somebody
    somebody

    MD,

    These stories just break my heart and really do bring tears to my eyes too. I pray that times have changed since I attended meetings 22 years ago. I was fortunate that my dad wouldn't do anything like that during the meetings to me, or any of my 7 sisters. We never got in any trouble for whispering, or drawing, or stuff like that at meetings. It was silly stuff at home that you might do that would make him very abusive. I know that if anyone knew what my dad was really like back then, we would have been removed from our home. Unless it was a JW who knew what was going on. If that were the case, the JW probably would have said it was our fault that my dad was a lunatic.

    I did witness other kids getting beat for moving around or talking too much though. And I saw my share of toddlers get beat because they couldn't sit still and quiet for 2 hours. There were some parents who allowed their children to bring a small toy, or even color or draw during the meetings. But those parents were very rare. The subjects of the talks were about 20 years above toddlers and childrens'level of comprehension. How is a child expected to sit through two ours of that, when adults even had a hard time sitting still and staying awake through it?!!

    This is certainly a subject that should be brought up, and I'm glad you brought it up. As HadEnough said, it might open the eyes of JW lurkers who have toddlers,small children,and pre-teens. They are killing the spirits of their own toddlers and children

    HadEnough, I missed your post, but I'll look for it.

    peace,
    somebody...who sheads tears for the babies and children of JWs.

  • TweetieBird
    TweetieBird

    Thank you Mommie for posting these as well. I did a thread recently on physical abuse to children and it's nice to see someone else feels the same way I do.

  • sf
    sf

    Indeed! How many MORE kids were just abused as we all responded to this thread? How many more will be after I hit the submit button?
    How many more, lets say, in the next two months, will SURELY be brutalized before WTS's laundry is "AIRED"? THAT is the most nauseating feeling of all! How many?

    TOO MANY!

    sKally, tossing her filled up barf bag(thx for the spare MD) out now and getting some aspirin

  • Had Enough
    Had Enough

    Hi somebody:

    Sorry...I just noticed your post now.'

    In case you didn't find my post on "Children Removed from Family Over Discipline.." it is at http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=8312&site=3

    TweetieBird: I too am happy others are interested in this issue, especially when we see authorities reacting in such a strong manner to the kind of "discipline" some groups believe in and practice when happens to be similar to the JW methods. That article jolted me into remembering past experiences I had filed away in my memory.

    Then hearing many other experiences from others too, just adds fuel to the fire of realizing this is a widespread issue....not just a few scatterings here and there.

    Had Enough

  • Esmeralda
    Esmeralda

    Ah yes...more touching memories of a childhood in the Borg.

    My mother would complain about people battering their children at meetings, but had no compunction about using the wooden spoons and hairbrushes at home (the big wooden variety)...

    And I got off easy, compared to so many.

    And people wonder why I'm not raising my own child the way I was raised.

    ~Essie

  • closer2fine
    closer2fine

    My parents proudly displayed the wooden spoons with holes in them (to hurt more).

    When my brother broke one (he pulled his foot up and it snapped) they moved on to a section of rubber hose.

    Sigh, I have such fond memories of the borg.

    closer

    Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors. -- Steven Wright

  • larc
    larc

    Moomie Dark,

    I am glad that brought this information to us. It is the kind of subject that should be brought back to the top every couple months for the newbies and lurkers.

    I just brought one back up on a related subject, The Poor JW Children. I would be interesed in your thoughts on this one.

  • AngelofMuZiC
    AngelofMuZiC

    I am ABSOLUTELY SICKENED!!!!! But I am also reminded of how I was smacked at the meeting repeatedly for talking to someone next to me, or sleeping or drawing, or having to go to the bathroom more than once. And it wasn't always my mother who did this. My mother sometimes allowed the woman who studied with before she was baptized take me outside and pretty much beat me. Not one smack or two, but like 10 or 15. That;s all I have to say. BBBAAAARRRRRFFFFFFF!
    Joanne

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