TRANSCRIPT OF JW PARENT'S COERSIVE TACTICS

by Corvin 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Corvin
    Corvin

    In preparing for this custody battle and ensure the safety of my children, I have been researching and putting together a strong case with evidence of harm caused to the children by the religion. If sufficient evidence is presented, the judge will more than likely rule that mom is not to discuss any religion whatsoever with the children as long as they minors living in my home. I have much evidence of abuse which includes a recording I made of mother using coersive tactics to get our 13 year old to go the meetings. The following is a word for word transcript. Keep in mind that is only a mild example of how mother tries to manipulate our kids.

    TIM

    The last thing she wants right

    now is to go to the Kingdom Hall.

    SARA

    Why, why do you say that?

    TIM

    Because it?s a very negative

    experience for her.

    SARA

    What do you mean?

    TIM

    What do I mean? She doesn?t want

    to go to the Kingdom Hall because

    it?s a negative thing to her.

    And, that stresses her out.

    SARA

    When she?s over there (at Sara?s house) she wants to go. She doesn?t say that she?s stressed out. In fact she gets ready and she?s happy about it.

    TIM

    Well, shouldn?t we bring her in here and ask her?

    SARA

    No, you know what? When she?s at my house, I will ask her. If she wants to go, she can go. Okay? And if she doesn?t want to then

    she won?t have to go . . . if that?s stressing her out. But I know when she goes to the meetings she?s happy.

    TIM

    Well, we discussed here recently and what seems to be bugging her is the fact that she has to go to(religious) meetings. And she says, this is what she tells me, she says that she doesn?t want to go . . .

    MOMENTS LATER

    TIM TO ELIZABETH

    I was just discussing with your mom, and she says that she is not going to pressure you or make you go to the meetings if you don?t want to go. And that?s the bottom line. There isn?t going to be any guilt, no Bible cracked open . . .

    SARA TO TIM

    What do you mean, "no Bible cracked open"?

    TIM TO SARE

    I mean, to try to get her to go

    to the meetings, in other words,

    you are not going to try to insist in anyway that she goes if she doesn?t want to go. That was our agreement, yes?

    SARA TO ELIZABETH

    Well, when you go to the meetings,

    she usually wants to go with us.

    ELIZABETH

    No I don?t.

    SARA

    You don?t?

    ELIZABETH

    No.

    TIM

    See, this is what I am hearing from her, and now she is saying it in front of you, and . . .

    SARA TO ELIZABETH

    So, you?re gonna stay home when we go to the meetings? Or should I drop you off here?

    ELIZABETH

    I?ll just stay home.

    TIM TO SARA

    Well, as long as you?re there and

    Mark?s not there alone with her.

    TIM TO ELIZABETH

    You have the option of staying there alone, or you can come back here.

    TIM TO SARA

    Right? Either one. I don?t want to cut into your visitation time,

    but if you want to visit with your kid, stay home from the meetings instead and stay with her.

    SARA TO ELIZABETH

    So you?re gonna go to the memorial?

    (an annual event at the church)

    ELIZABETH

    Umm . . .

    SARA

    Cuz you have the dress. If you don?t, just don?t take the tags off so I can take it back, take those dress back, ok?

    TIM TO SARA

    You?re going to punish her

    (for not going) by taking her dresses away?

    SARA

    Well, if she?s not going to use

    them for the meetings . . . I bought them for the meetings.

    TIM

    Well, she doesn?t have to wear them to the meetings. She can wear them for other occasions. Why are you going to punish her by taking her dresses away?

    SARA

    I?m not punishing her!

    TIM

    Well, that?s what it sounds like.

    SARA

    No, I bought those . . . well, Tim just . . . give me that. Give me the number (for Elizabeth?s psychiatrist and therapist).

    TIM TO ELIZABETH

    What your mother is saying is that if you don?t go to the meetings, then you can?t have those dresses.

    SARA

    Well, she chose that dress to go to the m-, to go to the memorial.

    TIM

    Well, that?s fine.

    SARA

    Well, okay, okay

  • kls
    kls

    That women is really nuts ( sorry but that is how i feel ) To give her nice things like a new dress but only for the meetings is like saying, i will give you something but there is a cost and if you don't do my bidding i will take it away. What the jws like to do dangle that carrot. It sounds more like she is trying to impress those at the meeting that she is a good jw and she has control of her children .

  • HappyDad
    HappyDad

    Corvin,

    Your ex is an absolute f***ing nut case and I pray that you and your kids have the victory.

    Oh my God.......what has this crazy religion done to humanity?

    Hang in there my friend........you have a lot of support on this forum and we all are on your side.

    HappyDad

  • seattleniceguy
    seattleniceguy

    Hey Corvin

    I dealt with an arbitrator one time while helping a friend who was going through a divorce. The cool thing about a disinterested third party is that they can usually see the difference between reasonableness and unreasonableness. I hope your judge, social workers, etc, are able to cut through the crap and see what's what here.

    Best wishes.

    SNG

  • ezekiel3
    ezekiel3

    At first glance I would say that Sara is a manipulator (independant of JWs). But I have heard this same manipulation from so many JW parents in different forms. I vouch for you.

    Since ?JW logic? doesn?t work on JW kids, parents inevitably move to this kind of manipulation to keep their children at meetings.

    By refusing to go to the Memorial, Elisabeth made an indelible mark. The big no-no to JWs. Look for Sara to ?write Elisabeth off? with a temporary pseudo DF-ing to test if see can guilt her daughter to return.

    It may aggravate you to see this going on, but count on your daughters' intelligence. All you have to do is provide them with an emotionally secure place - something they are desperately missing with mom.

    The most plain expose of JW cult tactics is demonstrated when JW parents deal in the same way with their children.

    Sincerely, EZ3

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    "What? She doesn't want to go to the meetings??? How is that possible???"

    That is what was going through her mind... a JW just cannot fathom the idea of someone NOT wanting to go to the meetings. It is like

  • Corvin
    Corvin
    That is what was going through her mind... a JW just cannot fathom the idea of someone NOT wanting to go to the meetings. It is like . . .

    Elsewhere, where'd you go . . . ?

  • new light
    new light

    Corvin: Kudos to you for keeping a level head through all of this. The mentality of your ex and her congregation is frustrating even to the detached reader, so I can only imagine how stressful this must be to you and your family. Keep up the good fight, man. Your daughters are lucky to have you as a loving voice of sanity.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    The usual pattern is clear to see, huh?

    I'm just going to offer a single word of caution, though, and I hope you'll take it as it's meant:

    TIM TO ELIZABETH

    What your mother is saying is that if you don?t go to the meetings, then you can?t have those dresses.

    You might want to be careful about using that kind of explanatory note with her.
    A judge could view it as you being manipulative, too, and that's the very last thing you want.

    I also think it's really sad that this kind of debate is occuring in front of the child.
    The whole thing is grevious, huh?

    Good luck!

  • bull01lay
    bull01lay

    Hi corvin:

    a recording I made of mother using coersive tactics

    Was she aware that you were recording her ??

    I don't know how the law lies on this in America, but over here, it wouldn't be allowed to be presented as evidence unless she consented to having conversations with you recorded. Stupid, isn't it ??

    I've been on the receiving end of almost identical coersive tactics to that when I was younger, (no, not sending back my dress!!!) and it didn't make a blind bit of difference to me. The guilt trip worked on me though....

    It sounds to me like your daughter is resolute - I doubt if mom sending back a dress is going to instill a desire to attend meetings!!

    Best of luck buddy,

    Bull!

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit