It seems that it would be very useful to know the tricks JWs use, most of us are no doubt aware of this on some level but I thought it would be nice to really get into them, maybe even look at some actual incidents that have happend to see what was going on. What comes to mind for me is that some of the emotions involved are guilt, shame and fear, but not only that there is the whole "love bombing" thing on the other side. I think it's worth pointing out that the bombing is basically to stroke your ego, I mean they are being nice to you because they want a new person. Anyways, it would also be nice to see the different strategies used (even if unconsciously) at different stages of the witness life. So, got anything to share? You can just share your experience and how you felt about it, at the time and afterwards upon reflection.
Identifying mind states used by JWs
by Introspection 13 Replies latest jw friends
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AS IF
I remember most of all the love bombing myself. More Love than I'd ever seen, and I think it was because my parent was already a new one so how much deeper her love would be pushed if she saw the love bomb of her own children. I saw also guilt, and tons of it heaped. They can't associate with us because we aren't quite there yet, so maybe we should do more to get there. Crap like that. I'm telling you; I will never ever judge any person whatsoever by anything other that how they treat me as an individual. Quite contrary to popular JW teaching. This ones okay but that one not. All people are great in my eyes whether race, religion, sex, marital status, or financel, as long as they do nothing to hurt me, I'm cool.
EATEN BY BIRDS
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Introspection
Well, one obvious thing that comes to mind is that the "love" is used as a reward, but just enough to keep you going so they become few and far between. Of course, all that is is approval of people, that you're doing the things that they think you're supposed to do..
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Wolfgirl
They can heap the guilt on even better than my mother.
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rebel
I've had the elders tell me what a wonderful person I am and it is such a pity that I am letting a few 'trivial' things come between me and Jehovah. The 'trivial' things were not trivial by any means. They also keep saying that so-and-so (and then they mention different ones in the congregation) really misses you and it would be such a pity to let them down by not coming when they are relying on you so much. It's funny, but when I was a regular attendee, the elders never had anything nice to say to me. They are really trying to make me feel as guilty as hell, but I'm not buying it anymore.
xxR
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Perry
I've had the elders tell me what a wonderful person I am and it is such a pity that I am letting a few 'trivial' things come between me and Jehovah.
rebel has exposed the most destructive of their mind sets. - It is the belief that the org. and Jehovah are the same thing. Note how often they use the two terms interchangably.
For all practical purposes the org. is worshipped as the Creator.
Edited by - Perry on 20 January 2003 7:55:59
Edited by - Perry on 20 January 2003 7:56:30
Edited by - Perry on 20 January 2003 7:56:59
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DanTheMan
the shaming really started to annoy me, even years before I finally left.
I remember one experience that was given a number of times at conventions and assemblies that really made my stomach turn. The experience was of a sister who was the wife of a bro who was a "cracker-jack" mechanic , he had been quite successful in his car repair biz, so successful that she was able to quit her secular job (if you're a Watchtower wife you *certainly* don't need to work a secular job if your husband makes enough money). Well, the experience goes on to relate that *GASP* she decided to open a boutique instead of pioneering! Can you believe her lack of appreciation?!!!
Of course the experience was designed to heap shame on anybody in the audience whose "circumstances enabled" them to pioneer, but chose to do otherwise. It was sickening.
Edited by - dantheman on 20 January 2003 11:37:37
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onacruse
What got to me the most was the overt pressure to have your every thought and opinion be in conformity with the WTS. For example, not too long ago there was a comment in a Watchtower to the effect that just secretly harboring dissenting opinions constituted apostasy. Nothing to do with conduct or speech, just merely having the thought was wrong. Of course, guilt can play into this as well, because if you go to the elders in an attempt to resolve these thoughts (and they are frequently incompetent to the task), it's not unusual for them to resort to the "How can you possibly think that you're smarter than the organization?" argument. Eventually this pressure induces most people to acquiesce with the "wait on Jehovah and his organization" excuse, and then they can shut off their thought processes without feeling guilty.
This technique is by no means unique to the WTS, but they certainly do use it effectively and without hesitation.
Craig
Edited by - onacruse on 20 January 2003 12:25:2
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imanaliento
i like that line: are they being nice because they want a new person?
I remember once a group of us ladies were chatting before a meeting and a sister walks over and mentions that we should say "hi" to this new person so she could see how Friendly we are.
again, now I see how we had no conscience to do something like that on our own, always had someone else telling us what to do, how to act.
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Pistoff
rebel has exposed the most destructive of their mind sets. - It is the belief that the org. and Jehovah are the same thing. Note how often they use the two terms interchangably.
This hit me very hard once the veil fell for me last May. The feeling of doom I had been feeling about my belief had no merit; I was not questioning God but the org. Then I realized that indeed in my own mind, unknown to my conscious self, they had linked God with the organization, and any doubts I had about the org became equal to doubts about God. I see it in my wife and family when we discuss the problems going through the org; they just KNOW that it is just a fluke, that it is God's org, where else are you going to go, etc etc.
This is getting better, but still I have stabs of conscience that wake me in the night. But I no longer feel empty and I know that my belief in God will manifest itself as it needs to.