It did not sound odd when I was a Witness!

by kenpodragon 9 Replies latest jw friends

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  kenpodragon

  Some times I will go out to lunch with some friends, or maybe they will have me over to dinner. In doing so they will some times ask me a question about the Witnesses. Normally it is because one of them works with one, or knows one in the family and they did not want to offend that person with a question that might sound rude or even silly. Some of you might have experienced this yourself in your post-Witness life.

  These question can be everything from "why do Witnesses not celebrate Birthdays", to "what is up with long skirts." In any case I can often pull from my 25 years in the religion and give them a answer along the thinking of the society and current Witnesses. As I do so though, and explain this detail and that thought. They will sit there and listen and watch me, and see the points that I am making. Then when I am completely finished and have thoroughly explained the answer to their questions. They will say something like "how did you ever believe something so odd?"

  That is a good question really. I do not know how many times in this life I have asked that to myself, as well. I have set at night wondering, "why did I think demons were controlling everything" or "why did I accept that it was okay to turn my friends in for saying something against the organization." In all, it is so hard to find the answer to these questions. Mainly because the person inside who used to believe these things, got smarter. What do I mean?

  Well when I look back at my childhood and wonder why I choose to take the quarter from my mom, because it was metal and cool looking, over the dollar that looked flimsy and worthless . I think, that was stupid! Yet I also think, "well I did not know any better." I was a child and children are learning in this life all the time. We make mistakes, and we learn from them to improve the way we think about things. To me, that inner child never really stops learning. Yes the body may grow older and the thoughts might grow deeper. Yet some where inside us is the "child within" always waiting to make a bad decision we will look at later and go "why did I do that?"

  So as I sit there with my friends, or talk to them on the phone, and hear myself saying "we do not believe in Birthdays because someone got their head cut off" or "we do not go to college because the world is ending soon." I might feel a little odd now, realizing that was something I used to accept, but I have to remind myself many times. "It did not sound odd then" and that was because I just did not know anything else, and I was just doing things I would learn from later. Then I kind of reinforce my life now, by saying ..

  "Thank goodness you do know now, what you did not know then"

  So does this happen to you?

  My thought

  Dragon
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  Lost Diamond

  Dragon,

  That is exactly what happened to me today. I was talking with some ladies in the office and the subject came up that I was once a Jw. They asked me some questions about their beliefs, just like the guys asked you.

  Afterwards, I thought to myself, "I can't believe I used to think that way!" Doesn't feel good to know better now?
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  VeniceIT

  HAHHAHAHAH no kidding. I've done this several times trying to explain things, and I'll just crack up and say man this is the dumbest thing I've heard, and I can hardly explain it. And I used to explain it so well and be sooo serious, how did people not laugh at me???? I'd have died!!!!!'

  "I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger" (can I get a "W" here)

  Ven

  Edited by - VeniceIT on 17 October 2002 15:59:36
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  freedom96

  This is right on with my opinion of the newly baptized. The vast majority must be kids brought up as witnesses, and they know nothing else. It would be interesting to see what the average age of newly baptized people are.

  As an adult now, I can look at the teachings, and know that it is a crock of sh**. The beliefs sure were wacky. But hey, I grew up as one, and when we are isolated from others, we know nothing else.
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  BluesBrother

  I find something everyday that has me thinking that way.

  Remember that many of us were raised in it with parents we respected who sincerely taught us the stuff. We were also exposed to outside teaching but we were pre disposed to disregard that as "Worldly" wisdom and meaningless compared to the "Truth". I guess also that we wanted to believe

  Members of closed groups,even Branch Davidians and George Jones' group (as extremes) found it all ok when they were within it.

  not stupid ,just misled
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  NeonMadman

  So as I sit there with my friends, or talk to them on the phone, and hear myself saying "we do not believe in Birthdays because someone got their head cut off" or "we do not go to college because the world is ending soon." I might feel a little odd now, realizing that was something I used to accept, but I have to remind myself many times. "It did not sound odd then" and that was because I just did not know anything else, and I was just doing things I would learn from later.

  The reason it seems so odd, imho, is that those were not the real reasons we believed those things. We didn't believe that birthdays were wrong because some people got beheaded; not really. We believed it because we had unquestionably accepted an organization as being God's sole representative on earth, and that organization told us it was so. They could have told us that birthdays are wrong because the moon is made of green cheese, and we would have bought it.

  Thw Watchtower doesn't have to convince us of a lot of doctrines to get our subservience, only one. If they can convince us that they, and they alone, speak for God, they've got us. Once we believe that, all else follows, no matter how foolish it seems to people on the outside.

  In a way, it's a house of cards for them, though. Once we see "the man behind the curtain," so to speak, the whole thing falls apart just as quickly as it was accepted. And going back (at least while retaining a shred of integrity and self-esteem) becomes impossible.
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  A Paduan

  May you wanted it to be odd when you were a witness - you know, different - part of being a witness - while others laugh, they're reinforced by that - imagining it to be scoffing.

  paduan
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  Xander

  We didn't believe that birthdays were wrong because some people got beheaded; not really. We believed it because we had unquestionably accepted an organization as being God's sole representative on earth, and that organization told us it was so.

  That's exactly the right answer.

  It's a little hard to pitch to coworkers, et al, though. After all, that CLEARLY makes them a cult, and to most the world, JW's are just those 'harmless but irritating people who wake me up every Saturday'.

  Plus, you just KNOW that if you told someone the reason you didn't celebrate birthdays was because someone claimed god told them it was wrong....well....they'd look at you kinda funny and worry about your mental health. "I got better" doesn't work very well if they don't understand the context.
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  terabletera

  Madman said a cottonpickin mouthful.

  I often feel downright foolish when others ask about "why this?" and "why that?" and how often I want to answer with "yeah...what's up with that crap?" I'd like to say I was smoking some really powerful weed or drinking heavily but NO, I wanted so much to just be where I thought I was supposed to be that I accepted so much. I do shake my head and smile now, it's all I can do. But I think it has been beneficial. I told one of my other XJW friends that as a JW it was like I was a capped up bottle of pop constantly being shaken. When the lid came off, I didn't just finally pour out, I exploded. I grew and became so much more aware of things in such a real light (not NEW light, real light) that I have changed so very very much since then and it's just been a year folks...that I refer to my time as a JW as my Neurosis. I am feeling much better now.
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  wednesday

  This is so true. A lot of people do think JW are harmless people and most of them think they are very moral but with some odd beliefs. Many people hardly know anything about their beliefs than the big ones like maybe holidays and blood.

  Actually a number of religons talk about an armageddon and don't celebrate x-mas r they give u a hoice whether u want to celebate or not. Our pentacostal type neighbors don't beleve in tV or anything like that. so actually jw are certainly not the only screwy religions around and compared to the branch davidens and those people who committed sucide and planned to go up in spaceship-well,JW see almost ok.

  I find myself trying to tell people now what jw beleived and i swear, i haven't really studied in so long i would be hard pressed to try and prove anything. also, now that i don't study-nothing makes sense anymore. Like my mom's funeral, the talk was not comforting and sounded disjointed as the speaker jumped aorund from one topic to another.