Can someone explain this to me?

Tinkerbell4125

My j.w. sister got married back in the summer. She had a small wedding and they only invited their families. This is what I don't understand. She invited our brother, whom use to be a witness, left the borg. started smoking, celebrates holidays, the whole nine yards, action from the elders were never taken.The elders didn't go after him with a vengence like they did with me. My worldly sister was also invited and another worldy brother and his family. I wasn't invited. Why? Yes my husband and I disasociated ourselves in 1999, but, am I really that different from the rest of my siblins that aren't j.w.'s. I mean, it's like they strain a gnat and swallow the camel. I mean, it just seems to me, if you are worldly, then you're worldly, right? Wouldn't it make sense that if it was a witness wedding that ONLY witnesses would be there? It's like they make their own rules to suit there own needs.

A few weeks ago I was at the county fair with my worldly brother and his family. My j.w. sister was there with her children. At one point, she was taking a picture of my brother and his family. I jokingly moved in front of the camera to be in the picture. She looked at me like I had lost my mind and motioned me to move! I laughed it off, but deep down, it cut me like a knief. Does being a witness give you the right to be just plain rude! Wouldn't the christain thing to do, would be to have taken the picture, and maybe, cut me out later!!! =;o) I tell ya, if they think that kind of behavior would make me come back, they've got another thing coming. It just makes me hate the WTS that much more. I know my dad got sick of the way they treated him. I know he had alot of problems that caused him to take his life, but I believe with all my heart, and nothing will ever make me change my mind, that the way he was treated by the j.w.'s played a hugh part in his depression. I saw the way he was treated with my own eyes. I don't know how some of my j.w. siblin's sleep at night, I swear, I really don't.

My family is mixed with j.w.'s , ex-j.w.'s, faded j.w's, never been a j.w., never would be a j.w. and ME who made it clear that I wanted out. But, it's like they pick who they will talk to and who they wont.

Can someone explain how they can do this? I was a witness for most of my life and I still don't understand how they determine weather or not you are worthy of their company.

TR

Tink,

Maybe it's because you and CC took a stand against the WTS by DAing. Maybe your sis thinks there is hope for the ones that just faded away. Then again, maybe she's just a bitch, and is envious of you, your individuality, and stunning beauty.

TR

Swan

I can't begin to explain it. My father was never baptized. (Yes, my mother married an unbeliever!) He takes her to casinos for gambling. He got her to go to an "R" rated movie that he was dying to see. He took us both to a topless show. He takes her to worldly get togethers (one where he got shit faced drunk and insisted on driving home). They do love each other but he has consistently been a bad influence on her as far as JW stuff goes.

Who is the one shunned? Me. I DA myself in 1994.

I don't get it either.

Tammy

freedom96

What is sad, is that you probably lead a life that much more Christian in behavior than many witnesses do, or even non-witnesses do. It is sad that witnesses must put so much emphasis on whether or not someone is a witness, and then if you can associate with them.

It is so refreshing now, to have friends who judge me only by my charactor. Not if I live up to the witness standard. They do not care which religion I belong to, if any. They don't care nor judge me on anything. They decide to have a friendship based on charactor, the way it ought to be.

LyinEyes

I was thinking the same thing the other day when I got behind a sister at the Walmart checkout line. I wasnt about to not get in line just because she was there, I am holding my head up high. She turned around and looked at me and just smiled very sweetly and I knew she wanted to say hi, but couldnt. I know the pressure being a JW puts on you, there are many that will say hi, or say it with their mouth from a distance. I know I was that way, if no one could see I would say hi or ever talk a bit. I know this was wrong , it bothered my conscious and even as a young child I knew d/f and shunning was wrong. In fact, it is one of the big reasons on my list to get out of being JW and D/A myself.

Then, you have others that seem to revel in the fact that they can snub you . I am not sure why they hate seem to hate so much, I guess d/f and d/a is the ulitimate power tool used by the Wt and also a power trip for those who delight in carrying this stupid JW tradtion out. If you go agaisnt your family it the only way they can try and hurt you, they can't do anything eles. I know my dad is very pleased to shun me , he thinks he will get his way,,,, which I am not sure what he wants, but if he can't control me , he will try to punish me . Little does he know , how little I care about him anymore. He can't hit me, he can't belittle me, he can't touch me.........but yeah it pisses the hell out of me that they think they are better.......... And my dad can go eat thanksgiving dinner with my very Catholic family , but my sister and I would not even get a call if he was dying in the hospital. All of my dad's family think he is crazy, but they accept him still that is the way they are. They have been more than great to me when I left. They don't understand why he is the way he is, and they say they pray for him to change ..LOL....... if he only knew what they really think of him.

But it hurts to feel shunned, no matter how much we try to ignore it , say it is their problem....it hurts still. I think right now since I am newly D/A I am more angry than hurt right now. I think it is utter bullcrap.

Maybe your sister is jealous of you Tink, you know how sister's can be when they get jealous. Maybe she sees you happy and free and she cant break the chains that are holding her so she is trying to be an ass to you because of her own jealousy.

I can't say for sure why , but that is one screwed up organization to shun people the way they do. It is rude, unloving, and from the darn stone age. It should be a crime, literally to be able to shun people to the point of it affecting their work, their emotions, and family ties. I wish the WT could be sued for mental anguish on this............ Well,,,,,,, Tink , I would be honored to have you in my family pic.......... Hugsssssssssssssssss. Dede

dsgal

Yes,in my experience,being a JW does give you the right to be just plain rude.They do make their own rules and they hardly ever do the christian thing.My whole family was treated shitty by the JWs when my Dad died and none of us was even Df'd or Da'd.My brother's Baptist church really showed them up bad at that time.Sorry A-HOLES didn't even bother to stop by the funeral home to pay respects.HOW CHRISTIAN IS THAT?Thanks to them,my whole family has drifted.I'm so sorry about what happened to your Dad.I can certainly understand that they contributed to his depression.As far as your family goes,as long as any of them are still in it,be prepared to be hurt by them.Sad but true.

Preston

Tink,

It's hard for me to me make a call as to your sister's (pardon my French) utra-shitty behavior to you. Sometimes the very actions of those in the congregation are as confusing and as ambiguous as the teachings themselves. Your sister is shunning you simply because you are being true to yourself, and unfortunately, the organization's version of "profiles in courage" is limited to those who only follow orders. The borg is perpetual childhood where people are so afraid...it even gets to the point where they don't know who they can be friends or family with. Jehovah's Witnesses are the queerest people on the planet, and that coming from a gay man means a lot.

Just think about this for a second, if a bystander asked your sister why you couldn't be in the picture, she'd be scared shitless to tell the truth. What is she going to say, "becuase she left my religion?" What a petty excuse to not have anything to do with someone. And yet, you had to courage to walk away, even in the face of losing all your friends. A religion that is told to preach the word from the roof tops is also too ashamed to admit certain teachings that they hold dear to their hearts. I'm sorry, I have zero respect whatsoever for your sister and the way she has treated you. As far as I'm concerned it's her loss. She has denied her own flesh and blood.

Does being a witness give you the right to be just plain rude!

In thier own delusional world self righteousness comes before loving kindness every time. I think your experience has answered your own question.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer