How Do You Get Someone Out? Part 1
I thought it might be advantageous to discuss effective ways of getting someone out of the Borg and to dispel some myths we might be entertaining about beliefs and changing them. In this thread I was hoping to start a discussion about the sociology of the Witness belief system and how this can be used to help people escape from the mental trap they have found themselves in. The first “outside” book I ever read about JW’s was in the late 1970’s by James Beckford. Here is a quote I found useful from his book:
"What is sociologically interesting about JW's is that they derive psychological satisfaction from perceiving a coherent pattern in their beliefs regardless of possible inner inconsistencies, and that, even if they do notice inconsistencies, they can then abrogate personal responsibility for their own beliefs in the safe conviction that someone, somewhere in the WTS must be able to solve the problem. An implicit premise in the argument is usually that, if the perceived inconsistencies were real, then the beliefs would not have gained widespread popularity" (James A. Beckford, "The Trumpet of Prophecy: A sociological Study of Jehovah's Witnesses", p120)Of course this is something many of us can relate to from our own personal experience. When I look back at this in my own life, I can see that I it was not only something I believed in my conscious mind but that it had been ingrained in me as a way of life. It wasn't something I thought about, and it was just a truth for me. It was in my subconscious mind. Before then, I had not realized that I had any other choices for beliefs. As long as I kept that belief I would keep making choices, which would prove that belief to be true.
So, what started the process by which dubs wake up? Perhaps psychology might have a few insights for you.
I would like to start by sharing something I learned in college and it was an experiment in which our professor decided to do in real time instead of just having us read about it. He happened to know on that particular day of class that one of the students, a woman, was going to be coming in late to class. So, right after class started, he told everyone who was there that we were going to test belief systems today and what he was going to do was draw three straight horizontal lines on the chalkboard. Two of the lines would be almost exactly the same length but the third line was going to be several inches shorter. He then told us that next he was going to ask for a show of hands of everyone who thought these three lines were the same length, and he wanted us all to raise our hands, even though we obviously knew they were not. So, the stage was set and shortly after the late student arrived in class, he did his experiment and all of us raised our hands to agree that the lines were all the same length even though they were not. Interestingly, so did the late student who was not privy to the experiment.
He asked her a moment later to come up to the board and take a look at the lines. She did and after looking at them up close she admitted that they were not the same length. He asked her then why she raised her hand with everyone else. I expected her to say that it was because she didn’t want to look stupid or something but she argued passionately that she really believed the lines were the same length because everyone was raising their hands.
How well we know this from our own dub days! We can look at the things we passionately believed in then but recognize now how mistaken we were. This is the power of groupthink. When you subscribe to a belief and you are surrounded by others who believe the same thing, there is a strong tendency for you to conform your powers of perception to the group standards.
RULE 1: The less they attend meetings and associate with other Witnesses, the less they will be influenced by groupthink.
RULE 2: The more time you can associate with them either in person or otherwise, the more influence you will have on them.
As you all know, the Witnesses are terrified of talking to apostates because they will hear something they would rather not know. So you might ask, is there something again from psychology we can use here to help us get our information across to someone inside we want to help?
Well think of the situation like this. Let’s say you personally had a phobia about snakes. I mean just the word “snake” gives you a sick feeling in your stomach. We all know that people can over come their phobias by gradual exposure from non threatening means and eventually disarm the emotions that accompany the phobia. In therapy, the first session might be something along the lines of just talking about snakes. In future sessions a very comical children’s toy snake may be sitting on the therapists’ desk during the conversation, and depending upon the progress, some photographs of real snakes might be shown to the patient. Eventually, these baby steps lead to further and more realistic exposure to the point where the patient actually touches and interacts with a real snake.
We can use this same approach then in getting someone to talk to us. If you are on speaking terms then with the party you are trying to help, use this next rule:
RULE 3: Talk about your life. The positive changes you are making. The accomplishments you have had. Don’t argue doctrine. Don’t rub their nose in WTS scandal.
In time, after frequent contact in a non-threatening way, you can go to the next rule:
RULE 4: Gradually introduce subjects that are more controversial in an objective way. Don’t engage in extended debate over it, as this works to make you look like the enemy. Always put the burden of proof on them. Ask them to help you understand things.
If you don’t enjoy the ability to communicate freely with the person you are trying to help, use the back door approach. Perhaps you can find out their email address and where they go online. You can then pretend to be someone who doesn’t know them (a newly interested person) and really play the part and ask some questions…and let them study with you online (not in person of course). This is a more dangerous approach as you can never let them on to who you really are but if you don’t have any other choice in the matter, a long shot might be better than nothing. Anyway, just follow the rules above and over time start asking the tough questions, always making them give you an answer that requires research on their part, and show what is wrong with it.
To be continued at a later time…
Any comments thus far?
Skipper