A Tale Of 2 Witties, Part 1.

by Englishman 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Some years back I moved into a new house on a new estate, quite near to where my Mother lives, and even closer to where Radar lives now.

    We were one of the first to move in, and, after several weeks, our first neighbours began to arrive. They were a family comprising husband, wife, 1 son and 3 daughters. We exchanged greetings and each family showed the other around our new houses which were of the linked to each other design.

    A week or so later, I noticed my Mother pulling up outside in her car, but, instead of coming to my home she got into a long conversation with my new neighbour who was tending to his front garden. Eventually, she came to my house and I could see by the stricken look upon her face that something was wrong.

    "You have a new neighbour", she blurted. I said, yes, very nice fella blah blah, and then she said again, "You have a new neighbour, I know him, I said I know him. From The Kingdom Hall".

    Ah, now I saw the reason for her panic. I told her not to worry, he would never hear it from me that I was an ex, dont worry Mum, I won't give him a hard time.

    She was taken aback at this and then told me that she had told HIM that I was DF'd. I was furious, this guy doesn't know me from Adam, and here was my own Mother spreading WT propaganda and messing up any chance of me having a friendly relationship with my next door neighbours. Mum and I parted that day on very bristly tems.

    A few days later I went into the back garden, and there was Mr. JW trying to put in fence posts, digging a hole with a spade that only had half a handle. This is how the conversation went:

    "You can borrow my spade" I said.

    "Grunt" from him.

    "It's a nice new one", I ventured.

    "I can't speak to you" he mumbled.

    "Really why's that?" from me.

    "Because you're in a disfellowshipped state", he replied.

    "Really why's that?" me again.

    "I don't know why you were disfellowshipped", he said, "Its GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!"

    "So you don't even know why you are not allowed to talk to me, is that what you are saying?"

    This really threw him, and he stomped off inside the house.

    A few days later, my wife and I were awoken by screaming and crying from the adjoining house next door. I recognised the crying as that of the 18 year old witness daughter, she sounded very distressed and I was about to get dressed and run around to next door to see what was wrong, when I heard Dad's voice thundering through the partition wall. "Get down on you hands and knees and beg for Jehovah's forgiveness", he roared, "You absolutely disgust me you vile creature!"

    We were stunned, I had never heard a Father treat anyone with such a harsh contempt, and my heart went out to the daughter who later visited my then local pub The Unicorn to seek me out....

    End of part 1.

    In Part 2, JW's move into the adjoining house on the other side! I'm surrounded!

    Englishman.

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

  • Simon
    Simon

    Both sides? Jeepers - sounds like some scary setup from an old B movie!

  • Xena
    Xena

    OMG Englishman...you poor poor man!

    Eagerly awaiting the next chapter.....

  • Celia
    Celia

    Wow, great story, just amazing,
    can't wait for part 2 !

  • individuals wife
    individuals wife

    E'man - you have my deepest sympathies, and we know how you feel, JWs to the left of us, JWs to the right of us, JWs down the street... feels like you are being watched every time you step out of your door - guess whos having the biggest Christmas tree ever outside their front door this year?

    Come on, come on, don't keep us in suspense, we want part 2, we want part 2, we want part 2!

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    Ditto! Can't wait for part two.

  • closer2fine
    closer2fine

    Where's part two??????

    closer

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Eman

    Jeepers. The invasion of the mind snatchers. Waiting too.

    SS

  • radar
    radar

    Englishman

    Look forward to the next installment.

    Whoops

    maybe I am able to add a little to your story eh?

    Radar

    All that we see or seem/ Is but a dream within a dream.

    -Edgar Allen Poe

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    OK, Radar, by all means add what you know.

    Incidentally everyone, Radar and I have never met, it was only when I read his story on AJWRB that I recognised his address on his letter to the Society.

    More to come!

    Englishman.

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

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