shunning apostates children

by jurs 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • jurs
    jurs

    I was aware when I DA'd myself that I would be shunned. What I didn't expect was how my children would be treated by brothers and sisters. The first thing that happened was a friend of my daughters told them that she couldn't play with them again. No phone calls or anything. OK that wasn't too surprising. Then another girl, whose mother studies with witnesses, told my daughter, how a certain family in my hall all came over to her house dressed in meeting clothes and were there to talk to her about her playing with my daughter. They told her she shouldn't play with my kids anymore. That surprised me. Today, I took my 2 daughters to school with me. ( I started beauty school and needed a model to practice on ) anyway a JW from my kingdom hall goes to school with me. She shunns me but today she shunned my 2 kids !!!! They are only 10 and 11 !!!!
    I can't belive I ever thought it was a loving organization.
    jurs

  • somebody
    somebody

    hi jurs,

    shuning your children makes about as much sence as the teaching if one speaks a greeting to a Df'd or Da'd person, they are guilty of being part of whatever sin the da'd or df'd one supposedly is not repentent of. Imagine that? I could have been guilty of taking part in the sin of a df'd or da'd one, but I wouldn't know what sin I was part of! I'm gald you got out, and I'm sorry your children have to be treated in the horrible manner that they are and were at your school. If anything good comes out of it, your children will know what the products of the wtbs are really like and will never return to it. And it also gives all the other students a look at the way JWs are trained to treat others. Even innocent childen.

    peace,
    somebody

  • Stephanus
    Stephanus

    This is where the shunning thing really sucks - any mob who'd take out their vendetta against the childrens' parents on the children themselves is a less than moral group. Scum, actually. Perhaps you should complain to your school's administration about the treatment of your kids by another student. Most educational institutions these days have rules against harrassment and try to practice equal opportunity.

    It's not even biblical - the Torah does not allow children to partake of punishment for parents' crimes, nor parents for the crimes of children. These are just sick, small-minded people who drag the name of God through the mud for their own sadistic pleasure.

  • jonjonsimons
    jonjonsimons

    Jurs,
    It's sick and it's twisted and there is no explination or excuse for it. You are correct, it is not a truly loving organiztion. I have witnessed this type of behavior in the past and it turns my stomache. Years ago a good friend of mine was DF'd. She had 2 children ages 12 and 14. Some of the sisters in our congo decided that they could no longer invite the kids to social gatherings within the congregation. When I asked why I was told by one elders wife to mind my own business. When I persisted she said that she couldn't in good conscience allow her children to associate with them since they no longer had any spiritual influence in their lives. I thought that was a crock of shit and I told her just that. Well that started WW3 in our congo but that's another story.

    I would suggest that you try as best you can to insulate your kids from those that treat them that way. We as adults can "take it" if we choose to, but kids can be damaged emotionally from this type of experience.

    One personal word of warning. Not to throw scare tactics around but I try to pass this along to any DF'd or DA'd person I meet that have young children. I don't know the status of the remainder of your family with the borg. If you have close family that are still witnesses I want to tell you about what happened to my oldest sister. She tried to explain until she was blue in the face to the elders in her congo that her husband, who was also a JW was abusive to her and the children. They gave her the normal spiel about how everything was her fault blah blah blah. She decided that the only way out of the marriage was to commit adultery so that she could get a divorce. She had a one night stand with a coworker and was DF'd. During the divorce proceedings our father and 2 other elders in the congo testified for her ex husband to get custody of the kids since they believed my sister to be an unfit mother. Of course it was ok for them to be left with an abusive father who was still a JW as long as they weren't with their DF'd mother who was trying to protect herself and them from that sick fuck. It worked and it took her 5 years to regain custody. Like I said I don't know if any of this applies to your situation but I just wanted to pass along the info just in case there is someone lurking that might need it. Sadly sometimes when you leave the WT you can't even trust your own family.

    Peace and love to you and yours,
    Jon

  • StifflersErSlayersBrother
    StifflersErSlayersBrother

    So yer kids are to be punished for your beliefs. Can you believe my parents used that excuse on my brother to try and bring him BACK to the meetings??? "We just dont want to see our grandkids destroyed because of what you believe" Yea, thats gonna make someone wanna believe in a god that will destroy kids for sumthing their rents dont believe. If thats how it werks, then if armageddon does come, he'll be just fine because THEY believe in it... Funny mathmatics

  • Andee
    Andee

    Hi Jurs,

    I'm saddened to hear about your children being shunned.

    When my Mother (just stopped going to meetings) and my Aunt (who was
    DF'd) were shunned by their witness family, (me, my siblings, and cousins) were shunned right along with them. It has been 20 years since the whole family has been together.

    One particularly sad story happened to my cousin. About 10 years ago one of my shunned cousins bumped into one of our witness cousins. She
    introduced herself as "your Aunt so and sos daughter". He just retorted back with a disgusted tone in his voice he declared "I don't HAVE an Aunt so and so" and just left my poor other cousin completely humiliated. Her only "sin" was to be the daughter of a DF'd witness.

    Loving organization, INDEED!

    Andee

    "Head in the clouds with feet firmly planted on the ground"

  • seven006
    seven006

    It seems to be a common practice among some who embrace christian religious thought especially in relation to the JW sect that children are an extension of their parents in more than genetic make up but also belief and spirit. Once someone has been branded "the enemy" every being seemingly attached to them are automatically associated with them in action and mindset by the thought of being guilty by association. Even though it may sound ridicules I'm sure the family dog of a disfellowshipped person will be positions in the same light and not be allowed to play with the dog of a faithful witness. Since the believer positions themselves in their mind on the opposite side of their definition of evil anyone or anything that is not standing along side of them in their thoughts are considered evil. Thus the grasp of christian philosophy that ensnares the JW mind.

    As shown throughout the bible it's god doesn't blink an eyelash at the thought of killing those associated with ones that are considered his enemies, children especially. It is the christian resolve to praise the actions of their god and kill what they do not accept and not accept what is different whether in physical a death or spiritual one. Different levels of christian philosophy share basic belief's but very in some of its many grey areas. The symbolic and the actual are often interpreted in ones particular sect virtually remolding words and thought to fit social or political pressure in a sense to reject common stupidity and accept only the root in which the stupidity branches from. Some even teeter more on the side of basic humanity while still trying to hold onto the christian banner as a symbol of a root belief. It's unfortunate that the bible has never stated an exact cut off point in which a child is accountable for themselves and no longer doomed by the thoughts of their parents. Hate, bias, prejudice, and social identity are a learned trait whereas love is instinctive. I guess in the eyes of the god of the bible love is just never enough. It appears to be that the life of a child that seems to be so important to the christian side in the debate concerning abortion has no meaning to their god after its birth if it is indeed the child of an unbeliever.

    This crap never ceases to make me shake my head in disbelief.

    Dave

  • Princess
    Princess

    I've wondered about this for awhile. My son was an infant when we left and my daughter wasn't born yet. I have wondered how they would be treated by witnesses as they grew older. My grandpa died last night so this afternoon I took my kids over to visit my grandma who is still a loyal dub. While we were there, two witnesses came to visit and completely ignored my kids and I. It was as if we weren't there. Weird and incredibly rude. We aren't df'd or da'd.

    Princess

  • Esmeralda
    Esmeralda

    Unfortunately, I have experience with this topic as the shunned child, and the shunned parent watching it effect her child as well.

    My father was df'd for awhile before I was even born. I didn't even know about it until I was 11. Even though he was reinstated, (also before I was born) we were always treated as 'weak' and I didn't understand why people treated us like we were never really welcome at the Hall. Now that I'm grown and gone I know what was going on. It was a unique kind of hell.

    I try to explain over and over to my daughter (she's five) that she's done nothing and that it's because of Mom that members of the family act so weird around us (Like when we passed them at the hospital where I was watching over my critically ill dad). The other day she told me that she doesn't like the meetings one bit but that her dad still makes her go. I told her it won't be that way forever.

    She's caught in this horrible netherworld. Sometimes she cries and feels guilty about celebrating her birthday, but she doesn't believe what my ex is teaching her about Armageddon and all her non JW relatives dying.

    Its insane. It shows how destructive the mind control used by the organization is. I'm sorry this is happening to you jurs, and your children. The only comfort that I can take personally from my situation with this type of treatment is that their actions are helping to insure that my child will never want to be like them when she grows up.

    *hugs*
    essie

  • jayhawk1
    jayhawk1

    This does not surprise me. When I have kids I will teach them that Jehovah's Witnesses will likely do this to them. As far as I am concerned, my children can shun them right back. Who needs them?

    "Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford

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