*brainwave*
Can you guys think of some other Thread Species?
The Trivia/Fluff Which Is Entirely Off Topic ThreadCommonly found inhabiting the brackish waters surrounding the territories of the trolls, these threads can be quite flighty and nervous, so approach them with care. Known for their stark, bright plumage, which occasionally consists of hundreds of huge, Internet-Explorer-choking JPEGs, these threads are most likely to be seen during the evening.
The Thread Started Exclusively For The Purpose Of Flaming Another Thread ThreadNot generally found too often at the top of the Active List, but highly recognizable when they do make an appearance, this rather inflammatory species of thread has been noted by many Threadophiles, and the sketch of this thread is usually accompanied by hasty scrawled remarks, usually along the lines of "godd*mn poodle pack" and the incindiary "inner circle makes an appearance again". Sometimes (although very rarely) these threads are not designed to flame, but to tittilate and mock, which brings us to the next species:
The Thread Whose Title Is Subtly Different From Another Thread Where A Lot Of Flaming Recently Occurred ThreadDastardly as they may seem to the weak of eye who accidently stumble into the thickets of threads of this species, leading said weak-of-eye-stumblers to an irrational belief in the Ghod of Threads, since nothing else can explain the sudden, dramatic change in the flow and woof of the thread they thought they were gonna see, these threads may actually serve the very important ecological purpose of diverting attention away from:
The UNASHAMED, GOSHDARNITTOHECKOMFG, IM GO1|\|G 2 FL4M3 J00 L4MM4, H4W J00 4R3 SUX0R1NG!!!!!!1111111 ThreadFrequently seen at intervals of approximately three to four months, these virulent and often highly flammable threads, known for their caustic, site-dividing nature, are the kind of thread where everybody who posts takes a side, even if they don't know about it or never really addressed the subject matter (which is optional) of this kind of thread. Usually started with a seemingly innocuous, but actually lethal comment, these threads can spawn into gigantic, site-hosing monsters that can give little children nightmares. Besides being the cause of many stomach ulcers and some unkind words, during the feeding frenzy, these threads can spawn child threads, which themselves all have the potential of soon resembling their parents. Worse for you than a size 10 boot up the arse (unlubricated!), these threads are to be avoided at all costs, and preferably shot on "site". Which brings us to our next topic, a species of threads started by only one person, who many people while not wanting to shoot him or her on site, would certainly love to turn him into a barbeque treat of some sort:
The YOU KNOW End Of The World ThreadOften seen hovering and sneering around the site just before the month of October, these distinctive threads are easy to spot, and a joy to add to any Threadophile's notebook. They never vary - they are always about how Lyndon Larouche has predicted the economic system of the entire planet is going to collapse because someone farted at a delicate moment during negotiations in Peking, thereby leading the world ass-first into oblivion. Oh, and vultures are key players, apparently. Did you know their population has been increasing of late?
The Thread Which Nobody UnderstandsNormally started by people with only 1 post to their name, these cryptic little messages are very nervous and panicky, and will often run if confronted head-on by more knowledgeable board members. Often composed of only a handful of lines, usually resembling "YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE. MWUHAHAH" or "WHAT DO I TYPE IN THIS BOX COMPUTER MACHINE?", these threads all have two common characteristics: 1. They are always in ALL CAPITALS, and 2. The person posting the thread either has their email locked or it points to AOL.
The Weighty Intellectual Thread Which Almost As Many People Fully Understand As The Previous Species Of ThreadA dramatic opposite of the preceding thread, this thread is pages and pages long, sometimes scrolling so far down that you need to superglue your "DOWN" key to the keyboard and go and have dinner before it'll hit the bottom. Doubtlessly appreciated by many of the fine Apostates on this board, these threads are probably better when broken down into bite-sized chunks and covered with a light pistachio sauce with just a touch of garlic.
The Major Lifestyle Change Announcement ThreadFilled with such famous landmarks in JWD History (TM) as "I'm Moving To The Other Side Of My Bedroom For A Few Weeks", "My Cat Coughed Up A Giant Furball", "What I Did With My Pencil At The Convention, And How It Changed My Life Forever", "Why I Am Now A Creationist", and my all time favourite, "My Computer Exploded, So I Have Come To An 'Arrangement' With The Owner Of My Local Internet Cafe, May He Rest In Peace", these threads are usually intended only for a very specific audience with similiar interests.
The Thread That Was Actually Quite Serious, But Got Hijacked By A Bunch Of Newly Sexually Liberated XJW Folk ThreadVictim of the familiar seek-out-the-nearest-orgy impulse of many people who, upon leaving the BORG, suddenly realize that it's OK to take out Mr Johnson and give him a right proper seeing-to, these threads normally start out earnestly, usually calling up a point for debate, but the exact phrasing of one or two sentences in said serious post will cause another poster to call into question the true motives of the thread author, and after this a steaming debate on the finer aspects of sadomasochism is bound to follow!
The Thread That Got Almost The Highest Number Of Page Views Ever On JWD, Yet Was Locked To The Consternation Of The Aforementioned Newly Sexually Liberated XJW Folk (NSLXJWF) Thread
Skeptics abound as to the existence of this particular species of thread, with some saying that the lone specimen available for scientific study is merely a sport, a mutation, but critics of the skeptics have stated that the skeptics are in fact merely looking for a reason to fight, and people do occasionally drop in and have a look at the extreme nature of the thread, most of the images of which have since started to resemble the dreaded red CROSS.
The Thread Where Two People With Diametrically Opposing Viewpoints On Exactly The Same Piece Of Scripture Will Go At It Head To Head, Yet Nobody Will Ever Notice Because Everyone Else Is Busy Posting On The Aforementioned Thread That Got Almost The Highest Number Of Page Views Ever On JWD, Yet Was Locked To The Consternation Of The Aforementioned Newly Sexually Liberated XJW Folk (NSLXJWF) Thread
I think this one's title just about says it all LOL