Passive-aggressive behavior/posting

by onacruse 17 Replies latest social relationships

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  onacruse

  Having had a few days to reflect on this, and resolving some conflicts, I'd like to explore this P/A aspect of human behavior.

  First off, let me say that I am oftentimes P/A, usually as an effort to elicit the deeper meanings of other people.

  However, sometimes I'm P/A because I'm not really sure of where I'm going in a topic: My indecision presents a P/A.

  And then there are times when I'm P/A, not even knowing it.

  This last realization was presented to me by another poster, some time back, when he pointed out to me how often the WTS uses P/A in their literature. I had never noticed it. It was just part of my upbringing, my conditioning, and I naturally adopted that "way" of behaving as normal.

  So, as another little P/A post : In terms of "relationships," when does being P/A become a truly negative behavior?
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  Abandoned

  When? When the end result is the manipulation of an unwilling subject.
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  IP_SEC

  In terms of "relationships," when does being P/A become a truly negative behavior?

  It always is negative in my op.

  Now that being said I think there are times when someone may be perceived as being P/A when they are really just playfully BSing.
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  juni

  In terms of "relationships," when does being P/A become a truly negative behavior?

  Nothing positive comes from continual passive/aggressive behavior. We all do it to some extent cause there are times that we're pissed at someone and just don't know how to deal w/the problem w/the person so we withdraw. But eventually we do come around and talk it out. That is healthy.

  Some people use P/A behavior to manipulate the other person so they remain "in control". When this continues there is no working out the problem. Resentment grows and the relationship withers and dies.

  Juni
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  bernadette

  hi ona

  sounds interesting/worth exploring but don't understand what you mean by passive/aggressive behaviour - maybe you could give an example?

  bernadette
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  Sad emo

  Fascinating question onacruse.

  At the moment, it could be said that I am actively engaging in P/A behaviour with someone. They constantly try to wind me up into reacting negatively towards them - but instead I choose to consciously ignore them (fingers in ears, la-la-la mode lol!). They are annoying to me, but I'm ignoring their behaviour because I know to react outwardly would bring far more negative results to any relationship that exists.

  Guess what I'm suggesting is that P/A, even though of itself is negative, can be turned more positive when it is being used as a damage limitation exercise.
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  IP_SEC

  damage limitation exercise

  The best damage limitation exercise is to just leave them to wallow in their own self misery... forever.
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  betterdaze

  What juni says! Couldn't have put it better.
  
  ~Sue
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  Sad emo

  The best damage limitation exercise is to just leave them to wallow in their own self misery... forever.

  lol - trust me, the fact that I don't react to this guy the way he wants me to makes him wallow good and proper!!

  I kinda hope (maybe foolishly) that he'll look at his behaviour and some day realise that it's not acceptable and take steps to change and heal the hurt that's been done to him in the past rather than wallow in it.

  emo - of the 'been there, done that' class
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  Narkissos

  I am always amazed at the creativity of American/English psychological typology... there seems to be a label for every personality and behaviour.

  As the above remark makes plain, I probably suit the p/a type in many ways.

  I tend to believe that we understand each other much more than we let it appear. And that explicit verbalisation, in many cases, doesn't help -- or, worse, is a subtle way to conceal how we really feel under apparent (but slightly deceptive) clarity.

  Ambiguity, irony, evasiveness, are all parts of human communication. What we really mean we eventually manage to get across one way or another. And the way we express it is just as important as what we express. I'd kindly but definitely resist any attempt to force me to be "clearer" or more "straightforward" than I want to.

  That must be a cultural thing too. Some cultures are definitely more explicit than others.

  (Sorry for the repeated empty posts again: I don't know if it's my computer or JWD, but this has been happening many times in the last few days...)