Resurrection Shuffle

by PopeOfEruke 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    One of JW "beliefs" that was and still is most confusing to me is the condition of married persons after the resurrection. In particular, if one marriage partner dies before the big A and then gets resurrected.

    Its surprising how many JW's hold sacred their own private interpretation on this.

    Generally I found that if the marriage had been a happy one, a lot of JW's believe if the surviving marriage partner does not remarry, then they will end up back with their dead-but-back-again married partner after the resurrection. In a normal sexual marriage relationship.

    If the survivng partner does remarry however, the the old chestnut gets rolled out about people in the resurrection "will neither get married or be given in marriage." So the new marriage takes precedence over the original marriage. This is of course exactly the opposite of what the JW's require of the faithful polygamous Africans who must revert ot their original wife if they convert to Dubism.

    So what happens to the dead husband or wife who comes back only to find their mate happily shacked up with Bro/Sis. X, (who they always suspected of flirting with their partner back in good old system)?

    Some dubs believe they can remarry, because the scripture is really only talking about getting remarried to the original mate. They just marry someone else....

    Other dubs believe in a strict interpretation of the rule, so that even if the survivng partner does not remarry, the resurrected partner can not remarry anyone. So in the new system we have a couple who perhaps had been married for 55 years, now alive again in perfect health, living next door to each other maybe, but only one may remarry, and to SOMEONE ELSE! The resurrected guy/gal is punished by having his or her goolies cut off or dried up, but regardless of any sexual aspect, can't even live with the person he or she loves. He can watch through the open window at his loved one enjoying life with their new partner.

    Will all the resurrected goolie-less people somehow clan together and form some sort of outcast group? Live in ghettos? Will they have sexual organs that don't function or will there just be smooth skin "down there"? Will they attempt dry-humping in some evil parody of normal life relationships? Imagine mass dry-humping parties by hundreds of these dark-eyed pallid ghouls, probably held in old graveyards!!

    This is just so horrific to me. But at least its one area where I have noticed that the dubs are allowed at least a little lee-way by the Borg leaders in self-interpretation of scripture. Perhaps not so much allowed but somehow tolerated.

    Pope

  • jimbob
    jimbob

    This is a topic that has always been at the back of my mind and has always bothered me. It's amazing to me that they say if your marriage mate dies before armageddon........TOO BAD! But you can be friends.... Another stupid interpretation which doesn't make any sense and is really upsetting if you think about it. By the way POPE.......my wife and I have never laughed so hard at a thread as much as we did about your thread on clapping. I was ROTFLMAO!! Then I showed it to my wife and walked away while she read it. All I kept hearing was her busting up laughing. Everything you said was so true. Thanks for the good laugh. While many of us are upset over JW stuff, it's good to laugh sometimes about some of the stupid shit that went on....

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    I was always told that regarding ressurected ones..Jehovah would remove the sexual and physical yearnings that we are accustomed to...I don't recall anyone thinking that he would remove their genitals. Dry humping ghoulies in the ghetto never entered my head - til now, sheesh.

    Apparently, this is how someone reasoned it with me, when someone remarries, their former relationship with their deceased but resurrected partner would be as a friend, brother or sister, not as the loving partner they once were. Jehovah would look after this for us, he would remove the physical desire from the resurrected one, and apparently he would remove their emotional need for their former partner also. Sounds kinda like stepfords if you ask me.

    How about that, you get to live forever and ever and you can't bonk anyone, but you can watch your former partner bonking someone else and having fun family time with YOUR kids. Paradise, what a great place to be.

    jimbob: I can't believe you laughed at the clapping thread LOL.

    Just kidding!

    ~Beck~

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    So OK the resurrected guy can't marry the former wife, thats clear. But then why can't he marry anyone else?

    Jehovah has supposedly just resurrected him with all his wedding tackle in place BUT.....the goddamn tackle don't work.!!! Isn't that torture?? Why not save the resurrection energy and leave the tackle off! Makes no sense to me. Its like giving a little child a lollipop thats hermetically sealed in plastic. The lollipop looks nice but its useless for sucking.

    This whole belief just is so petty. AND WRONG.

    Pope

    PS
    jimbob : thanks for nice words! Even when I was still IN the clapping at assemblies always gave me the heebie-jeebies.

  • wasasister
    wasasister
    So OK the resurrected guy can't marry the former wife, thats clear. But then why can't he marry anyone else?

    The idea, as best I can recall, is that those resurrected will be "like the angles", thus sexless, not given in marriage. When anyone asked about how this would be possible, the standard answer was, "Jehovah promised us we would be happy. Leave it to Him to work out the details."

    It was not so much that he/she could not remarry a former spouse, but that marriage of any kind would be out of the picture.

    My nagging doubt was this: if resurrected humanity was truly "like the angels", is that not referring only to the heavenly resurrection? Angels are spirit creatures. At the time Jesus supposedly said this, only the Heavenly resurrection was an option. Nobody ever answered that for me and after awhile, I grew tired of the funny looks when I asked.

    Wasa/of the hoping to keep the genitalia class

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    Wassa, I love your posts...I could follow you around all day reading your stuff.

    BUT.....the goddamn tackle don't work.!!! Isn't that torture??

    Same deal as Wassa, Jehovah would take care of it. Someone (I think an elder) once said that older folks who are happily married and who don't have sex anymore, though they be dull, are quite happy and content with the companionship. I'm talking super old, not old as in Bob Dylan old LOL.

    So they still have their tackle and bits but they only use them to pee with, ya get it yet?
    I guess dirty thoughts won't affect them like they do catholic priests and such.

    Of course I don't believe any of this rubbish now, but that's how things were reasoned with me. It still left me with gaping huge doubts, but when you're born into the cult, you just rely on blind faith.

    ~Beck~

  • julien
    julien

    The reason this scripture is even troublesome for the witlesses is that they try to shoehorn it into their (IMHO) erroneous 'two-class' system. If you read the scripture as though it is talking about Christians who are resurrected to heaven, it makes sense.

  • wasasister
    wasasister

    Ahhh, Beck! You made my day, honestly.

    I've been on a bit of a downer lately and your kind words made me smile. You're sweet to have said that.

    I think I can make it another day now!

    Wasa

  • stichione
    stichione

    This is all WTS hogwash. When Jesus in Mark 12: 25 refers to those who rise from the dead saying they do not marry but are like angels in heaven, he is referring to those who would be resurrected and go to heaven. There is obviously no sex in heaven! All Christians who have faith in Jesus Christ and follow in his footsteps receive God's Holy Spirit and become heavenly heirs. Jesus never spoke of persons having an earthly hope, only a heavenly one.

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    Wasa

    I'm glad I made your day....I was gonna say something on another thread but I never got around to it. Sorry you're having a down day...me too for some strange reason. It seems we cheered each other up today

    ~Beck~

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit