by jgnat 34 Replies latest watchtower bible
"When you receive an encouraging shepherding visit, why not express appreciation for it?" WT May 1, 2006, p. 21 pp. 16.
Sorry for stealing your thunder Blondie, but this suggestion really struck home. I thought it might be a good time for some of you who received a shepherding visit recently, to express how you really felt about it.
It was total BS. My wife and I felt embarrassed the entire time. We finally admitted our terrible sins - not having family study regularly and not praying enough. We both looked at the floor and felt bad about ourselves while the two "brothers" read us scriptures about how we could do so much better.
I have a story to tell you.
Some years ago when I was doing my best as a JW and really trying hard to do the right thing with the other JW girls I lived with our Book Study conductor asked if he could come around with another elder for a shepherding call. Well naturally we were all packing it wondering what it was that we had done.
The day came. Turned out the elders wanted to commend us on how we were doing and to let us know how it had been noticed that we try hard etc etc. Not one word of you should do better. Just full on encouragement to keep up the good work. These elders were not the norm though. They were those good men who didn't do it for the power trips.
Fast Forward a few years later
virtually ignored by the elders until they find out I have a non JW boyfriend. Out of the blue they want to do a shepherding call. Basically I thanked them for their interest and told them it wasn't necessary. I had to repeat myself a few times and admittedly they were very angry about it but I stood my ground.
Good for those good elders, and good for you miss peaches for standing your ground.
I did a shepherding call once with a very nice elder, someone I respected for the most part. Interestingly for prep, we looked an an article for how people were valuable in Jehovah's eyes and as well thinking of ways they personally were valuable in the congregation.
I hope that elder one day realizes the truth about The Truth™. Would be nice.
ackack
Perhaps I'm incorrect but don't the elders doing the so Called "Shepherding Visit" Count the Time?
The only time my ex-husband calls our non-JW daughters or son, he trys to force the Literature on them. He says He cares. My youngest daughter says "Yeah Right!"
The only shepherding call I ever got in 12 years was the one as I was trying to fade quietly away from the congregation.
This esculated into harrasement and the elders coming by all hours of day and night to try to intimidate me into explaining why I was not at the meetings. I Kept telling them it was a personal matter and I need time to figure it out. What I really needed was time to write my DA letter.
I finally gave them my 9 page DA letter a few weeks later, which contained lots of questions about the WT interpretation of scripture and the scriptures from the NWT to back up my beliefs on the issues. I told them I would gladly welcome them back IF they came with answers to my questions and could show me biblically where I was wrong. That was 2 years ago and I am still waiting.(not really)
I have had a few. Shepherding calls are supposed to be neutral and scheduled. They aren't (necessarily) supposed to be in response to a specific misdeed or event, though often they are. I have had some that were just in the normal course of events, and a couple that were specifically because I "screwed up."
The latter one of those I dare not describe, because it would identify me easily to anybody who cared to hunt me down. Someday I will post the whole story on here.
I can tell you about one older one where the dude just SHOWED UP AT MY HOUSE UNANNOUNCED. At like 830pm. I guess another shepherding call had fallen through, and he was all dressed up with no place to go. And what was I going to do? The kids got to stay up late, we made coffee, and the guy "shepherded" us. It basically consisted of the usual mantra of "you have so much talent and potential, won't you please reach out in the congregation?" and me saying "kthxbye."
EDIT: In most cases, no, the elders cannot count time for shepherding calls. Only if the subject is unbaptized.
I turned down a shepherding call because I was so afraid of being confronted and disfellowshipped. The elders may have had the best intentions, but I was a fearful fader and could not take the chance.
Jgnat, thank you for the pm about some of my wedding mishaps from another thread. I can receive pm's, but cannot send them as I am a mac/safari user. You are so right about that Oprah bride; the wedding day is such a small part of this thing called marriage.
Eva
Shepherding calls are a joke at best, in first hall out here went there 4 years, we received one shepherding call, next hall again there four years and we received 2 calls, both (related to you could do more, I was doing 18-20 hours a month then) It took the second of the calls at the 2nd hall to realize that nothing we or I did would ever be enough. The next hall I went too, we never received a shepherding call, the one after that just one and they tried to frame mischief, first question out of their mouth was did we still recognize the FDS, 2nd was did we think Jehoober was using the FDS and GB, 3RD was did we believe jesus was crowned king in 1914, and 4th was did we believe Jesus and Jehober were using the GB to guide us today, i ignored the questions and asked them why would you ask something like that, is this the 3rd degree or is this a shepherding call? I then told them God used the Catholic Church to come up with the bible did he not, and if he can use them he can use anyone or any organization to accomplish his will, the fact of Jesus being crowned King was something we had been taught by the society, the 3rd response i gave them was people and or organizations making extraordinary claims were due to provide extraordinary evidence of such claims were they not, they agreed, and when asked what the extraordinary evidence was in the case of The jehovah witnesses being chosen by Jesus other than growth, they had no answer and quickly switched tactics.
They came here for trouble not to shepherd, there were 3 elders, and we couldn't for the life of us figure out what they were up to other than looking for trouble, one was so overbearing, I told him to take himself out of my house as he wasn't welcome here, and to never under any circumstances cross my threshold again. He was astounded at being talked to like this, but i was adamant, I also told him he came looking for trouble not to help and his reputation as a "gunslinger or hitman" wasn't going to fly in my house and NOW GET OUT OF HERE. Well he left and to my surprise the other two stayed here and became quite civil after that, they even apologized for the questins he had asked, as they said he was like that, they were quite amused at my telling him to get out of my house as no one had ever spoken to him like that before and that when at all possible they wouldn't take him on shephereding calls. He that elder I told to leave to this day won't hardly talk to me and when he does he can't look me in the eye.
I also told the remaining two that this was a poor excuse for a shepherding call, that if they really in fact cared about the flock they would be looking after it all the time, not just the pioneers and the elderly and their friends, that Jesus care everyday about the flock, not just once a year or once every two years like this particular congregation liked to do. That, that was shepherding or caring that was just fulfilling obligations due to fact that the new C.O. was a stickler for congregational elders doing shepherding work.
Yeah, the whole shepherding business was a buch of hooey. Never was it upbuilding, except when I told the hitman to get out of my house, that was upbuilding and worth all of the effort.
