Posts by apostawriter

i posted awhile back, been "lurking" pretty much daily over the past months and from reading everyone's posts - i actually have gotten to know some of you... sort of... if you read my profile you will know i was a lifer, pretty much knee deep in the 'borg (picking up the slang.... i stopped cold turkey last fall - didn't go to memorial, special assembly day, district convention, circuit assembly... no field service in almost a year... these are all firsts... and i am 40 years old.... guess what, i have ignored phone calls, messages from the cong elders, everyone was panic'd for the first 3 months or so... then it all stopped... no calls... they have written me off i guess... of course it has helped that i moved 45 minutes south of my congo, back to my home town - where everyone in the congs around here know me... the rumor mill has told them something is up, but since i'm not df or da, they don't know how to act - so they just ignore me.... i just need to vent abit - feeling down lately because of the things i have learned - feeling betrayed by my parents for joining such a cult.

blaming jw's for ruining my sister's lives, blaming jw's for wasting my life... i want to go to a meeting and yell during the public talk about how foolish everyone is for belonging to this cult... .

it seems i have accepted the loss all of my conditional friends - hundreds of them in central indiana... i see them at the mall, at restaurants and they look right past me... kinda funny now, but it still hurts when my former friends - even the best man at my wedding - refuses to talk to me or even call to ask what is going on and why i stopped... i am invisible.

apostawriter

Dear Eyes Opened,

Thanks for sharing so much of that. I share a lot of that anger, and while not all of it is gone (I have yet to forgive my family for bringing me up in the Borg), I dealt with a lot of the rage in my novel Tattoo This Madness In. You can read more about it / buy it here: www.DFmeNOW.blogspot.com.

I'm not sure when my anger will subside, but finding this and other forums like this helps a lot. In a word-community.

Daniel www.dfmenow.blogspot.com

1

XJW Novel could get you DF'd

by apostawriter in

jw
friends

hi everybody, i've written one of the first works of fiction ever published about a gay jehovah's witness...do forgive me for bending posting guideline #6, as i should probably share this with you.

if youre a jay-dub, reading tattoo this madness in could get you disfellowshipped.

you would, however, be in fine company.. .

apostawriter

Hi everybody, I've written one of the first works of fiction ever published about a gay Jehovah's Witness...do forgive me for bending posting guideline #6, as I should probably share this with you.

If you’re a ‘jay-dub’, reading Tattoo This Madness In could get you disfellowshipped. You would, however, be in fine company.

To Florida teen Damian Spitz, the only thing more fun than getting shunned by the Jehovah’s Witnesses is dragging his friends with him to Armageddon. Tattooing each of them with a Smurf—the cartoon character the jay-dubs are notoriously afraid of—he descends into a life of pure punk pleasure. The dream mutates when Damian unwittingly forms a cult of his own, and a suicide leads him to explore desires he’s barely ready to handle.

Tattoo This Madness In is a study in sexual transgression, a community manifesto, and a middle finger lifted high.

“If William Burroughs and Clive Barker had a love child and fed it only BooBerry cereal, it's literary output might be as highly charged and frenetic as the sexy bloodbath that is Tattoo This Madness In. I'm waiting any day to hear that Haley Joel Osment has optioned it as his breakout role in an adult lead, now that he's 18 and old enough to do whatever the fuck he wants. TTMI could give him just what he needs -- Smurf tattoos, Jehovah's Witness teen abductions, and gay sex scenes in a burning sports car. Hot, hot, hot."

--Reed Massengill, photographer and author of Portrait of a Racist

"In an edge-of-control world on the manic fringe of apostasy, Daniel Allen Cox
poleaxes us into believing escape is possible. The ink from "Tattoo This
Madness In" stains in the best way imaginable. Cox writes in the same
manner that the needle-man at the core of his drama sins: outrageously,
calculatingly, urgently. He kicked my ass all over the place."

-- Brian Ames, author of "Eighty-Sixed"

I encourage you to pick up a copy and recommend it to who you think might benefit from it...

www.DFmeNOW.blogspot.com

What do you think of the cover?

Daniel

34

What is the JW View of Clowning :o)??

by Seeker4 in

jw
friends

(i threw this into the "jw view of cloning" thread yesterday, and thought maybe a few would like to have some fun with it so i gave it its own thread.

there was this comment in a letter to the body of elders about clowning in march 2003:

"as to the matter of clowning, we can see from phil.

apostawriter

What would the Dubious 12 say about Krumping? (wikipedia it)

daniel

36

My mom calls to chew me out about my college... YIKES!!!

by FreedomFrog in

jw
friends

so, i was happy and celebrating because of getting good grades in my courses, well i get a call from my mom.

at first the phone call was just "hi, how are you" then she laid into me saying my "problem" (meaning my divorce) was because i was putting my education first and not jah.

she goes on to tell me that the "talk today" was about people murmuring as israelites and bad things happened to them.

apostawriter

Froggy, ranting is what this site is for.

I'm disassociated, and for several years, my mom gives me little care packages of food and clothing, and without fail there's a magazine or JW book and an inscription on the inside cover to read it. So I say thank-you, take the book, and put it on my shelf. (It's getting heavier.)

Now the interesting thing is that she's doing it less and less, and I haven't gotten anything in several months. Is this being passive-aggressive on my part? Probably. But maybe that's necessary when you can't have a rational conversation with someone.

Disassociation might work--she might not talk to you. But I don't know if you should disassociate yourself ONLY as a way of dealing with your mom's pestering. You likely have other reasons, of course...

daniel

author of Tattoo This Madness In

www.DFmeNOW.blogspot.com

16

Poor Witnesses

by KW13 in

jw
friends

.

my mum managed to secure a reasonable paying job, it asked that she worked basically full time till the new year because the place has just opened but it would give her a pension (instead of trying to live off a small state pension) when she is older, and there are a few nice 'perks' including staff discounts.. well, despite her managing to get the job while many failed to secure a position, and managing to get through the different interviews and processes she will now drop the job, before she even does the training, yet alone starting it because the wife of an elder on the phone convinced her to take up her daughters 'ironing round' and also give herself more free time, for jehoover things - although she mentioned my mums health and asked if she had energy to do that.. anyway, while i was sat next to mum she said "yeh, i can't see this system lasting much longer" - a stupid gambol i think, its all based on chance.. i shouted at her after, i said why are you doing this?

you need to secure your future, because you don't know what might go wrong with this ironing round thingy and its going to mean travelling to peoples homes, you may lose customers and not gain them, and then i asked how long she's known about 'the witnesses' and we worked out, that since 1985 to now, she came from being disfellowshipped in 1996, meaning for at least 10 years she has been waiting for this end of the system...a long time eh?.

apostawriter

Hi. Yeah, I remember when I was about 13 (17 years ago) and I chose not to go to Florida for summer vacation, as a demonstration of my piousness. The logic was that I should be close to my family and congregation when the end came.

I don't miss anymore vacations.

And I was drilled with all that 'higher education is dangerous' crap. It's a miracle I'm not afraid to open a book.

daniel

author of Tattoo This Madness In

www.DFmeNOW.blogspot.com

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