Renew contact

by Phil 4 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Phil

  I would like to renew contact with my daughter that is now in Paterson,NY living the life of a dedicated JW to the max.

  I would like to use the email as a communicating device. I understand that all JWs are discouraged from conversing on the internet particularly to non-JWs such as my wife and I. I know she has not been appraised of all the ins and outs of the JWs and all she knows is what she is told, no more no less.I feel the oportunity will arise to start this communication but I will need some guidance through this ordeal. My approach is to just ask questions and have her answer the questions as truthful and concise as possible. Many years ago I started this way of conversing and we got tied up in all kinds of scripture with her quoting from the Bible. Getting into this quagmire tends to result into an individuals interpretation making a point in the conversation nearly impossible. Her condition now is such that I feel she needs the love of her parents and she is shutting us out of her life.

  Question: To what degree do they go to discourage or outright prevent such communications. I once started such a connection with a JW and at the outset I asked one simple question that he could not answer and he got mad at me and refused to communicate further. What on earth are these people afraid of?

  I just want to ask straight questions and get straight truthful answers. If I were in their position, this would be the easiest thing to do. I know I would make the worse liar on earth because I am unable to keep track of my lies.

  Any words of wisdom offered here?
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  BrendaCloutier

  Hi Phil.

  I don't know if I can tell you just what you're looking for. I don't know the current policies. Someone else may.

  I do suggest you contact your daughter anyway. Afterall she IS your daughter, and you ARE her father. She will probably feel sorry for you that you're not a witness. She will probably try to witness to you, to convert you, unless you put your foot down.

  Since you were never a witness, there should be no objections to her communicating with you. If you were previously a witness, and left, disassociated yourself, or disfellowshipped, then she would be much more cautious in having anything to do with you.

  Go For It! You have nothing more to loose and everything to gain!

  Hugs and luck

  Brenda
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  Flash

  Question: To what degree do they go to discourage or outright prevent such communications... What on earth are these people afraid of?

  I just want to ask straight questions and get straight truthful answers.

  Any words of wisdom offered here?

  I have the same problem with my daughters. Mind you in the strict technical sense I am a Witness in 'good standing' yet because I am a 'thinking witness' and question and critisize our leadership I am shunned like the Devil. My point is your dealing with a severe cult mentality that conditions their members to equate obeying the men that lead their religion to obeying GOD HIMSELF. As soon as you are percieved as a threat to their faith your shut out. Sooo, go real slow and no deep stuff for awhile, plenty of small talk and even when you do, make or ask a deep or critical remark or question do it only occasionaly for awhile or they will retreat imeadiatly. Patients-Patients-Patients. If your going to succeed your going to have to view this as a long term project...In my desire to have open and honest communication with my daughters right away, I made things worse and we haven't spoken for years now. Go very slow. I wish you well.
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  AuntieJane

  Phil, It must be heartbreaking to be in your situation and know your daughter is so controlled. I am not/have not been a JW but have a niece and nephew in. My sis in law, their Mom (dad died) has handled it better than I could have. I know at first she questioned them, tried to dissuade them, but to no avail. She keeps up a great relationship with them, just in order to have them in the family. I don't think they even discuss religion anymore. If you would like to email me, please do through my name here.
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  Phil

  Auntiejane

  We have been communicating by telephone for the last several years. My other daughter, who is not a JW, has contacted her by email. Unfortunately, when she emails her, the replys come from her husband. In a conversation with her, she said she would send my wife a recipe for some food she had prepared via email. A long time passed and we finally got it via snail mail. She figured it would travel faster that way. That is plain dumb. This brain washing thing is beyond my comprehension.

  I am not a JW and could not possibly become one as long as I am in a sane mental state. (Which is the state in which I am presently in). My daughter and her husband know this. If we were living in the wild west in the year 1700 her husband would not be alive today. I would have shot him. Any person who purposely attempts (and succeeds) to break up a family unit should be dealt with.