congregational cliques

by chuckyy 48 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Gill

  Hey Upside/down! You were in one bad ass congregation!

  Much the same happened in the congs we were in.

  In that last one, none of the kids were allowed to play with our children.as we were bad associations. I say this even though we had never done anything wrong in the JW sense of the word and were pretty normal dubs as afar as that goes. My kids, thank God, had more sense than to let this bother them. So when my mother invited the twins to the meeting the other Sunday I explained to her in my most bluntest worldly manner where she could stuff her meeting! She'll get over it! She's resilient enough!

  As for the end result of the cliques - always in fighting. We were different in the way we acted and didn't allow their behaviour to bother us too much but I tended to have to listen to all the bitching sister elders wife X was doing about sister elders wife W. etc. Maybe when they tell you too much they hate you for knowing all their sordid secrets. But i won't tell no one!
• 

  Sunspot

  ** Anyone from a divided home had to find there own friends and many did - outside the congregation! When I was baptised there were many sisters who were on their own in the cong. One by one they drifted away until I was the only one.

  Wow---you said it! Having an unbelieving mate sure put us in a different time zone, for Pete's sake. ALL the evening meals, movies, etc, we were passed by and that's only the half of it.

  How many times I was asked why I wasn't at this function ot that, only to tell them I wasn't invited! It hurt.

  How many meetings I was at where someone had tons of pictures from a get-togethr, and everyone would be clustered around oohing and aahing over them.......and I didn't even have the chance to say I'm sorry I can't make it......I never heard about them until after they were well over.

  The year before I left, we were heading to town one afternoon, and there-three houses away, was an elder's house (my BS conductor) and there was a HUGE get-together in full swing. They had set up a volleyball net (they already had a big pool and diving board) and the BBQ grill was going.......my heart sunk. I was actually embarrassed in front of my hubby. Thankfully, he never said a word.

  Yeah, it was awful, always being on the outside looking in---and smiling all the while as if it never "got" to you.......

  Annie
• 

  PinTail

  Yeah me too it was a downer to not be invited to go with the elder who took most of the other teenagers on fishing trips in his cab over camper, they all would drink lots of beer and throw fire crackers and get real drunk.

  I miss that old basturd, he was fun, he let me go with all of them once we had a bloody good time.
• 

  CinemaBlend

  happy camper...
  
  the thing is... the people on the outside of the crowd are all doing EXACTLY those same things trying to get in.
  
  It's no better on the outside, they're all trying to do the same things and suffering the same exact problems you outlined there... only they're completely isolated and have no friends as well.
• 

  cyber-sista

  The "out's" on the other hand, especially the children of single mothers, didn't have a chance. They were damned if they did and damned if they didn't. It crushes me to think of how many lonely "outcast" Dub youths there are out there. Or whose lives were ruined completely.

  You know what I'm talking about... the kid who is never included in anything, is poor (so can't "dress" to the standard), can't go out to eat with the others or go to the amusement parks, his mom struggles just to make ends meet, has no dad to help him be socially adjusted as a young man (goes for females too). Is gossiped about, maligned and laughed at... Then the kid finally says f*ck you! and they all gasp and say "We were right, we always KNEW he was BAD ASSOC!- goat!"

  UPSIDE/down...Ya got this one...I knew many of these kids...mom is ususally depressive too and really stressed out trying to work and then make the meetings and then getting discouraged from being sick and exhausted and not being able to make the meetings and then having sister elder's wife who has never had to work a day in her life refer to sister single mom as being "weak" This just happened on my way out of the congo AND to make matters worst an elder got up there and gave a talk about widows and orphans and how challenging it can be to try and help these ones who haven't had good training from their mothers and then gave an example, so that everyone knew that he was referring to single mom sister in the congo and her kids were sitting right there in the audience. I felt horrible and the kids were really upset and never went back to the meetings again . And they were really nice mild mannered kids. That was one of my last meetings too. I knew single mom sister and she was a nice woman--just burdened down with health and financial problems and getting nothing but ridicule from the congo. God this makes me mad to think about it! And, I was sister with the unbelieving mate and yes, that put me in a whole different catagory. Not much socializing with the elite JWs when you're in that position. Yes, there were cliques and they were obvious ones. They were encouraged by the Org. "Associate with those who will build you up spiritually" "Be in the center of Jehovah's sheep-pen Org" Keep a safe distance from those on the fringe, which includes widows and orphans and anyone else who may need a helping hand.

  Sorry I am still a bit bitter here.

  cybs
• 

  Reefton Jack

  Cyber-sista, from experience, the bitterness can last for decades.

  Yes, don't the JWs like to kick you when you are down! My family went down that road.From one moment when I was in line for becoming a Ministerial Servant, and we were very popular. Then my wife's health rapidly deteriorated, to the point that on one occassion she almost died. The brickbats came out then! "Weak' was an epithet bandied around by some of the conregation's self-appointed "elite."

  These self-appointed spiritual hotshots resented having to come around to the house to prepare meals ect. These were the same ones who always boasted about how much time they put into the "Field Service." Showing some acts of Christian Kindness, though, was another matter.

  We can't count time for that, can we?

  Yes, their whole emphasis is arse-about-face!

  I am still resentful after 22 years.
• 

  Bangalore

  So much for being a loving brotherhood.

  Bangalore
• 

  silent

  This is so true. I grew up in the bOrg and was always a black sheep or what I call white-trash witness. My wife grew up in another congregation over 8,000 miles away and she had the exact same thing happen to her. She pushed herself relentlessly between work and service so hard that one day she fainted on the sidewalk. Her blood count had dropped to half of what the medical establishment transfuses at. At that point she had had enough because she literally almost died from shear exhaustion. No matter what you do in the bOrg it's never good enough and having Witness friends is a death sentence. All they do is sit around, judge you, and nobody can be themselves. All it taught me is that people=problems and so except for one older long-time bachelor workmate of mine, I really have no other friends and I'm okay with that. I am my own clique. LOL!
• 

  Balaamsass2

  Oh yes the Cliques.

  Rich clique, Pioneer sisters clique, Elders families, The Cowboys, Health food/vegitarians, popular teenagers,- every JW Hall has them.