Calvin

by teejay 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • teejay
    teejay

    It was a while back... ten or twenty years... when elder Calvin and I happened to be in the same place at the same time. By then, having been raised a Dub and seeing all I needed to see, I'd learned the ins and outs of what it took to gain and hold the office of "older man" in the congregation. Saying "yes" to the higher ups never hurt. Neither did sucking up to the CO. Ask JT. ;-)

    Calvin is still an elder as far's I know, a few years older than me. He never impressed me as a particularly clever man, even by JW standards, but I never gave a second thought to how he rose to the position of overseer. It was rare for an elder to impress me as being very sophisticated. It was what it was, and I knew the game. Want it bad enough, and any level of service was possible... depending on who you knew (or who knew you), who your daddy was, who studied with you, and how talented you were at feigned, worshipful genuflection.

    The thing I found most amusing about Calvin was (is) his fondness for long sideburns... the kind that would make Elvis stop and blush with envy. I mean... all the way down the side of his face... damn near to his chin. Why a middle-aged Black man preferred that clownish sartorial style always mystified me, but other than being amused, I never gave it much thought. Elders often did odd-ball stuff that made me do a double-take.

    As I said, I knew the particulars of the Watchtower Society and what it took to be a Society man. So, once Calvin and I happened to be together on this particular occasion, I thought I'd have some fun. Aware that the CO was due to arrive the coming week, I asked Calvin, "So Calvin... what are you gonna do about those sideburns? The CO'll be here next week, you know."

    Mind you... it was the Mouthpiece? Almighty God had chosen as spokesperson for our local area who was about to make his semi-annual visit to our little town to provide meat in due season, not some chump waterboy.

    "Oh, they're coming off," Calvin said of his ridiculous sideburns...

    "... and when he leaves, they're going right back on!"

    I laughed out loud then as I smile about it now. I dunno. If you think about it, that little vignette, as simple as it is, says all that needs to be said about the JW religion and it's older men. And Calvin wasn't nearly as naive as I always thought.

  • Scully
    Scully

    Cool story, teejay. Calvin sounds like a neat guy.

    There's nothing like the CO's visit (or an assembly or the Memorial) for jolting JWs into grade-school-picture-day mode. Everybody's gotta look their best - the Sisters? go out and buy new new outfits and shoes, for themselves and the children. The Brothers? have to get their hair cut and shine their shoes. The children get extra reminders to be on their best behaviour.

    You're absolutely right. It's all a game, and everybody knows the rules - even the unspoken ones.

    Love, Scully

  • minimus
    minimus

    Not all elders can fall into neat little categories.

  • Bryan
    Bryan

    Really enjoyed that teejay!

    Brought back a few memories.

    Thanks,

    Bryan

    Have You Seen My Mother

  • teejay
    teejay
    It's all a game... Scully

    That's what I was getting at. On a clearly conscious level, even the higher ups demonstrate a crass disbelief in god.

    Calvin's (and a bunch of other people's) behavior more or less said, "I can fool this guy (the CO), and then I'm home free." Little thought was given to an omnipresent god, a mega-Santa Claus, if you were, who knew about, not just the sideburns, but about the men-pleasing attitude that caused a so-called older man to play silly games. Wish I'd-a been that clever a lot sooner.

  • czarofmischief
    czarofmischief
    Wish I'd-a been that clever a lot sooner

    God save us all from being THAT clever... just leads to misery in the long run.

    CZAR

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    When I first read the title my mind thought "John calvin", then I saw the poster and puzzled whether it might be "Calvin and Hobbes", so succumbing to the temptation to open the thread, I was further amazed - LOL.

    Good thread, Teejay. "Playing the game" was common. It was what got me appointed as an Elder, in that Scuba diving was hindering me from climbing the ranks, due to an ignorant PO. I still did it on vacations, but just didn't tell anyone about it. It wasn't so much a case of ignoring an omniscient God as knowing that sometimes people were just plain dumb!

  • BrendaCloutier
    BrendaCloutier

    Ya know, if Calvin had been a little less interesting in gaming the system, he might have been a great guy... his loss.

    Thx for the giggles, TJ

    Bren

    PS My mom's a compulsive house cleaner in general. However, when the CO was coming, she'd clean house as if it had been a pig sty. Gawd I hated dusting UNDER the diningroom table and chairs! She ALWAYS had the CO and wife over for lunch at least on one occasion, and often for dinner, too.

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