The Heavy Toll on Children of DF'd Parents

FreePeace

NOTE: Contains Passionate Language

Two years ago, I divorced my wife, (who was an alcoholic). Close to the same time, Think41Self and I decided to marry, and for that, we were both disfellowshipped (couldn't prove scriptural freedom, but who cares now?).

Between the two of us, we have 3 teenage boys, Tracy has 2, and I have one (adds up to three, Fred). I know the boys have suffered as a result of our disfellowshipping, primarily from J'Dub grandparents. Since I am closest with my son, I can really speak for him.

He is almost 15, and cried to me the other evening because he misses his grandparents (his mom's side) who he was very close to growing up. They live 2000 miles away, and he is VERY worried that they will reject him if he tells them that he has decided to have nothing to do with JW's. This has caused him serious anguish and heartache.

I have been very careful to be fair about JW's, and tell him that I will love him regardless of the path he takes, that is, whether he wants to be a Witness or not. Fortunately, he does not. He is very upset with the WTS for the way they (mis)handled my situation.

It is hard to sit there while your son cries his heart out because, as the WTS Public Relations website says, "Disfellowshipping DOES NOT sever family ties." Bullshit. It even affects children.

With every tear that falls from his face, my disgust with the WTS grows; so does my determination to educate the population at large about "Dub-dom (or is it "Dub-dumb"?).

HEY BOYS IN BROOKLYN! LISTEN UP! You have no idea what you are doing!!! You are destroying families, relationships, friendships! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO SO! YOU ARE MORALLY CORRUPT!

ARE YOU LISTENING BROOKLYN BOYS? I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, YOUR DYSFUNCTIONAL CULT (what cult isn't?), AND YOUR MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE GOD!

If Armageddon does come, you will find me performing my one last act of defiance: Flipping God off and saying, "Fuck You!"

Any Questions?

FreePeace

P.S. for the BOYS IN BROOKLYN: My life is BETTER THAN IT EVER WAS while under 40 years of your control. SO MUCH FOR YOUR BULLSHIT ABOUT THE "WORLD!" Y'all have no idea what you are missing!

"The World is my country, and to do good, my religion." --Thomas Paine

Visit my Websites:
TruthQuest: http://www.geocities.com/freepeace2000/Truthquest/TruthQuestx.html

Empower the Spirit: http://www.EmpowerTheSpirit.com

think41self

Hi Sweetie,

You know I love it when you get passionate!

Yes, the boys in Brooklyn have much to answer for. And I know the pain that Michael, and you, have suffered. But you are both doing so much better now. Michael is a fine young man...and Dana and I are happy to have him added to our "little" family now. Hey, this way, we have fewer Xmas presents to buy!

And don't worry babe, if that elusive "Armageddon" ever gets around to coming, I will be right beside you as you make your final gesture!

Tracy

Preston

I laughed when I read your disclaimer after I finished reading your post. Personally, I wish all people were as passionate about the principles that you believe in! It's an injustice that every single dishonest person in the organization cannot feel the degree of sadness that you are dealing with. I cannot understand what its like for your children to deal with what they are going through right now, but I really understand what its like to be that sad... Not a day goes by that I don't channel my anger into some form of peaceful expression. It's been theraputic for me though, as I'm sure it has been for you. I hope things turn out better for you, your wife and children *hugs*

E-mail me anytime!

Preston.

Farkel

After reading that tragedy in your family I guess I'm lucky enough to be thankful for one thing: None of my children had to face being raised in that sick Cult, and all of them know enough about it to never be sucked into it in their lives. At least I was able to stop the cycle of abuse for four future famlies and grandchildren and being able to prevent the Watchtower cult from putting a choke-hold on their necks, bleed them dry, wear them out, disappoint them with lies and empty promises, destroy their lives and then cast them off like dirty laundry when they are all used up and no longer of any value to the Cult leaders.

My heart goes out to you and your son, Freepeace.

Farkel

Maximus

I went through this identical situation when my son was exactly the same age. They cruelly cut him off, that innocent lad. There are no words to describe the anguish, the total agony of that situation. Many years later the pain has diminished but not the righteous indignation and the quiet determination.

At our lunch together some time back, I told you about what I planned to do. I've done it. The gladiator persona was not taken lightly by this old general.

Your book is terrific, by the way, the principles well expressed. But I'm going to relish eating the Emperor's liver. With a nice bottle of Chianti.

My warmest to you and think4oneself -- I see that she is every bit as wonderful as you said she was.

And Farkel, I detest repetition of passages, but in this case let me pay homage to the most eloquent sentence I've seen written on this or any other board:

:: At least I was able to stop the cycle of abuse for four future famlies and grandchildren and being able to prevent the Watchtower cult from putting a choke-hold on their necks, bleed them dry, wear them out, disappoint them with lies and empty promises, destroy their lives and then cast them off like dirty laundry when they are all used up and no longer of any value to the Cult leaders.

I'm so grateful to love and be loved by individuals whom I barely know, but whose friendship I will treasure till the grave.

Maximus

Eusebius Hieronymus

Up, for the braindead "humble."

Read about reality not about the world of the Stepford Wives.

Jerry

LadyBug

FreePeace

You go for it! I have to say you brought a smile to my face. Not because its funny, its not. Its just that I wish I could express myself the way you do.

I feel for your son and you. It is a tragedy that children have to go through such turmoil for 'sick' reasons.

Neither bugeye nor I are df'd so my children still have the association of their grandparents. But the stress of leaving the org is taking its toll on our children. They are only 7 and 2 years of age and they really don't understand what is going on. I can't even talk about birthday parties to my daughter without her freaking out. We are taking it very slow with them.

Unfortunately the org will never see what they are doing to families. And that is a tragedy.

It is a blessing that you and your son have a wonderful new family now.

My love and best wishes to your ((((((((family))))))).

BEW

joelbear

Hi Free,

First, HUGS. I really feel for you and your son. As you know, I lost 100% of relationships when I left.

The "Brooklyn Boys" don't care. Their attitude is demonstrated by You Know's writings. Basically, individual feelings or desires, including wanting to be close to grandparents are secondary to God's will. You can't reason with that. Most of the decision makers of course don't have extended families or even immediate families, so of course, its not that relevant to them.

I agree with you on making the world aware of what the Watchtower Society is actually like. I speak freely about how my life as a witness affected me and my family. The Truth about "the truth" is the best weapon we have. We don't have to make anything up, all we have to do is let people know our experiences and that will be enough to ward most people off.

hugs again

Joel

LDH

Freepeace,

I hope some lurkers are reading your post and it will hit them where it hurts.

I am totally inactive now, celebrating any and every thing I feel like.

Because I did the old 'drift away' technique, I was able to assimilate into society without the trauma of (another) df'ing.

My daughter goes every summer to visit my parents, and this summer I actually rearranged her ticket to avoid her having to go to the District Assembly. Last summer, they had her call me and ask if she could get baptised. I flipped the @*#& out! That hurt my father, but I told him that I wouldn't subject her to three days of boredom and half-truths. For the first time I also told him that I want her to be allowed to visit some 'worldly' friends. When he asked why, I told him truthfully how isolated I was when df'd and pregnant, and how the only people who treated me with Christian kindness were WORLDLY people!

Also, when my parents came out here to visit, a close friend stopped by to meet them and very innocently started talking about how my daughter helped her put up Christmas lights. The look of disgust on my mother's face stopped that woman dead in her tracks. How Christian!

You won't be able to control your parent's actions. You may be able to tell them forcefull that their actions are in no way Christian.

Maybe a part of their hearts will still be alive, beating under that shell that the WBTS has constructed.

Welcome,
Lisa

The Heavy Toll on Children of DF'd Parents

Share this