Help me pls ... advice needed.

Vivamus

My family is in a battle over morality and character, this being fought over my grandma's dead body, who would turn in her grave would she know.

The main battle is between my mother and my uncle, who accuses my mum of theft and immoral behaviour, and my mum who did in all honsty no such thing, tho she has done some lousy things on this battlefield.

I am very much prevelidged to see the emailwar that goes on between them. This because at first i got BCC's from my unvle, and later cuz my mum has let me read them.

Now, i am furious, just having read yet another email from my uncle, i am ready to murder the man. Since my grammy died this has been going on, and i have kept my peace, due to the thought that it is not my battle (like hell it isn't, hurt my mummy and i will hunt you down) and out of consideration for my uncle who has given me comfort in the hardest time of my life (for which i will be eternally grateful)

yet right now i have written an email in which i burn him for talking to my mum like this, he is dead wrong, and i told him to refrain from making comment on my mums character from now on.

Am i wrong in sending it? (I havent as yet .....)

Nosferatu

I know how you feel. My grandparents have all died, and my family on my dad's side still argues about how much money she had, why they put her in a nursing home when she went to BC for a holiday, and the list goes on and on. I just stay out of it. If it doesn't directly concern me, they can argue all they want. I'll grab the popcorn and place bets on who wins. Why should I put myself in a situation of frustration and stress?

Vivamus

Nos, but it does concern me ,,,, its my mum .... and i see how she feels over this.

Netty

Hi there, I can see how this upsets you, after all this is your mom were talking about. But really, I dont think you should send the letter. (although it can serve a purpose, good therapy for you when you wrote it) I think it was just cause more tension than what there already is, and it sounds like there is already alot of it. You can be there for your mother, as a shoulder to cry on, or a sounding board, thats a great thing to do to be supportive of your mother. I bet your mom doesnt want you to involve yourself either.

p.s something similar happened with my father and his sisters, and it was about the death of their parents and finances, stuff like that. Its just a very emotional time for all involved, I think people say and do things they later regret.

Good luck!

Margie

Vivamus, I wouldn't send it to my uncle because I would be worried that he'd take it out on my mom even more. Of course, your uncle may be different than my uncle. What I would do instead is write to my mom expressing my support of her and offering to help out with my uncle in any way my mom thought necessary.

kls

I agree with Netty on this one . Don't add to the fuel, their needs to be a mediator and in the end you may be the one that gets hurt.

Country_Woman

I have to correct something: I haven't been accused of theft at all. The main cause is jealousy because my mother named me in her will: She allowed me to stay in the house for 1,5 year after which time the house should be sold and the money would be devided equally between all the brothers and sisters.

But I am mentioned by name and this brother of mine is'nt. He feels that I have delayed the selling of the house - simply by staying in the house - and therefore cost him money.

Now, due to the fact that I have lived with my mother for more then 10 years, I was not obliged to pay taxes for my part of the inheritance - and he forced me to pay an equal part as they (my brothers and sis) paid on taxes. What's more, he would like to decide how this amount would be spent - which I denied.

I have told Viv not to meddle into this quarrel: I am perfectly able to fight my own battles - but it takes a lot before I am willing to strike back (which i just did, enough is enough) Viv read my last reply and agreed that her reply on my behalf was'nt necessary at last.

In a way, I was mean: I accused him of being an archetype of a JW (which he despites) because he is unable to "unconditioned love"

Well, we will see how this wil go on, meanwhile i am glad all of you adviced Viv to stay out of this.

It ain't her quarrel and I want her to be able to maintain friends with all the nephews and nieces......

Branda

ozziepost

Branda and Viv:

We are sorry to hear of your unhappy time and send our love and greetings to you both.

We're looking forward to seeing you next year - well, it's only months away really!

Cheers, Ozzie and Mrs Ozzie

Vivamus

Thanx for all the advice, its much appreciated

Thanx Ozzie, i for one am looking forward to yout next visit as well

Like my mum said ... i didn't send out my meddling email. I'll keep my cool .... for now ....

avengers

I'll keep my cool .... for now ....

You do that, you hear.

Andy

Help me pls ... advice needed.

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