Euro-English

by TheHighPriest 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • TheHighPriest
    TheHighPriest

    I have heard from a reliable source that the EU commission stands unified by a 5 year plan to introduce what they call "Euro-English".
    The pom's have accepted saying there is room for improvement in our language:

    In the first year, "S" will be used instead of the soft "C". Sertainly sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also the hard "C" will be replaced with "K". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "PH" will be replased by "F". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mess of silent "E"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

    By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptive to steps such as replasing "TH" by "Z" and "W' by "V". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "O" kan be droped from vords kontaing "OU", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

    After ziz fifz yer, ve vil have a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls of difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

    Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

    THP

  • Francois
    Francois

    Someone please clear something up for me.

    I thought that POM meant "Prisoner Of herMajesty" POM. And that it refered to people from New Zealand and Oz. Not so? I thought it specifically did NOT refer to Brits, Limeys.

    No?

    Franc

    Where it is a duty to worship the Sun you can be sure that a study of the laws of heat is a crime.

  • VeniceIT
    VeniceIT

    I LOVE THIS ONE!!! HEY TALLY WHERE ARE YA!!!! This is a great post for ya buddy!!

    Ven

    "I'm gonna wash that borg right out of my hair,I'm gonna wash that borg right out of my hair,I'm gonna wash that borg right out of my hair, and send it on it's way"

  • Kent
    Kent
    After ziz fifz yer, ve vil have a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls of difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

    What a great idea! Then I can keep on writing when I'm drunk! WOW!!!

    Yakki Da

    Kent

    "The only difference between God and Adolf Hitler is that God is more proficient at genocide."

    Daily News On The Watchtower and the Jehovah's Witnesses:
    http://watchtower.observer.org

  • Stephanus
    Stephanus

    Francoise,

    The term "pommie" is believed to have meant "Prisoner of Mother England" and was supposedly coined by the "currency lads (and lasses)" (the bastard children of the first [convict] settlers). So the first (white) generation born on Australian soil referred to the later unfortunate immigrants as "pommies"; the term later meant all English immigrants, and now refers to anyone from England.

    BTW, New Zealand was never a penal colony (the Maori were considered too tough to try establishing a prison colony near), but they still call the English "poms".

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