Illiad
Dear IRS I procrastinate
till April hits mid-stride
and by then I am almost late
to hold back the sickening tide
of numbers and figures, banalities
vast waves of interest deduction
at the knowledge I must pay penalties
then my mind halts all production
shall I unbutton my jeans and bend over
for the Internal Revenue Search?
will they put me in jail moreover
where the same thing can happen but worse?
I am so befuddled by taxes
I'd rather juggle two-headed axes
Odyssey
I pray to the gods for boons in prostration
the Goddess of Brains comes before me
I offer Athena my used Play Station
She agrees to check out my 1040
and lo! hope lies in two decimals
misplaced to the left of a dot
my shouts of joy ring in decibels
waking everyone alseep on the lot
I wont have to sell half my gonads
or barter my blood till I'm dry
Not yet will I live like a nomad
A tax fugitive till I die.
Now my heart is glad, and the sky is sunny
I met a goddess, and the Feds owe me money