IF THERE IS NOT A CLEAR LAW - INVENT ONE!
I personally knew a sister who was very difficult to deal with. She had many emotional hang-ups, which I believe were left over from her failed marriage to an abusive and alcoholic husband. She did not receive consistent or adequate child support for the 3 children she raised. She lived a tough life and it was reflected in her style in dealing with people in general.
Over the years many JW individuals had personal and business interactions with her that became problematic and resulted in hard feelings on both sides. I also had two situations that directly involved this sister, which went bad.
My family and I moved away for several years. When we returned this sister's children were grown. Two of her children were now doing well in the organization by pioneering and now both have been serving at Bethel many years.
Unknown to me, the Elders maintained a file on this sister. Just as I was re-appointed and began serving as Congregation Secretary, she was disfellowshipped. At the time, I was not very pained over this because she was such a 'pain' in the backside. Yet, I wondered at the charge for which she was disfellowshipped.
When I took possession of the Judicial files, they were in extreme disarray, and required that I spend several days organizing and reading them to determine which notes and comments went where.
This sister's file was about 200 pages and one of the easier ones to identify and organize. I placed these in a sealed file and stapled the 'Disfellowshipped' card (s-79 or something like that) to the outside. I noticed that the charge for which she was disfellowshipped was "Lack of Love".
I asked one of the Elders on the Judicial Committee about this, and where in the Society's literature, the Elder's manual, or the Bible that this was shown to be a basis for disfellowshipping.
He said that she had been a 'pain in the ass' to many friends in the congregation for many years, but that she did nothing technically for which they could disfellowship her. But, because her actions in harsh dealings with the friends and her caustic style, they felt that she was lacking love, and should be removed from further association until she could change.
[I should note that just prior to her DFing, she was Privately Reproved and then Publicly “Marked.” And the talk given was completely about showing love or the lack of it and the discord and consternation it creates in the congregation.]
About a year into her disfellowshipped state, I received a letter from her requesting reinstatement. It was the most heartfelt letter I can recall reading. Her remarks indicated to me that she was on the brink of serious emotional breakdown because of being shunned. What she needed was emotional support and kindness to help her, and not rough treatment.
I gave her letter to one of the Elders on her Judicial Committee. He read it and agreed with me that she was desperate. He felt a meeting with her was in order. The other two Elders did not feel that she had been out long enough, but agreed to meet given my input and the agreement of the third Elder on the JC.
She was met with several times over a few months, and eventually reinstated. She came to my home for the Book Study to visit with me after the meeting. She was not aware that I had encouraged the Elders to meet with her. She was still hurt and bitter.
As we talked through the evening, I begin to realize that she should never have been disfellowshipped. She had received lots of 'discipline' from her ex-husband. She feared men and feared the emotional power men have. She had become tough in order to cope with this fear. She really needed counseling and professional help. She needed men to kindly work with her. That never happened [in her life].
She instead became a broken woman. I missed her strong spirit and wished that she could have been dealt with in a manner that allowed her to get counseling and grow through her emotional roadblocks. But, seeing her spirit broken sickened me. The Elders did not help her. They destroyed her. Like so many before and since, this is an all-too-common experience of JWs and former JWs. - Amazing