Jehovahs Witnesses who shun family - please read this

by Sirona 6 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Sirona


    Why do you shun your family members who have chosen to leave Jehovah's Witnesses (JWs)?

    I am asking this question because I am personally so hurt by the attitude of my JW family toward me now that I'm not attending the meetings. I've chosen another religious path. They do speak to me (after all, I am not disfellowshipped or DA) but yet every now and then I see how they really feel. If I was DF or DA, I'm sure they'd desert me.

    This situation is not what Jesus taught us about. The bible says that we should pray for unbelievers, and win them over by our actions. Also, think about how the bible says God views the "world".

    John 3 16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, [1] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

    So look at the first part of this verse. It says that even when we were not already believers, God loved us so much he would send his Son. Even before we believed it says that he sent him, giving us the chance, loving us even though he didn't know what path we'd choose. In the end, it is GOD who decides (according to that scripture) who will perish.

    The Watchtower society says that those who choose to leave are to be cut off for their own sake and the sake of the congregation. This isn't scriptural. The bible talks of not having a meal with certain evildoers. The thing is, this isn't talking about those who may be weak or stumbled, it isn't talking about those who have voluntarily stopped attending meetings and it isn't talking about those who don't follow the "Watchtower" rules. There is a clear distinction between the Watchtower rules and the bible guidelines. The "Society" didn't exist in those days as it does today, and the basis of belief was the bible. Anything outside of the bible was not accepted (very strictly speaking - remember revelation where it warns about adding to the pages of the bible?).

    Doesn't the bible also tell us not to look at the straw in someone else's eye, and ignore the rafter in our own? Ex JWs are not all "evil" and are not all "liars". Not one person who walks this earth is perfect, yet my JW family members seem to feel justified in saying that I'm a liar and that I only left JWs because "I can't live up to the high standards". Considering that I'm not guilty of evildoing, I wonder how they can judge me so harshly. Maybe its because they've been taught to hate those who have left the JWs.....and who taught them that? The Watchtower society.

    JWs - where is your love? It is not loving to treat someone as though they're dead. It is not loving to have families separated, children without mothers and fathers, all in the name of the Watchtower society. Jehovah God as described in the bible is spoken of as a loving Father, ready to guide and forgive, and in contrast the society won't forgive until someone has been shunned and humiliated, ostracized and downtrodden.

    Next time you, "Representative of Jehovah", decide to self righteously condemn (even in your thoughts) someone else who is not JW anymore, just think about the fact that you are actually representing the Watchtower society - not God - and in doing so you are hurting the people who will love you, now and in the future, no matter what you do.


  • Dansk


    I am asking this question because I am personally so hurt by the attitude of my JW family toward me

    These aren't real, but they come with just as much sincerety:


  • Sirona

    Thanks Ian,

    My JW mum had another go at me this weekend. It was shocking when she finally expressed how she felt about me. Normally, she tries to keep composure, and just recently we had a conversation where she seemed to "accept" me. That was all acting, it seems, because she couldn't resist telling me what she really thinks.

    I'm amazed. She has 3 kids who all have been a godsend! None of us have been unruly, we've never taken drugs, we have never gotten into "trouble". We've always cared for her and forgiven her harsh words. The two of us who are now not JWs are not good enough, however. If it isn't the JW thing its that we don't take her out enough, or we don't phone her up enough, or visit enough (bear in mind I live 200 yards away from her and I'm there 2 -3 times a week). Very revealing that the eldest of us is a JW and is accepted as the golden child who can do no wrong.

    You know how I feel, Ian, I know. At least I have some contact, and you don't have any. That must be awful. Lets just hope they realise before its too late.


  • reganashe

    Are you sure we don't have the same mom. I truly understand your feelings, and I'm sure most people here do to. This is something that unites us all.

    I wish you the best!

    Regan Ashe

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge
    its that we don't take her out enough, or we don't phone her up enough,

    Hi Sirona... I think this is a universal "mom" trait. I've never been a dub, and my mom can be the same way at times. It appears some moms have too much time on their hands, thinking we have the same and wondering why we can't visit with them more. I found your post very interesting.... I wish the word would get out to the general public regarding JWs shunning policy and the devestating affect it has in ruining people and families lives. It's such an evil control mechanism, which I don't understand how dubs buy into. Take care.

    Double Edge

  • azaria

    Hi Sirona, First I want to say how sad I am for you that you are so mistreated by family members, especially by your mother. From the post it sounds like you are a caring person. These posts upset me the most. I'm starting to learn that some people just won't change (not that they can't change) I’m not sure if it was you or Sassy who wrote about their mother a few days ago (about being self centred) I thought the poster was talking about my mother. As I write my mother is on a plane back to Canada. I’m not looking forward to it. My brother and his wife are happy that she has finally left. When I phone her to see how things are going with her all she does is complain about everybody and everything. She never calls me-unless she needs me to do something for her). She spent about two months total with my brother. He’s pretty laid back but he’s had enough. She reacts negatively about everything - if it’s not the news, it’s a movie, or someone in the grocery store - she can and does find it everywhere. Coming back from the Netherlands she was held up in London (she missed her first flight) and she mentioned how st u pid someone was. My mother speaks very guttural. The very thing she criticizes someone else for she is guilty of. I don’t say too much, just shake my head. At times I’ll say well we all make mistakes at times, none of us are perfect, but it doesn’t seem to register. When my brother called a few days ago I got so mad because my mother can’t appreciate the fact that she stayed with him for a couple of months (he’s very generous-taking her to restaurants etc, he even paid for the ticket down) she went on a cruise for a week, she spent 3 months in the Netherlands (with her sister, my cousins, her homeland-walking the streets where she grew up, eating the food (pastries) she was familiar with etc) It’s all wasted on someone that doesn’t appreciate any of it. She says she’s greatful but she’s not happy.My youngest brother (who can't do any wrong) hasn't gone to see her or even phoned her. He was in town Sunday for something else-there was no excuse. My brother and her sister, especially, have done a lot for her yet all she can react to is how wonderful the brothers and sisters have been at the Kingdom Hall. It makes me so friggin angry. Okay I’m over it. (sorry it got so longwinded, if no-one reads this that's okay, at least I got it off my chest))

  • the mole
    the mole going thru the same thing..i stepped down from my postion after so much wrong doing i seen but yet im considered the bad one for doing many people feel the same as we who left the org.. my notes in silent lambs has created a sort of following about me and my family, this site included. i put down month by month the rejection and the lies done to me and my children by the so called lovers of truth. they are anything but truth. i never met so many phonies in all my life until i stepped into a kingdom hall. jesus would condem these people as a stiff neck people deserving of punishment not his love...good luck....****the mole***

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