JWs ARE NOT ALONE ON THIS!
Up to now I have given just three experiences about child molestation that happened among JWs. The issues here have been about the way these crimes are handled, and the flaws in the Watch Tower system of justice. But are JWs alone? What do other groups do?
The Catholic Church has had some serious problems with Priests engaging in child molestation. The Bishop of a Diocese, upon learning of these events, would often just reassign a priest to another Parish. But the problems continued. Eventually, Catholics started law suits and won. Some Priests were jailed, and I believe the Church had to pay damages to the families of the victims. Interestingly, Catholics do not get disfellowshipped for standing up to the Church and filing suits against the Church.
Not long after I left the Big-O, I started attending a Conservative Baptist church. The Pastor was most understanding of my situation because he too came out of a small lessor known cult. He related to me and he showed great understanding in matters of conscience. His wife was a God-send to my wife, because she provided such a level of unconditional love, that my wife seemed almost cured of her depression.
After a couple of years I got a call one evening from one of the Church Elders. It seems that the Pastor was being asked to resign. I asked why, and he said that the Pastor took some liberties with four children in the church. Right away, I knew what that meant. So I asked for specifics. The Elder was reluctant to give details. But he admitted that he knew of my experiences with the local JWs and felt that he should call in hopes that I would not be stumbled. I assured him that I was not stumbled, but that the details are important because I need to know how to act with the Pastor. The Pastor and I had become friends, and the details could affect that relationship. That was my personal choice.
He finally said that the Pastor had committed some mild fondling. I asked if sexual contact was involved. He said no, that the contact was limited to the Pastor touching the legs and buttocks of some children. I said, "That is weird, what does he enjoy about doing that"? He said that the Pastor admitted having kinky feelings, but restrained himself from going any farther.
So, I asked the $64,000 question as I had of the JWs. Were they going to contact the authorities? He said that they weren't sure since this was mild by comparison to what molesters do, and that they didn't know for sure what to do.
I told him that they had better talk to the authorities, because if they won't, I will. I said that I would not put up with this from JWs and I will not put up with it from Baptists, or any group. I mentioned that the Pastor may have glossed over more serious details or have not confessed to other more serious events. The authorities would know how to get into this and make sure that this is all there is to the story.
[An official from the denomination’s headquarters (each church is independent, and the affiliation is a very loose confederation) and basically told the church Elders that same thing I stated. With this confirmation, they did talk to the Pastor, and gave him opportunity to turn himself in first.]
As it turned out, the Pastor was most repentant, and turned himself into the Police the next day. He confessed to “fondling” the four children in the church and two others in a previous church.
He was charged with several felony counts. As it turned out, his confessions checked out and his acts were very limited. But the laws in our state had recently changed so that even minor contact, previously a Misdemeanor, was now a felony.
He threw himself at the mercy of the court and was put behind bars for 9 months. [He was sentenced to 18 months, but between his excellent cooperation and the advice of the Psychiatrist appointed by the Court, he was deemed to have a problem with ‘sensuality’ and was not considered any real threat as a sexual predator.] Nevertheless, he is on supervised probation for ten years and has to register as a sex offender. He can never again serve as a Pastor or in situations where he would have unsupervised contact with children.
I visited with the Pastor after he was freed from jail. I also talked at length with his wife. What I learned in this whole situation is that even our civil criminal justice system is sorely lacking in dealing with sex offenders. The medical field is not anywhere they need to be in addressing how to treat child molesters.
The term 'molester' places in the minds of most people the vision of a mean man who forces little kids to have sex .. and they do not see the variations and degrees of molesters. [I am speaking from in-depth experience having witnessed my own father rape my sister when I was between 5 and 7 years of age, as well as witnessing or being aware of many other situations. I in NO WAY condone what child molesters do, but, I also recognize degrees, and this is an important aspect of this specific post]
There are myths that the general public holds and many of the informative Internet sites have much updated information. For example, most people believe that a boy who sexually abused will become a molester. This is false. There is no real solid data available to determine how many men were molested and how this compares with how many become sex offenders. Also myth has it that 85% to 95% of molesters were once molested. The truth is about 33% of molesters were once molested. It is believed, however, that this is a higher percentage than the general population of men.
My concern here was that the Baptist congregation went too far in its anger. They would visit the court when the Pastor showed up for hearings, and many would spit on him. Many spit on his wife and accused her of aiding her husband. Why? Because she chose not to divorce him. Many assumed she was party to his acts. The judge had to put an end to the out bursts in court and stop the insanity and hysteria.
I saw how the Pastor's family that was devastated by all this. The Pastor did emotionally harm the kids, though not to the degree that most molesters do. His wife and daughters were treated as scum, and they had to move. They were wiped out financially due to civil lawsuits. And when the Pastor registered as a sex offender, neighbors would throw bottles and other things at their home and constantly harass them. His teenage daughters could not safely walk to school.
I do believe that it was proper for the pastor to be held accountable. I also believe that it was wrong for people to mistreat his family. I believe that the church over-reacted to the situation. Yet, it was good to see them openly express their hurt and pain, not having to depend on an organization to tell them how to act or how to think.
What is the difference here? If this had been a JW situation, I have no doubts that the JW Elders would not have discussed the case with me or any rank and file member. They would have felt that since the contact was minimal with the children, that they could handle it and just remove a JW Elder from his post. And if the JW Elder had more serious problems that the authorities would never have known or been able to deal with it.
At least the Baptist Church, in this case, did see to it that the authorities were notified. They could react with normal emotions. And even though there was much over-reaction, the problem was not covered up and quietly sdept under the rug.
JWs are not the only ones with this problem. Civil society does not have all the answers and is still learning much and medical science is trying to discover ways to deal with and treat the perpetrators, and help the victims.
The BIG difference I see is that in civil society and in average churches that are closer to functioning normally, the problem can be discovered sooner before there are more victims and the openness helps all to deal with it and learn from it. Hiding it and covering over will NEVER help.
This account concludes my topic of molesters [for now, unless I decide to add more to the Justice Series on this topic.] Justice #5 will deal with Legal and Medical issues. - Amazing