by zeb 25 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
So often she comes home throws her bag down and stomps around the house. There are times it thoroughly gets me down.
There was probably counsel from the platform about how christian wives should have a "quiet and mild spirit" in order to "win their husbands over without a word."
i am in the same boat....i dread when she goes to the meetings. she always comes home pissed....regardless if we go or not.
this always causes a fight. i hate this cult.
Happiest people, huh.....i wonder what the unhappiest people look like?
thing is, when we sat at meeting seeing who is there and in our minds we like to think everyone else is doing ok, or better,
and guess what, everyone goes home and feels the same way, lol
I know this.
one day about a year before I left,I was in the ladies rest room, and there was a 'sister' in there who was sitting in one of the chairs they have for feeding babies, I asked her how she was, she looked tired, she said , 'i have no idea how much more I can take of this, Im so tired, I have the kids to get in their service hours, [both teens] help my son with his talk, and were pioneering this month, and we have home projects going on , and now we have to .....'
well,you get the message, she was burned out . I wish I could somehow tell her what I know now. her family was so nice, and they were just jumping through hoops. they were what we would say is the model JW family.
always at meetings, doing it all, hubby a mini servant, son giving excellent talks, daughter and mom pioneering, and mom home schooling. oh and on assembly parts, [you know, the ones we like to hate, lol.]
we imagine how it is 'supposed' to be in the JW world, which is impossible, and then we later find out that everyone has worse problems than we thought.
I stopped caring what people thought of me fifteen years ago... I did and said what I felt was right.
[gee maybe thats why no one harassed me about not going in service or missing a few meetings,lol]
Thankyou all for yourkind input.
I haven't set foot in the kh in some years and my wife gets picked up and brought home. Outside they are laughter, once back and in the door the switch gets flicked.
You are all quite and indeed entirely right. Thankyou again for your input and ideas.
Loves ya all
As a wife, I keenly felt the angst of 'not being a model family' if I went to the meetings on my own -I'd feel terrible sadness and...resentment... my husband was not appointed, no responsibilities assigned ......and in JW world it means you are spiritually 'shite'...
The sad thing is that my husband was a generous and humble type, before he let the JW 'male' culture rub off on him - the association of the cynical elders and hard nosed bullies messed with his character development - I'm sure of that.
We are having real quality discussions these days, we are unravelling the mess and finding peace. Reclaiming our identities, getting grounded in the good parts of our characters.
The culture of JW land is geared towards unnatural tension, blame and frustration.
Hugs to all spouses that are suffering and hurting from the crazy stuff.
Interesting. More often than not, if I say that I am not going to a meeting, my wife doesn't go either. What I really wanted was some down time or alone time or maybe smoke a cigar. Maybe she wants to guilt me for making her miss the meeting. Or maybe she really knows that it's mostly a waste of time anyhow. Or maybe she wants to keep me from enjoying the time not at a meeting..
yesterday was one of those days. We got some yard work done, sat on a bench and had a nice conversation, watched the world go by.
We should do that more. Our marriage isn't very good either.
