Feeling anxious, venting...

by stephanie61092 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • stephanie61092
    stephanie61092

    Good morning all,

    This is just a rambling post. At the meeting yesterday during the WT study, I started flipping through the magazine to try to pass the time. I only study one lesson a week (I can only handle so much rubbish at one sitting) so I was surprised when a certain word caught my eye... "Loyalty"

    I think, "isn't 'loyalty' the theme of the convention this year? Oh boy, they're doing a little pre-brainwashing to get everyone prepped for the giant 3 day brainwashing session in a few months - this outta be good!"

    So I start reading (btw it's "Learn From Jehovahs Loyal Servants" in the 02/16 WT study edition) and my heart dropped when I get to paragraph 7...

    7 A conflict of loyalties may arise when a close relative is disfellowshipped. For example, a sister named Anne[1] received a telephone call from her disfellowshipped mother. The mother wanted to visit Anne because she felt pained by her isolation from the family. Anne was deeply distressed by the plea and promised to reply by letter. Before writing, she reviewed Bible principles. (1 Cor. 5:11; 2 John 9-11) Anne wrote and kindly reminded her mother that she had cut herself off from the family by her wrongdoing and unrepentant attitude. “The only way you can relieve your pain is by returning to Jehovah,” Anne wrote

    The rest of the meeting was spent trying to keep my anxiety under control. I knew about the "shunning" talk at the convention coming up but I've been able to keep it out of my mind and even hope that maybe I'll be reinstated by then. I'm just so, so upset and worried that this "loving reminder" will readjust my parents thinking.

    Currently, since I'm "coming back", they talk to me freely and hang out with me whenever I tell them I'll be in their area. I hope that this WT doesn't make them recant. My mom told me as soon as I told her that I was getting DFed that she would always pick up the phone for me, because I'm her daughter. But having that social contact these past few months has been making all the difference in keeping on vs feeling suicidal.

    I keep telling myself that if they didn't want the social contact, they wouldn't have it...they've been JWs long enough to know what's "expected" of them, they've seen quotes like these before, what is one more WT article going to do? But you never know..

    Sorry for the long, rambling post. Sometimes it just feels really good to get my thoughts written out, especially to an audience that understands. Have a good day everyone!

  • KiddingMe
    KiddingMe

    Hi Stephanie,

    I find that sometimes the topic of the article can affect a family's loyality in waves. They have sort of highs and lows --times when they adhere more to the strict rules and times when they don't. They may feel more strongly (or guilty) about it during the time of the article, then it dies down some for awhile or until the next article or talk. Sometimes it may help to steer clear or not press certain issues during those high times.

    I hope your parents keep communicating with you and not let the article an upcoming convention change them.

  • DNCall
    DNCall
    Next time the "L word" gives you anxiety, remember that loyalty is only as virtuous as the object of that loyalty.
  • TheListener
    TheListener

    You deserve some big hugs ((((((HUGS))))). Life is hard enough without the WTS adding to our problems. I'm glad your parents are communicating and socializing with you. All witnesses know the WTS rules and regulations on disfellowshipping; most likely they have justified their relationship with you to themselves in some way. Their attitude may swing back and forth a bit but I really don't think that one article will suddenly make them realize that they need to change how they interact with you.

    But, please, get some professional counseling to get you through this. You deserve to be happy and not to have your happiness so dependent on your outside relationships that you could possibly harm yourself. A professional counselor can be so helpful and important to our healing and moving on in a healthy way.

  • stephanie61092
    stephanie61092

    Thank you for your kind thoughts. I know that even if this article "makes waves" with my family, it will probably be very temporary. I used to do the same thing, I would be invigorated after a convention and for a few weeks be a super JW but sure enough would go back to my old (much more normal) habits.

    TheListener..thank you for the hugs. I am seeing a therapist once a week and have been since January. It does help a lot and I'm learning about inner peace, contentment and genuine happiness. I'm just not at a point yet where I can say that I'm comfortable living without my parents in my life to some degree.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    Keep plodding along towards your reinstatement if that's still your goal.

    Find some solace in the fact that you'll be beating them at their own game where they have set all the rules. You just have to show up, smile, play the game for a while.

    Good luck.

    Doc

  • TheListener
    TheListener
    Good for you Stephanie! I'm glad you are being proactive and moving forward. Please always feel free to vent your frustrations and share your good times here too.

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