Avatar 2: The Blue Space Monkeys Learn To Swim (spoilers ahead)

by LoveUniHateExams 5 Replies latest social entertainment

  • LoveUniHateExams
    LoveUniHateExams

    So. I saw Jim Cameron's Avatar sequel last week.

    Right off the bat re the Avatar franchise, I believe that there are two types of viewers.

    Firstly, there are the fans. The people who see the pretty visuals and immediately conclude that Avatar is the greatest film franchise of all time.

    Then there are the rest of us - people who can appreciate the world-building and stunning visuals but do not use them to cover over the flaws, more of which later.

    The plot - Jake Sully, Neytiri and their children have to leave their idyllic arboreal existence and seek refuge among a green-skinned tribe which lives a semi-aquatic lifestyle.

    Bad guy Quaritch is back ... in Avatar form.

    *slow handclap*

    That's some great imagination - nice one, Jim.

    So the humans are back because the Earth is dead. This time they're after a substance from Pandora's native whale-type creatures.

    There is a final battle and Jake and his family live happily ever after.

    There is so much wrong with this film.

    First off. the plot is basically a retread of the first film, if you switch Unobtainium for the life-prolonging whale jizz, and put Quaritch and his gang of redneck f**ktards back into human bodies.

    The dialogue is atrocious in places. I know that with these kinds of visual films. the plot and dialogue are not the most important aspects, but still(!).

    The characters are rather bland and forgettable. I couldn't get invested in Jake and Neytiri, let alone the new characters. In short, I didn't really care what happened to them.

    And was it really a great idea to have the whale creatures as talking beings who can chat to the Navi? That was f**king ridiculous.

    Avatar: The Way of Water is basically what happens when a director has total control, an enormous budget, and no one to drown out the yes-men.

    How would I rate this film?

    Meh - 4 or 5 out of 10.

    My mate streamed it but maybe it's best to see it at the cinema.

  • Queequeg
    Queequeg

    I saw it in 3d.

    Meh.

    The visuals were good.

    Definitely bland characters.

    There was a lot of not very subtle manipulation. When the movie was over one of my friends said "Wow, that left me with a negative feeling." I said, "I know, it makes want to go out and kill shitty humans. "

    The funny thing is, I think humans can be pretty awful, but I don't like James fucking Cameron manipulating me.

    The best part of the evening was dinner and beer with friends afterwards!

  • TD
    TD

    Bad guy Quaritch is back ... in Avatar form.

    Seriously??? Oh, gawd....

    I could have sworn he was pierced through the heart and lungs with not one, but two spear-sized arrows that in his words were, "dipped in a neurotoxin" and then left for dead in an atmosphere incompatible with human life on a world teaming with creatures that apparently find human flesh delicious.

    Killing a villain that decisively and then resurrecting him for a sequel screams lazy writing

  • LoveUniHateExams
    LoveUniHateExams

    Seriously??? Oh, gawd - yeah, no bullshit.

    I've also heard a rumour repeated by several youtube film reviewers that Avatar-body Quaritch will feature in sequels 3,4 and 5

  • TD
    TD

    Nice little windfall for Stephen Lang, I guess.

  • Anony Mous
    Anony Mous

    The effects are great in all these movies but even the first movie was very forgettable characters and the plot line was basically environmentalism and the mythos of the noble savage in disguise. Basically dances with wolves in space.

    The thing is that the effects have nothing to do with the director, all that is done by almost a thousand graphics designers many underpaid contractors working the tech sweat shops in India.

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